Nostalgia making me feel sad about getting old

[Wasitalwaysgoingtobelikethis]

I am a migrant. In my late teens/ early twenties I went out with a guy back home in a different country. He was supposed to be the love of my life. We used to have great fun together. Then I moved to the UK and things just never worked out. He cheated on me and was a heavy drinker. The distance also didn’t help. But he used to have a motorcycle and we would whizz around town. Great memories. Especially when he’d stop at a red light and would just caress my legs whilst waiting for the lights to turn green. It’s just a teenage memory now. Twenty years later, the other day I was behind a motorcyclist and he was doing the same (caressing his girl friend’s leg while waiting for the lights to turn green) It brought a tear to my eyes. That was me. I was young once. I am in my 40’s but I don’t know why I felt like life is moving so fast and I can’t handle it . Even writing this I have a tear in my eyes. I dont have friends I can tell this to. So I am writing it here.

I know what you mean about time going too quickly. I am also in my forties and think it feels like only yesterday that I was 21. It is scary and daunting to think of yourself as middle aged, also throw in peri-menopause for us women and emotions can be all over the place. It seems like you have been mourning for what could have been with your first love. It is good that you have lovely memories of this time though, despite the bad things he did such as the cheating. I occasionally get down about being older but now think I should be thankful as growing older is a privilege which is sadly denied to many people. I hope things improve for you op.

sometimes I am overwhelmed with the weight of all of those things that are in the past - the long away past! That sounds a bit dramatic, but it's a kind of nostalgia exactly like you describe. I was up in town in the summer (in England), and there was a wedding party walking past. The groom was in a kilt and so were some of the wedding party. I suddenly felt like crying, I had a tear in my eye. It took me back to when I was a child; all my family are Scottish and it took me back to that kind of wedding. All gone now and packed up into the past..

I feel like this too sometimes especially with my dad dying recently. I can see my childhood home in my mind's eye and wish I could go back there and be with my family. I'm also in my 40s. It's so weird to think of the amount of time that has passed, when in my head I still feel like I'm fairly young!

Oh @kiwibluegetting old sucks 😭 I am 44 tomorrow and I keep thinking it only goes one way.

I understand OP. I feel like my original family is fading fast and my youth is so far away. I miss who I was back then, nowhere near as anxious and full
of positivity. I still have my parents but my dad is frail and my mum has dementia. My only sibling is emigrating in the next couple of years. I try to focus on what’s good (and there is plenty) but nostalgia makes me sad

Happy birthday, @Wasitalwaysgoingtobelikethis . Nostalgia is bittersweet in its essence; that lovely feeling of revelling in memories and the sharp reality that's it's the past and gone... Hope you make new memories to enjoy again this new year on your life x

I remember being in my forties and feeling exactly the same way! Now I'm in my 60s and would love to be in my forties again! Forties isn't the end, you've so much living still to do. I went on to create some lovely memories in my 40s/50s that I look back on with nostalgia now