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I am in a bad place

7 replies

Parsol · 03/07/2025 10:02

I suspect my mother may have dementia. I live with her. She is doing so many bad and odd things. Like dumping my belongings. That's only one thing. I would have tea or coffee made and she will pick it up and throw that out too. There are just so many odd things and some of the most viliest and oddest temper tantrums that makes no sense. It's honestly extremely stressful.

I was working all of this week and I am in a place where work gives me some respite from home and I am throwing myself into work a lot. I do like work. However the past two weekends has been stressful too in that I was placed 'on call'. As in I was off but I had to be available as a just in case measure and as a back up. So I wasn't able to fully enjoy those weekends it get a full break.

I am really approaching a bad place now. With everything. Work can be ok and there has been some unforseeable circumstances in work and I will now likely have to work this weekend even though it wasn't planned from earlier this week.

However I had some plans made for Saturday. I have a hair appointment booked for Saturday. I had it booked for months and I would really like to still go to that.

I am in a very bad place at home with my mother and her moods are so incredibly intense. We are hosting some family currently and the family are great and independent and they are doing a lot for themselves. However my mother can't cope with them. She is acting in front of them but every time they have their backs turned or they go out, she is giving me earfuls if abuse and shouting and it's all about one of the family members. It's all about her son's wife. Who's a lovely respectful lady. My mother just can't cope with this change. It's my back and my ears and my head that is getting all of this.

I was going to take a bottle of wine into my hair appointment and after that I was going to find a pub for the evening. I know that might sound bad but I don't do that often. It's just I am in a very bad place. It's so so so stressful.

Now work is trying to get a hold of me for becoming live in for the whole weekend.

I am in a place where I really do need to escape from everything.

I see a lot of stuff at home that our visitors don't see. Like everything they go away my mother is snooping in their room. She is also eavedropping on their calls. Its nasty.

OP posts:
Daleksatemyshed · 03/07/2025 11:29

If it's a change in character I'd get your DM medically assessed Op, it can take a while so sooner the better. If it's dementia it does help a bit when you know it's the disease and they can't help it.

Allthatshines1992 · 25/09/2025 22:26

Daleksatemyshed · 03/07/2025 11:29

If it's a change in character I'd get your DM medically assessed Op, it can take a while so sooner the better. If it's dementia it does help a bit when you know it's the disease and they can't help it.

Why does dementia cause this nasty stuff? I think when people get old they just care less and show their true selves

Daleksatemyshed · 26/09/2025 08:48

@Allthatshines1992 dementia is a physical change in the brain, it breaks down people's power of reasoning and erodes things like manners and behaviour. They can't help it, it's a horrible disease

CornishPastyLover · 26/09/2025 09:04

My mum is in the advanced stages of Alzheimer's and it is a very tough journey.

Are you able to have a word with her GP about your fears? If she does have dementia the quicker you can get a diagnosis the better, there are so many things you will need to put in place.

Hopefully, it's not dementia and something a lot more simple and easier to deal with. Good luck OP.

CornishPastyLover · 26/09/2025 09:05

Allthatshines1992 · 25/09/2025 22:26

Why does dementia cause this nasty stuff? I think when people get old they just care less and show their true selves

Dementia often completely changes a person's personality. My husband's uncle was the kindest and sweetest man but ended up breaking his wife's jaw due to his dementia. He would go into fits of rage for no reason at all. Dementia is a wicked and horrible disease.

Allthatshines1992 · 27/09/2025 14:19

CornishPastyLover · 26/09/2025 09:05

Dementia often completely changes a person's personality. My husband's uncle was the kindest and sweetest man but ended up breaking his wife's jaw due to his dementia. He would go into fits of rage for no reason at all. Dementia is a wicked and horrible disease.

That's absolutely shocking and scary. What can even be done with someone like that? How is his wife doing now?

CornishPastyLover · 27/09/2025 14:37

Allthatshines1992 · 27/09/2025 14:19

That's absolutely shocking and scary. What can even be done with someone like that? How is his wife doing now?

He sadly passed away a few years ago.
Nothing can be done about dementia, it is a progressive and evil disease. There really is nothing positive I can say about it.

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