What was your experience of secondary school like.. ?

[SquirrelsTail]

Mine wasn't the greatest.
My dds wasn't the greatest and was pretty bad at points
My youngest ds us about to go up in September and I'm so worried about him as hus best friends are going to a different school, he's not into sports really, and he doesn't make friends that easily
He can be quiet stubborn

I'm just really worried about him

I hated it up until sixth form. Before that I was very shy and withdrawn but really thrived on the extra independence and came out of my shell. My DD was the absolute opposite - loved school and had a great group of friends up until GCSEs but thanks to bullying, Covid and intense exam pressure from a pushy grammar sixth form was honestly the worst 2 years of her life. You can’t predict these things OP. What will be will be!

Yeah I’m tried to tell myself it’s out of my control, I wil guide him as best I can, but he’s gotta do it and do enough to try n make friends etc himself

just trying to think what practical things may help
like trying to build new friendships etc

I loved secondary school.
enjoyed studies and had great friends. Happy memories.

It’s daunting, but Im sure he will be fine, meet some lovely friends and find out what he likes to do.

Did you start out with friends ? Or did you make them there ?

id feel so much better if he was at least starting out with a few mates

I wasn't very happy to begin with but grew to love it and eventually went to work there as an adult!

Isn’t it strange how all our experiences can be so different
I personally think most people have struggles

Loved it.

How did you love it ? What do you love about it?

I loved the scale of it. Moving between different classes, and having different teachers for every lesson. I really liked being a lot more independent and accountable for being in the right place at the right time. I didn't have any friends from primary at my secondary, and I liked that it was a "clean slate" for me. I made new friends there which was great. Just everything really.

I also enjoyed secondary school. It was by no means perfect and actually in retrospect I attended a pretty terrible school, but I still enjoyed my time there and I took away from it what I needed both in terms of academics and life experience. I think the secondary years are formative and many of us have some pretty tough lessons to learn during this time that can be really hard. I do think though that if you get through it successfully (which most people ultimately do) that it helps build resilience and equips you for adult life and working. I worry about the modern desire to whip kids out of school and home educate because they're struggling and reluctant to go to school. I had periods like that but things resolved themselves and I came out stronger for sticking with it

I wasn’t happy there, lots of low
level bullying. I went to a rough secondary in a rough area and it was the 80’s so teachers could treat you like shit and talk to you like shit and it was considered acceptable

Depends on the school.
I hated my first school, it was really rough, I wasn’t aware of this until I moved schools and it was so much better at the new school.

Go around all the local schools, don’t pick on ease or on primary school friends. Go to both open evenings but much much more importantly go during a normal school day.

My eldest is secondary and we have four local to us. Each one was much for muchness at the open evenings, odd differences but nothing immense. During a normal school day the differences were wild! It made the choice 100% easier. She didn’t go with her primary friends but is thriving because it was the right one for her.

Like a PP I hated it up until sixth form. My school was on a big estate and everyday life was practically a war zone. I hated how the other children didn't seem to want to learn and lived to be disruptive. Sport was hell for me. I was an insular swot though.

When I went into the sixth form the time wasters melted away and I felt like I'd found my people. Everyone worked hard and suddenly life seemed full of the possibilities that studying can offer.

Up until sixth form I got by purely by keeping my head down and sticking with a couple of close friends (also geeks) who had come up from junior school with me.

I mostly enjoyed secondary school.
I liked being with my friends and the routine of going.
However when I look back my school was pretty rubbish really.
I rarely did homework but no teachers seemed to care.
We had no guidance on GCSE options or careers.
If you didn't complete a piece of coursework they'd make hints about "have you done it yet" or say "well it's your GCSEs, your choice".
I needed a bloody kick up the arse and perhaps a detention once in a while to get me to actually do some homework might have helped.
I just floated aimlessly through secondary really.

I don’t really look back on it fondly but I think much of that is because I attended one of the most highly academically selective schools in the UK and it was brutal.

You were pretty much constantly told you were all hopeless and never given praise despite the fact that everyone was years ahead of their peers in state schools.

On the plus side the discipline was off the scale. I don’t recall ever hearing anyone swear or say a single word of back chat to any teacher. There were no fights, no bullying between pupils and no absence other than for serious illness.

If a pupil had disrupted a single lesson I suspect they’d have been removed from the school immediately.

I’m not sure even the top academic schools are like that now.

Loved it . Was the only one from my primary but made friends with 3 girls in my form
who are still my best mates 30 years later .

my son is going to secondary in sep , so I've the same concerns , primary has been a breeze so I just hope secondary isn't too bad