Feeling down about daughters change of class from reception to Year 1

[Raindrops84]

I know it sounds a bit silly and please be kind as I’m genuinely upset. My daughter has a lovely class that she is in at the moment, the classes have been split from 3 into 2 large classes. She’s been moved into a class of children she doesn’t play with, her best friend is in another class and the new class is very boy heavy, about 70% boys and 30% girls. I haven’t asked as I don’t want to be ‘That parent’ but the school have made it clear there are to be no changes, which I do understand too, it must have been a nightmare to decide how to split 3 into 2. I’m just looking for a bit of reassurance. I’m nervous about it being boy heavy mostly, she was quite shy starting and made friends with a handful of girls, all of which are in the other class. There must be a reason for it (I hope) and not just a case of sticking her in this class? I’m just looking for reassurance, I’ve felt so down all weekend :-(

Sometimes there seems no rhyme nor reason to the groupings and they kept changing each year throughout primary school. I remember my daughter crying her eyes out from yr 2 to 3 because similar happened to her with all her friends staying in the other class. She made a new group of friends and a new best friend, the latter is still her best friend in yr11. Your dc will still see her friends at break and lunch time and all may change again in the next year.

I’m sure there will have been well thought out reasons. I totally understand your feelings but, from experience as both a parent and a teacher, children are usually absolutely fine and find people to get along with in most classes. I assume they will all be able to play together at break times and lunch times which are the most social times for Y1 children anyway.

You don’t sound like ‘one of those parents’ either, just a parent with concerns and so if I was your child’s current teacher I would be happy for you to ask some questions and seek reassurance that the school believe this is best for your child. You’re not just going in demanding that they move her, you just want to hear their reasons and perspective which is a valid position. I hope it works out well for your daughter.

I’m a KS1 teacher and parent who understands both sides. It’s normal to feel upset. My advice is to chat to your dd’s teacher and ask them to share their reasons for putting your dd in the class she’s in. They could even suggest some potential friends you could meet up with over the summer. As teachers we agonise over class changes so there will be a reason your dd is separate from the friends she plays with.

At my kids' primary school they shuffle the kids each year and they don't tell the kids until the last week. There are quite a few composite classes which leads to a shuffle as kids are generally not in a composite 2 years in a row. Both my kids have been separated from their best friend at points so we have tried to encourage play dates and meeting up in the holidays, and they always find each other at break and lunch. My eldest has had the same best friend since age 6/7 and they're now 13/14.
A relative is a teacher in a different local authority and she said there is a big discussion around who goes in what class each year. They don't just pick names out of a hat. It might be worth a chat with her teacher before school breaks up to understand the process and reassure you.

They did this to my youngest when moving from yr 4 to 5.
I asked and was told that it was in his best interests. I assumed that it was because they were making it easier on themselves to have the kids affected by dyslexicia in the same class.

But no, I found out later that one of the boys in his original friendship group was incredibly jealous, and had made up some really awful stories about my son with the sole intention of getting him into trouble.

The teachers had realised pretty early on what was going on and the boy in question soon realised that the teachers didn't belive him, so he then told his parents all sorts about my kid. The class teacher apparently found the whole thing exhausting as, at pick up time, practically on a daily basis, the parent was always waiting at the school door for a quick chat about what my son had done this time.

I was not aware of this until years later when one of the ex PTA's Mom's became a pal and told me what had gone on.

My son went on to make really good friends in his new class and these friends have seen him through to his current yr 8 at high school.

to the teachers on here, why would you create such a boy heavy class instead of making things even?

There will have been a lot of thought.

i’ve been part of these discussions and they take a long time. They try to balance the classes for so many factors - SEND, children who really can’t be together because they fight/or one won’t talk without the other etc.

breaks and lunches are social time. Mixing it up in primary does really help them develop social skills as they get a lot of practice at meeting new children and developing relationships with them.

Sometimes the boy heavy class will be with the most experienced teacher.

Thank you everyone, I feel better after reading these comments. It’s true, she will still be able to see her friends at lunch time and actually going into yr 1 is probably a lot more learning based than play, in comparison to reception. It will all work out and I need to trust the process.

It depends on the school.

I helped out with my son's class a lot so knew all the kids and how they fitted together very well.

The kids where the parents were unhappy about them being separated, tended to be shyer and dominated by the others OR were a really bad combo that needed breaking up for class management reasons.

But in every case I definitely got why and could see the logic.

From what I know of other classes they tended to make the boy heavy classes ones where the boys are much more 'soft', touchy feely and likely to play with girls. The other class with less boys tended to have the more boisterous boys in it.

So if they've looked at that, it might be a really good thing rather than a bad one.

DS was put in a class with his best friend but actually as they all sit in different table groups a d are regularly shuffled around he's never been with his best friend in lesson time. They always play together at break and lunchtimes though

As a teacher who has been involved in splitting many, many classes over the years I can assure you that there will have been a lot of thought put into which child goes where. There will definitely be a reason your daughter is in that class. Again from my experience she will be fine. Although I completely understand why you’re concerned.