Dating is so so hard

[ThePerkyCoralPoet]

The apps aren’t working out at all. I just keep meeting men who come in with what seem to be good intentions. But then it’s all about sex. Or suddenly I’m getting 10 pm messages saying come hang out.

I just give in. Like yes I would love to hook up but nearing 30 I want to hook up and feel something for that person.

I stopped using the apps for months due to disappointment. I took 8 months off. Then re joined 4 weeks ago. Went on around 3 dates with 3 diff men.

man 1 - 2 dates and I slept with him. Stupid yes but I have needs
man 2 - red flag of a man. Talks all about money and wealth and wanting love like a movie. Then tells me mid date after I’ve had 2 wines that he’s been drinking non alcoholic beer. Very odd.
man 3 - footballer. Need I say more. He insisted I come over to his for a coffee. Very very pushy. I said no and agreed to Starbucks. Got there before him and I got my own coffee. He wasn’t happy and said he felt useless. We talked. Suddenly I got midnight messages asking me to come hang out.

Literally. What the hell. This is such a mess and I just keep trying not to be sad but it’s so depressing.

Man 3 I can understand, he does sound like a red flag.
but man 1 it takes two to tango as they say, I mean he could be saying the same about you, did you sleep with him willingly? Or was he pushy?
man 2 isn’t that what anyone wants though? And why is him drinking non alcoholic beer odd? He’s not stopping you from drinking so I don’t understand?

If someone pretends to drink alcohol, whilst you’re drinking wine, I’d assume they might have the intention for you to be drunk to cloud your judgement.

online dating is a total nightmare.

Not drinking is usually something you mutually agree on. Don’t keep drinking non alcoholic beer. That looks like beer and not let your date know

That’s a ridiculous comment. Why should he agree anything with you beforehand? If he doesn’t want to drink he doesn’t have to.
It’s not odd at all. But you sound very immature.

Why do you have to mutually agree to not drink?!?

also - you have clearly decided in advance for yourself what you think of footballers - so why go on a date with one?!?

I don’t disagree that dating is hard, because, men; but you’re writing some strange stuff.

I wonder if you have any interests that could lead to meeting men eg quiz team, sports or reading group. Lots of people on here don't seem to meet men they like from dating apps so why not try to meet them in real life, get to know them a little and then decide if you will date them.

sorry I don’t get why he has to tell you, it’s entirely his choice to drink or not and was he driving? If so maybe that’s a good sign about him if he doesn’t like to drink and drive.

My friend says she treats dating like a second job.

She only meets for a coffee now after wasting Saturdays on dinner and drinks with men from apps. She is happier in this approach.

She has had some long term relationships from the apps. But has also met people through hobbies.

I don't think drinking non alcoholic beer is a red flag. I dont drink and wouldn't think to tell someone, u less they were going to order me a beer and I'd say I'll have a non alcoholic beer please.

You slept with the first guy after the second date. Unless it wasn't a mutual decision I don't see an issue with that.