Is he bothered about the kids ?

[Boyzboyz]

I just wanted to know people's thoughts on this. Me and the kids dad have been split for a while now. Hes met someone else. She's spend time with the kids gone out on days etc . Kids like her so all good.

Over the years me and their dad have been flexible with the weekend pattern. For example if there was an event he wants to take them to that falls on my weekend we may swap. Or if he's got an appointment and needs to swap or there's been a couple of times where maybe hes at social thing. I have only ever done it once.

He likes his weekend to to be on the weekend he has so before rather than go a whole month without seeing them . I would have them for his weekend . Then the weekend that would normally be mine we split. Then go back to the normal weeks.

But fir the first time in years . I asked him to swap the week hecsaid yes. I was expecting to do the same pattern as above. But he said no to that so I offered if he wanted them for extra time before we went on holiday. He said no . Then I offered extra time when we got back. Or that he could have them 2 weekend in a row. Or half the weekend . He said no he has plans.

He had them the weekend just gone . Dropped them back and told me he cant have them on his next weekend . Because he has an appointment. He has to have an injection in his eye and can't drive for 48hrs .

I offered him to have them on my weekend so the one coming. Or half the weekend. So the boys are not having big gaps and get to see him. He said maybe he will see how it gos he has alot going on.

Adult ds was just talking to him. ( not his father) and he said in general conversation. I got to get my eye sorted out and im spending that weekend with girlfriend so I wont see the boys for a bit.

I understand about his eye . But he's always OK with it he can't drive for 48hrs so I get its harder. But I was trying to help him see the kids and working around him. Its now 2 visits with a month between them even though I tried to it work out so he could see them before the month.

Am I right in thinking he's putting his new girlfriend before his kids? I don't think its something that's coming from her. Kids seem to like her and seem happy when she's around. I think its something he's choosing to do.

Yes, this is probably what is happening.
My ex is very inconsistent when it comes to his effort with the children depending on his relationship status.
When things are bad or he's split up he's all over them. When he's in a new relationship eh starts to withdraw and booking long weekends/holidays.
We don't share the same values when it comes to this sort of thing. I value consistency and prioritising the children. He is a good dad in a lot of senses, but it's very much on his terms.

Don't raise anything with him now, but see how you get on over the next few weeks. If it's a pattern and you want to raise it then do. But do it when you can prove your point.

Thank you. I thought that to be honest. Im not going to say anything at all . He can get on with it.