To love pottering around.

[AuntieAunt]

I think I’ve just had bit of a eureka moment on something I haven’t been able to put my finger on.

I really like just pottering around. Not in a hurry, not having a plan, feeling a bit productive but not exhausting yourself. Just going with the flow and enjoying the day. Might dead head the flowers, tidy up the dumping chair, reorganise a cupboard.. As I’m in no rush, I’ll get started whenever I fancy it, put on comfy clothes, have a few tea breaks and at the end of the day the house will be more presentable and I usually feel the sense of achievement.

However DH is the complete opposite, he wants the jobs done as quickly as possible for us to ‘relax’. It’s the same in the evenings and especially at the weekends. He’s always asking me what he can do to ‘help’ and how much longer I’ll be etc. These are days we’ve got no zero plans/planned to ‘relax’.

It’s bloody obvious now I think about it. It makes me feel tense that I’m on some sort of clock and being asked to what I’m doing. I can be happily repotting some plants outside and DH will come out and remind me that we ‘planned to relax’. DH says he can’t relax whilst I’m doing jobs.

We spend a lot of time together, we’ll do ‘fun’ things at the weekend too. It’s just when we’re having ‘lazy days’.

Anyone else a potter?

My former landlord (I was lodger) had a phrase for this, “going upstairs now for a Dennis”.

sounds like a euphemism and in its way it was… for ‘potter’.

I'm definitely a potterer! I like to do things spur of the moment, and I'm inclined to spot small tasks that I suddenly think I'll do. Today I decided that I would actually go find some compost and plant pots and plant the babies that the spider plant is throwing out.

DH can't understand it - he'll say, 'What are you doing? We've got loads of spider plants' but I think it's a waste not to pot even more. I've also tidied up and decluttered the cupboard under the stairs today. It wasn't on my plan, but I went to put something away and then decided I'd drag things out and clear it out properly.

I love to potter too . Love to have no plans or pressures . I think it is my personality though INFP . I do remember my dr looking at me with pity when I said I liked pottering. I guess GP’s are the opposite to me though and full on work hard play hard types.

Im a potter bug too.

Sounds like a usual weekend... Love it!

I adore pottering about with no real aims but actually achieving a lot. It's my therapy! I couldn't be doing with someone hurrying me along at all.

Just had a potter in the garden thinking about this thread. In the Potting Shed as you ask.
What I can't get my head round is what do people do who don't potter?
Do they just sit there looking into space or watching Cash in the Attic? Do they start on the gin at noon? How are they tired at bedtime?

I have a short attention span these days so pottering suits me. I struggle with having a big task to do so break down into pottering steps.

Dennis Potter was a screenwriter!

I love to potter but I like to intersperse it with another hobby which is 'having a gaze' where I sit in my garden with a coffee and gaze.

Ooh I absolutely love a potter, nothing nicer xx

I'm a potterer too. Love to do a bit, sit down with a coffee then do a bit more then maybe read for a bit. I can while away a few hours doing this on repeat.

I don't wonder that. It's obvious why so many people enjoy doing them - they make our own environment more pleasant. It's reward for our efforts. With work tasks we don't get that. We have to wait for pay day.

I love pottering so much I get up earlier to have a 20 minute potter before I begin my day.

Me too, I rarely sit down for more than about 15 minutes unless I’m sitting to do something (laptop, crochet etc). I can’t remember when I last watched anything on the telly. DH does what he needs to do and then sits. Sometimes I get irritated that he can just sit when things need doing but he doesn’t seem to need me to slow down. I have pottered all day today and it’s been lovely.

Similar to my 10 minutes potters in the garden. Which involve wandering around looking at every plant to see what it's doing.

Did you tell him this OP? That this is how you relax? YANBU to feel this way but he won't realise unless you tell him.

I know! That’s the joke!

Hmm, I’m not sure I do like pottering, especially as on this thread it seems to be basically doing chores but just at a leisurely pace? I don’t really find decluttering drawers or weeding enjoyable at any pace, so I’d rather do it faster and do stuff I do enjoy: reading, exercise, watch something, listen to podcasts, do some of my craft stuff, etc. I do enjoy days with no plans but not because I plan to fill it with a day of slowly doing housework stuff but because I just do various leisure things I like. Is that pottering?!

…they make our own environment more pleasant. It's reward for our efforts

This bit is obvious to me but completely unfathomable to my DH. The poor sole genuinely seems to think I am either being a martyr, or having an awful passive aggressive dig at him when I have a potter.

He’ll last about 2 hours, getting more and more upset, before blasting out “is there something you are wanting me to do ?!?”

I genuinely wish there was some way to get him to understand.

Equally, I find his way of relaxing difficult. He literally just wants to sit and do nothing. It could be 16 hours of just sitting in one place, watching TV, reading, playing a game. I get bored after a couple of hours, and I seem to need some sense of achievement which I don’t get from doing nothing.

That sounds idyllic. So calming. 💟

Sorry, from the way it was phrased it sounded like you didn't!

Yes, I have two jobs, a volunteering role, several other hobbies including an allotment, sports and crafting, teenagers with SENs, a good social life and I fill the rest of my time with pottering. So if I’m not doing anything else on my non-work day I potter, I potter in the morning before everyone else gets up and I potter in the evenings after getting back from wherever (I’m out for at least an hour nearly every night after work).

Oh my gosh I have finally found my people!!! My pottering also makes my partner feel on edge though, he always says he can’t relax when I do this because it makes him feel like he should do jobs around the house. I’d rather just potter and not have him around ha ha. Best when he is out doing his hobbies and I have the house to my self, relaxing for us both 😊

Totally with you! Or people without any hobbies (not hobbies like brunching or shopping or listening to music.. not really hobbies imo sorry I know many people will disagree). Or people that have nothing in the house to organise…. Just a sofa, telly and a bed. Where does their energy go….