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Original poster

How could I handle this challagning situation

31 replies

Stonebag · 07/07/2025 13:41

I live at home with a parent. I have a sibling home from abroad with their partner and child. The child is an older child.

I don't want to give details or information away. I live my niece/nephew so much but I can find that they can be somewhat bratty often and demanding and just somewhat spoilt. They wanted to spend time with me over the weekend however my work was unreal and had me working too. My free time was unbelievably so short and not only that work was so stressful and intense. I only got about 4 hours sleep on Saturday night and everything else was work.

I became ill with migraine and sleep deprivation. I am still having the effects today however I am back in work. It's so hard.

My niece/nephew was crying for me to spend time with them.

Not only this the parents have a very strict rule about screens and very little or no screen time. They don't want screens and rightly so.

However I am the auntie that has a tablet (my tablet is for me however I do some work on it too). And some reading. I have another screen as in a Nintendo switch.

The parents don't want any screens but this child keeps taking my screens. I had to put a different code on my tablet to slow down the child from getting it. The parental controls on the switch is useless. When you set a time on it, it just sets off an alarm and it doesn't switch down the software.

I am still required to go to work and often when I am in work, the child is still trying to gain access into my screens. On my tablet, the code is often entered wrong. I can see on my Nintendo parental app of play time and downloads (usually free).

I am caught in the middle. The thing is if you give an inch with the child they will take a mile so to speak.

I think they are allowed a little bit of play or screen time but just not not a lot. So if they are allowed half an hour, they will just argue and fight with more. Or what happens often is that they will go off and play and explore and be founding playing with a screen.

This morning I had to turn around and just hide my Nintendo and I don't know what I will do with my tablet. I still need my tablet for regular use and online studies and the child wants to play, play, play, play, play.

Also my work has been demanding over the past number of weeks and then I also have guests at home. So all in all it's been very hectic and busy and so very stressful. I do love having visitors and guests. For sure, for sure.

I think next weekend is looking like possibly the first weekend in over a month where I could possibly be free from work.
I also work mid week.

I think next weekend I would really love to take time for myself. I don't know what yet. I don't know if I want to sit at home with a whining child arguing about screens. I am nearly tempted to go travelling and touring for a day so that I can eat a meal and some drinks in peace. Because I likely won't see another weekend free until September. This is on top of a full time work week.

OP posts:
Fluffyholeysocks · 07/07/2025 13:45

Hide the devices and ask the parents to parent their child.

Brefugee · 07/07/2025 13:49

tell the parents to parent their child or you'll give them a device with GTA on it and a can of monster?

Original poster
Stonebag · 07/07/2025 14:03

Brefugee · 07/07/2025 13:49

tell the parents to parent their child or you'll give them a device with GTA on it and a can of monster?

That's so funny.

OP posts:

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Original poster
Stonebag · 07/07/2025 14:04

Fluffyholeysocks · 07/07/2025 13:45

Hide the devices and ask the parents to parent their child.

Yes I think I will be hiding switch or give it to a friend for the summer and say it's gone. The late ts are really dead set against screens.

OP posts:
Original poster
Stonebag · 07/07/2025 14:06

The thing with the child is that, they will play all day long if they are allowed. I presume (I think) they are allowed some screen time. The child is really able to seek and get screen time even when I am not at home and the parents are not happy with the amount of screens.

I had a weekend of hell where my job was nearly trying to kill me and I am sleep deprived and sick with migraine. I was caught up in a childs cries and tantrums and some cross parents.

OP posts:
Jellycatspyjamas · 07/07/2025 14:07

I’d take myself off for the weekend, book a hotel or B&B, enjoy some down time. At home I’d put my screens away and redirect the child back to their parents. How are they getting hold of your screens, I’d be deeply unhappy at a child helping themselves to my stuff, especially things that are both expensive and easy to break.

Original poster
Stonebag · 07/07/2025 14:08

My opinion on screens is that we are living in a world with technologies and this is the future and there's no point banning a child from screens but to allow some time with technology and to monitor the use of it. I don't think there is any point in raising a child to be technology illiterate if that makes any sense.

OP posts:
Jellycatspyjamas · 07/07/2025 14:09

The child is really able to seek and get screen time even when I am not at home and the parents are not happy with the amount of screens.

If the parents aren’t happy with the amount of screens it’s for them to do something about it. Are they engaging their child, playing games, taking them out etc so they have something non-screen based to do.

HenDoNot · 07/07/2025 14:10

You must saving a fortune living at home with parents, I’m sure you can afford the occasional weekend in a hotel to get some peace and quiet.

Jellycatspyjamas · 07/07/2025 14:10

Stonebag · 07/07/2025 14:08

My opinion on screens is that we are living in a world with technologies and this is the future and there's no point banning a child from screens but to allow some time with technology and to monitor the use of it. I don't think there is any point in raising a child to be technology illiterate if that makes any sense.

All of which is well and good, but you’re not the parent. How old is the child?

Original poster
Stonebag · 07/07/2025 14:11

Jellycatspyjamas · 07/07/2025 14:07

I’d take myself off for the weekend, book a hotel or B&B, enjoy some down time. At home I’d put my screens away and redirect the child back to their parents. How are they getting hold of your screens, I’d be deeply unhappy at a child helping themselves to my stuff, especially things that are both expensive and easy to break.

I am taking my tablet to work now with me and not leaving it at home any more so that's not a huge issue as such. However I did discover one morning the tablet removed from my bag and on my bed. The child was likely in my room and tried for a game of something before getting ready for the day and that really wasn't allowed. I did have a new code on the screen that the child didn't know about.

I wasn't hiding my switch but it's only this morning I decided to hide it from now on.

I am in a desperate need of time to myself.

OP posts:
DelphiniumBlue · 07/07/2025 14:12

Put a lock on your bedroom door.
If the child is not allowed to go on screens, why is s/he allowed to go on yours?
Just say no, keep it consistent. If you let them go on once, they will think they can badger you and that you will eventually give in. If parents are saying no screens, you shouldn't be undermining them.

AmIHumanOrAmIAYeti · 07/07/2025 14:14

Are you an employee? This level of work pressure is unsustainable and you need to sort that out.

I don’t understand how this child is accessing your belongings when you are not there. Put them out of the way!

The parents need to parent.

You need to sort yourself out (your health and wellbeing) and stop being a doormat for everyone else. But of course your nephew wants to see you!

Original poster
Stonebag · 07/07/2025 14:16

Jellycatspyjamas · 07/07/2025 14:09

The child is really able to seek and get screen time even when I am not at home and the parents are not happy with the amount of screens.

If the parents aren’t happy with the amount of screens it’s for them to do something about it. Are they engaging their child, playing games, taking them out etc so they have something non-screen based to do.

That's a good point.

The child is at camp in the days. Its eve jngs that are the problem. They are tired after their day and that's what's happening. There's no evening activities except for books to TV. And that's when the child wants my screens. I am often in work until late too.

I must admit the parents are having some opportunities to enjoy some drinking in the evenings.

The child is likely bored and tired in the evenings.

OP posts:
Glittertwins · 07/07/2025 14:16

You firmly tell the child that they should not take things without your knowledge or permission and take the devices with you

Original poster
Stonebag · 07/07/2025 14:17

DelphiniumBlue · 07/07/2025 14:12

Put a lock on your bedroom door.
If the child is not allowed to go on screens, why is s/he allowed to go on yours?
Just say no, keep it consistent. If you let them go on once, they will think they can badger you and that you will eventually give in. If parents are saying no screens, you shouldn't be undermining them.

I had a lock on my door but I was pressured into taking it off.

OP posts:
Original poster
Stonebag · 07/07/2025 14:19

AmIHumanOrAmIAYeti · 07/07/2025 14:14

Are you an employee? This level of work pressure is unsustainable and you need to sort that out.

I don’t understand how this child is accessing your belongings when you are not there. Put them out of the way!

The parents need to parent.

You need to sort yourself out (your health and wellbeing) and stop being a doormat for everyone else. But of course your nephew wants to see you!

Yes, an employee. My work has me studying a course so that is another level of stress and demands on me too. If I am not working I am trying to get assignments done and that's impossible when I am often sleep deprived.

I had a lock on my door but I was pressured into removing it and it's some sort of open access thing now from the family visiting.

OP posts:
dairydebris · 07/07/2025 14:19

Dont let the child use your screens. No, this is mine, its private, you are not allowed on it at all. Then hide it away where child can't get to it. They'll catch on really quick. Keep your screens away from the kid. Im a strict screen parent and it'd drive me crazy if auntie was letting my kids on her screens then complaining they want more. Thats just what kids do! Just make it a total No.

As for the rest of it, it just sounds like you need your own place. Your parent is allowed any guests they want. It sounds like you just resent a child in the house.

AmIHumanOrAmIAYeti · 07/07/2025 14:19

Stonebag · 07/07/2025 14:17

I had a lock on my door but I was pressured into taking it off.

Show quote history

Move out.

Jellycatspyjamas · 07/07/2025 14:19

Stonebag · 07/07/2025 14:16

That's a good point.

The child is at camp in the days. Its eve jngs that are the problem. They are tired after their day and that's what's happening. There's no evening activities except for books to TV. And that's when the child wants my screens. I am often in work until late too.

I must admit the parents are having some opportunities to enjoy some drinking in the evenings.

The child is likely bored and tired in the evenings.

Show quote history

That sounds rubbish for the kid, I know my two even now need downtime after camp activities and use screens, tv as well as books and board games.

I'm unsure why you’re giving in to pressure about keeping your private space private though.

LadyQuackBeth · 07/07/2025 14:21

You don't minimise the effect of screens by banning them, then replacing that time with time spent trying to hack into a screen or argue about a screen.

The parents need to actually step up and encourage them to do other things. How old are they? They could be earning the screen time they do have by helping round the house. The parents should be doing things like swimming with them, so they forget about screens.

They don't get brownie points for banning screens, if their parenting hasn't given their child any ideas or opportunities to entertain themselves.

Original poster
Stonebag · 07/07/2025 14:21

I'm bringing my tablet with me to work now every day. Another issue is when I get home in the evenings. That is often another access point where the child will root in my bag for the tablet. I do have a new pin on it so that's good but still it doesn't stop the child. I make excuses about it and the battery. The pin is only new on my screen so I hope that will help with the child not getting access to it.

OP posts:
Jellycatspyjamas · 07/07/2025 14:27

Stonebag · 07/07/2025 14:21

I'm bringing my tablet with me to work now every day. Another issue is when I get home in the evenings. That is often another access point where the child will root in my bag for the tablet. I do have a new pin on it so that's good but still it doesn't stop the child. I make excuses about it and the battery. The pin is only new on my screen so I hope that will help with the child not getting access to it.

I think you need to tell the child clearly to get out of your bag, and tell the parents too. Regardless of where you’re living and with whom it’s not ok for them to be digging about your private stuff. My kids know not to go into my bag unless I ask them to. You need to start setting some reasonable boundaries for yourself at home and with work.

AmIHumanOrAmIAYeti · 07/07/2025 14:33

Jesus, OP. Sort it out!

Heronatemygoldfish · 07/07/2025 14:39

I'd put the lock back on, under the excuse that it's for your work's information governance policies (as in you have to take steps against people at home seeing potentially confidential information etc.)

Failing a door lock, how about a lockable cabinet? You can get filing cabinets that don't look too horrible. We have to supply lockable boxes to people who WFH if they have confidential stuff.

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