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Original poster

Is starting a full time job a good idea right now?

26 replies

Gamerchick124 · 04/07/2025 15:14

I’m a SAHM with a 3yr old. My partner works as a bin man gone from around 4am until 1pm. I recently accepted a job due to start next week as a support worker. Hours are 2:30 until 9:30pm.

I was so overwhelmed today to the point of crying. I’m worried that I won’t be able to handle being a mum and working a full time job. I don’t know what to do. I’m exhausted and my mental health is at an all time low.

please let me know if I’m being unreasonable to want to stay at home for now?

OP posts:
rubyslippers · 04/07/2025 15:15

Do it
in this financial climate - take it
assume your DP will be looking after your child so no costs regard to that?
you will get used to a new routine ; more money etc and you’ll still see plenty of your child

Neurodiversitydoctor · 04/07/2025 15:17

9:30-2:30 assuming 5 days a week is 25 hours this not a fulltime job. Everyone home every afternoon from 3 ? The stuff of dreams for many families.

slet · 04/07/2025 15:20

millions of mums work full time and cope. It will be fine.

Interested in this thread?

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Families
Whitesapphire · 04/07/2025 15:20

Neurodiversitydoctor · 04/07/2025 15:17

9:30-2:30 assuming 5 days a week is 25 hours this not a fulltime job. Everyone home every afternoon from 3 ? The stuff of dreams for many families.

Read it properly

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 04/07/2025 15:20

I worked full time and ran a home, looked after my mum who had cancer, went to night school for years, did a post graduate qualification.

Only you can decide how hard you want to work (or not) for you and your family.

It's not easy but youve got to want it and be prepared to graft - or take the easy route!

TheLittleMermoo · 04/07/2025 15:21

It sounds like the perfect job for you and your family OP. You are going to do great. Have faith in yourself x

catin8oot5 · 04/07/2025 15:21

Neurodiversitydoctor · 04/07/2025 15:17

9:30-2:30 assuming 5 days a week is 25 hours this not a fulltime job. Everyone home every afternoon from 3 ? The stuff of dreams for many families.

OP said it’s 2.30 - 9.30 so 35 hours a week

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 04/07/2025 15:21

Neurodiversitydoctor · 04/07/2025 15:17

9:30-2:30 assuming 5 days a week is 25 hours this not a fulltime job. Everyone home every afternoon from 3 ? The stuff of dreams for many families.

Read the post!!

Neurodiversitydoctor · 04/07/2025 15:22

Neurodiversitydoctor · 04/07/2025 15:17

9:30-2:30 assuming 5 days a week is 25 hours this not a fulltime job. Everyone home every afternoon from 3 ? The stuff of dreams for many families.

Apologies yes that is quite different. It would be tiring how many days a week is it ?

tweetypi · 04/07/2025 15:22

Why is everyone misreading the hours? It’s 35 hours a week so is a full time job. Sounds tough OP, very little downtime for you, especially if your 3 year old is an early riser. Stick it out for a bit though and see how it goes.

InWithPeaceOutWithStress · 04/07/2025 15:28

This sounds doable to me OP. Your partner will be taking over afternoon and evening childcare and will need to deal with feeding them, bath, bedtime routine etc. You’ll get back at half 9 and can have some downtime. You’ll be getting away from a fair bit of the grind at home.

napody · 04/07/2025 15:31

I agree that it's well worth a go. This would be the least tiring time of year to try it becuase of the light evenings. Does you 3 year old nap- could you get a nap in before starting? As a pp said it's also really good for dad to get into a regular share of the childcare. If you do well but it's too much they might let you drop a day or two going into autumn, then up it again later? In the current climate I'd definitely give it your best shot. Good luck!

bluecurtains14 · 04/07/2025 15:36

Do it but make quite sure your partner steps up at home. It's mad to be a SAHM if not married, hugely risky.

twistandscream · 04/07/2025 15:36

I remember feeling pretty much the same, working similar hours. I was scared actually. But once I’d finished the first week and felt more comfortable with procedures etc, I really valued being with other adults in a supported environment. There’s something about assisting others that really has a positive impact on your mental health and for us, we could go on holiday for the first time in ages which was an added bonus.
see how you get on for a few weeks. If it’s really too many shifts you could request a change of your terms to a part time role. It’s very difficult to attract and retain decent and reliable support staff so that’s likely to be a possibility. Give it a try! And best of luck 😊

Landlubber2019 · 04/07/2025 15:41

You need to go for it as you need financial independence should your relationship fail.

Thedoorisalwaysopen · 04/07/2025 15:54

Take the job
You have had 3 years at home - you will manage. See part of 'being a mum' as providing for your family.

Yamyamabroad · 04/07/2025 15:55

If you can afford it, you can be a SAHM. If you will be reliant on state support to achieve this then you should really start making moves towards supporting your family yourself.

Original poster
Gamerchick124 · 04/07/2025 16:08

Thedoorisalwaysopen · 04/07/2025 15:54

Take the job
You have had 3 years at home - you will manage. See part of 'being a mum' as providing for your family.

I have actually worked since having my daughter

OP posts:
LittlleMy · 04/07/2025 16:18

As above PP said, part of being a mum is providing financially for your kids. The hours re start esp seem very good and considering how many threads I’ve read recently about mums of young kids who are desperately posting threads for ideas on home working because their circs (sometimes even with a partner say who has irregular shifts) are such they can’t leave home is quite sad. So especially in this job market and with those ‘OH compatabile’ hours, I’d say you’re quite lucky!

If you haven’t already, I’d just maybe get an agreement with DP about the household chores and best way to split them so you’re both taking on an equal load and perhaps him picking up a little more at the start whilst your body adapts to the new routine. But good for you at least bagging yourself a FT job - well done and I hope it goes well ♥️

Powstraw · 04/07/2025 16:24

It sounds like quite a big jump from sahm to ft work, especially if you are already exhausted. Most sahms switch to pt hours first and at least use nursery so both parents get a bit of a break. But you will save the nursery costs, and it will do your DH good to have that bonding time with the dc. You'll have to ensure you spend some time to focus on your relationship, as you'll be passing like ships in the night and both be tired from work and childcare. But financially it sounds like needs must, and it will be easier once you can get some nursery hours. Look into the costs of nursery as I thought you'd get some childcare help if both working ft.

reluctantbrit · 04/07/2025 16:30

It is absolutely possible if you and your partner are working together.

So when you leave, he has to cover all childcare, cooks and does bedtime each day. Does he do anything at the moment? It's quite a differnce when two paretns are there to just one.

Is your child at pre-school? That would mean you have some time in the morning to relax, because otherwise it's running from being a mum to a f/t job without any break.

As your partner gets up really early, you won't have a lot of time together during the week, make sure you get this at the weekend.

How long is your commute? Is there enough buffer in case your partner is delayed coming back home?

FloofyBird · 04/07/2025 16:47

What work did you do before? Does your DP pull his weight? I found getting back to work and time away from being mum/wife really helped (I had pnd though).

Crinkle77 · 04/07/2025 17:09

bluecurtains14 · 04/07/2025 15:36

Do it but make quite sure your partner steps up at home. It's mad to be a SAHM if not married, hugely risky.

Yes this. Your husband needs to step up and take on half of the housework and childcare.

SummerInSun · 04/07/2025 17:23

The anticipation is almost certainly worse than the reality. You may find that having a separate working existence from your home existence is actually rejuvenating. But you won’t know unless you try. Give it six months and see how you feel then.

Toomuchleopard · 04/07/2025 18:46

In some ways it seems like the perfect arrangement as one of you will be with your child at all times. However I think the reality will be quite hard on both of you as not much downtime. Assume your partner is up at 3am, working until 1pm then looking after a toddler until bedtime before going to bed early themselves. Similarly you’ll be getting home 10ish then straight to bed and up early with the toddler?
It’s doable and a good arrangement if you need the money. I think you will need to be super organised and a good team.

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