Autism - advice for hairdressers

[LittlePineapple]

I'm getting the chance to talk to some hairdressers about autism (myself and kids are autistic).

However I know my experience is just my experience....

Id love to know what other advice you'd give hairdressers about a understanding autism or what would really help you/your child when having your hair cut.

Consider the speed they work. My dd likes it quick as possible someone else might need it slow with plenty of breaks.
clippers are noisy and vibrate which is a lot in sensory terms. Allow person to look at or feel it and prepare but it might not be tolerated. Products and disinfectants smell a lot. In fact just get them to think about how they do a haircut and all the sensory onslaught created in their salon.
aomething like a weighted lapmat could help and have a box of fidget toys too. Turn off the radio/ music in salon maybe
also ds tends to swing his head randomly which has safety implications if you’re near his face with scissors

Id post on Facebook asking for a hairdresser that works with SEN kids. It'll be invaluable

@wonderpetsrus yes that's fab thankyou!!

I was thinking about awareness of sensory issues (and that they're real - it's not the kid/adult being fussy!)

I was thinking about explaining a bit more about sensory differences - ie music in slaon might be overwhelmin but might want own ipad/music.

I like to visit somewhere first or if it's a home person maybe they could visit first.

I really love the massage bit. I know not evryone does!

I was terrified of hairdressers as a kid though.

Really I'm just there to talk a bit about autism from my perspective and this group of hairdressers are interested to know more! So I thought the more people who know about autism the better...

So really anything you'd like a hairdresser to know!

Yes Hagnumber4 (great name) in reality I would compeltely suggest to a parent to ask on fb for good suggestions but this is the other way and the hairdressers want to know and I want to talk to them!

I’d look up someone like NeurodivergentLou on Instagram and find her basic “What is autism?” type posts - explain to them that autism can look very different to different people but common differences/difficulties are around communication, sensory issues and similar. Suggest a few ways in which these issues can manifest in a hair salon. And so on.

Thankyou. Yes I am good with the explaining autism bit (I like neurodivergent Lou. My current favourite is Neurowild!) but I was kind of thinking if there was anything that people found they particularly would have found helpful or wanted their hairdresser to know or they could have done.

Ah, that makes sense. I’m not sure how universal it would be - I avoid going to the hairdresser (haven’t been in 4 years) because the whole environment feels very uncomfortable. Too loud, too much expectation of talking, too much eye contact in the mirror and also a kind of perceived judgement somehow (?) - like I worry they will think very badly of me for letting things get into such a state. I’m not sure my experience is the same as others but I would go to a quiet, early session at a salon for example.

@JustGoClickLikeALightSwitch Yes I compeltley understand all those things! I will be explaining we're all very different but also some common issues people might have and those type of things. I'm hoping that them understanding or just having the basic awareness these things can be tricky will be a first step.

Absolutely agree with the 'too much expectation of talking'. I dread it, and sit there feeling totally inadequate and that the hairdresser must hate having me as their customer, when I can see all the other clients and hairdressers chatting away to each other.

Pay attention to what the parent tells you or requests. There's usually a good reason for their requests.

My ds would be co-operative, albeit uneasy. The most stressful part of the haircut for him was the fringe, which is generally done last. By which time ds would have run out of tolerance. So I always asked them to do the fringe very early on. Not first - give ds time to settle in the chair and get used to the feeling - but definitely not last.

The number of times we left the barbers with an inverse mullet, because ds could no longer cope with the scissors in his face and the feel of the clippings falling on his face! Eventually we found someone who listened to us and did the fringe about 1/3 of the way through. Made such a difference. Ds learned to actually enjoy being at the barber.

I ask my hairdresser not to speak to me more than necessary and tell her I will have my earbuds in. It works for us.

@GazeboLantern I can so picture that. Yes listen to the parent is key isn't it!! (Some schools could do with that advice too!)
@Doggymummar That sounds a fab solution :)

Hating the clippers, we can only go somewhere which will use ✂️ only. (Although at the moment he wants long hair so he doesn't have to go at all) Going from asking a million questions when he first arrives to then looking furious and not talking isnt a reflection on them or hairdressing/barbering just him processing.

But wouldn’t it be great if more hairdressers were knowledgable.

the only way they’ll learn is through experience. If you’ve found someone you like then coaching them would be good for you, them and other future clients

I would want them to say it's fine if you want to chat or want to remain silent, I'll leave it to you to lead any conversation or not.
I know an ND hairdresser who offers mirror-free appointments - she tapes fabric over the mirror on request. It minimises visual input as well as any distress at seeing your own reflection.

I posted about this issue for my DS a while ago .

It ts going well now with a mobile hairdresser who comes to the house. I'm sure that helps.

I think apart from the sensory issues at a barbers or salon with music and hairdryers and clippers etc, the thing he found so hard was that he felt he didn't look like himself afterwards. He would get terribly upset.

He hasn't said this since we started getting it done at home.

The hairdresser now is very good with autistic people but the only thing I can say that she does is she listens to him and talks to him. And often not about the haircut. She asks about his games and his drawings and he chats away ( he loves talking). She's just nice to him but maybe he feels a bit more in control because she seems safer.

She will explain the different types of scissors and stuff.

He also went through a lot of bullying at school and those shaved haircuts at the barbers where everyone seems to come out looking the same used to freak him out by association. He once said he looked like one of them and we hadn't even shaved it because I always asked them to use scissors and not clippers.

Definitely time quicker better for us
Not being judgy about kid having a tablet
noticing if child is getting distressed and speedy things up/ending
letting them have a break if it helps
asking and listening to parents requests

Thankyou @Mumteedum and @whynotmereally yes those are fab tips ❤️.

Ds is autistic and dyspraxic, he has been going to the same barber now for years because she has an autistic son herself and has been so good at getting to know what he needs. Ds doesn’t understand directions, especially when facing a mirror, so ‘tip your head forward’ results in him rolling his head around in every direction while trying to work out what he needs to do.
I am also autistic, and I would tell hairdressers not to massage heads without asking first!

I’m not autistic and don’t have autistic DC but, when I was at the hairdressers last week, I overheard a person making an appointment for their teen DD and said “she’s autistic” and the receptionist said “oh, that’s fine, we have several clients who are” and I sat there and wondered whether that meant that they were really experienced and would ask the client when they came in what their particular needs are or whether they just had a fixed idea of what autism looked like and did some things that they thought would be helpful but that that particular client might not need whilst overlooking other things. In short, ask clients what they individually would like. This salon is huge and they did seem to have a couple of chairs sectioned off with less lighting and no music. When I had walked past it, I wondered why but I realised after this conversation that perhaps it was designed to be an area where there might be less sensory overwhelm

I have always hated seeing myself in the mirror at the hairdressers. I honestly thought I was a freak until reading this thread. I just feel very awkward and want to get out of the situation. Glad there are hairdressers who tape up the mirror.

I think asking parents the dc at the time is a prime one, as we can see everyone differs a bit. Some like it quick. Some slower. Some like to have things explained, my dc just wants them to get on with it.

quiet spaces/timings
hair brushing can be painful
cut hair falling on them can be ticklish and distressing
they may or may not want to talk
clippers yes or no
The brush they use to brush hair off you is a no no for my dc

What a great project, I hope it goes well. I’m neurodivergent so the hairdressers can be a sensory nightmare! From my experience, I’d suggest asking them not to chew gum (I’m getting triggered just thinking about it! 😬) and to check before using scented products. But I’d say the main thing is to ask the parent/client what their particular triggers are because we’re all different. Oh and remind them that it’s not just kids that struggle with this stuff, there are plenty of neurodivergent adults out there too.

I'm glad I started this thread :) You are so NOT a freak!!!

For me as an adult, not in a high foot fall area ao people constantly coming past

Also of they're going to do someone else's hair while mine (ie hair dye) is doing its thing let me know you haven't forgotten me

I hate hairdressers talking to me as I never know what to say, but I feel awkward asking them not to, so I would love them to ask at the beginning if you want a quiet session or a chat and act like it’s completely normal to want quiet. I also only go to hairdressers who have online booking systems as I won’t phone up to book.