Is this a silly thing to do?

[DicentraAlba]

I am 63 but still act impulsively at times (ADHD). I have a PhD and have had a good career and brought DCs up successfully etc. but I sometimes go off on tangents and need wise advice from time to time. I have an idea about something and I’d like level headed advice please.

I am semi retired from a professional job but have loads of energy. I am pretty fit and strong ( yoga every day and used to be yoga instructor, marathon runner etc.) I am a keen gardener, and have some background in horticulture. An acquaintance owns a holiday home that I stay at a couple of times a year for mates rates. She has recently said she can’t find a gardener. The last time I stayed there the state of the garden bothered me and I tidied it up a bit, which I found satisfying and helped her out. I am wondering whether to offer to do it regularly for her in exchange for free stays at the house.

But, here’s the complication. The house is about 90 miles from me and I don’t drive (ADHD). It would take 3 hours or so to get there and cost me about £35 return including a rural bus ride with a very infrequent service. As I have never driven, it doesn’t bother me at all to take long journeys by public transport and I am quite happy to walk long distances if journeys go wrong, I did that for many years when caring for DM who lives in a rural area.

My idea is that I would offer to go there eg. once a month, do the garden, stay the night and return the next day. DH or a friend could perhaps come with me. It’s a very pretty area and I’d get a fix of rural life which I miss as I live in a city. Alternatively I could garden once a month as a day trip and get a ‘free’ stay at the house for eg. a couple of weeks a year.

Does this sound reasonable or bonkers?

If she's keen on the idea, I don't see why it wouldn't be. I think the day trip/overnight stay sounds like a better deal, a couple of weeks might be cheeky.

It sounds like a great idea & if I were her I'd snap your offer up!

as you're semi retired could you go for a couple of nights so you get to enjoy the break as well as doing the garden & get a bit more out of your transport expenses?

id also be more than happy to book a full week of your choosing to just holiday.

& id be totally happy with your DH or a friend taking you/going with you. Or even us going together, as there would be other jobs/relaxing for me.

I don’t think it’s a good idea, the journey sounds a pain and it mixes up friendship and work. There are much easier, cheaper ways for you to get time in green space.

She probably can find a gardner, but not for the price she wants.

You could suggest it to her and see what she says.

One thought though, if you are staying over once a month, this might clash/restrict her letting it out for holidays.

A couple of weeks would be taking the piss, I think, as you’re already getting the place for mate’s rates.
Also, my pain-in-the-arse garden needs the grass cut more frequently than once a month. Assuming her garden is laid to lawn, it could be that she ends up getting a gardener anyway.
I do think it sounds like a good idea though! It works for everybody.

Once a month is not enough over the summer

This is a very sensible point which I overlooked. I do my own garden every day in the summer! She will have to get a gardener eventually as it needs doing more often and it doesn’t make sense for me to come more often, it costs too much in train fare. Thanks for thinking it through for me.