Would you have gone out in these circumstances?

[unlikelychump]

My dh and I take turns to go to an evening activity that means leaving at about 1910. It was my turn tonight, and I had to miss the last 2 weeks (so did he), because I was sick once and his mental health was bad the following.

Today I was trying to find out where it wasand if it was even on (it moves around),but i failed so at abou t 1830 I made my peace about not going.
At 1900 dh said he knew where it was and why wasn't it going.
He is now annoyed with me that I didnt go.

It was too short notice for me as I would have had a quick shower and changepack bag, I hadn't done prep for the next day (3 kids). Also I don't like to arrive late.

Dh thinks they are all bad reasons not to go.
What would others have done? Do you go out at short notice?

Quick shower and grab your bag.

Your DH could've prepped for the next day.

What's the hobby that you have to take turns?

I'd have just let him go, you obviously weren't that bothered and no you've missed your turn. It's his next week.

You both need to think about communicating a bit better.

It’s up to you if you do or do not want to go somewhere not your DH. If the timings weren’t right for you then you did what you wanted to do. None of anyone else’s business.

It’s fair enough to decide not to go, but it’s his turn next week, you decided not to go on yours.

Yeah I'd have gone.

I would have just quickly changed, skipped shower till I got back and gone if its something I really want to do.
If its something I'm not bothered about (a self planned run, which I have to force myself to do and look for any excuse to get out of) then I wouldn't have put the extra effort of rushing in, but for something with other people that I enjoy, yeah I'd make the effort to rush

You found out at 7pm and usually leave at 7.10pm so whilst a rush, you could have gone by chucking some clothes on and left kids stuff for your dh or done it when back

I do think its a bit odd your husband is annoyed you didn't go ...its up to you if you go or not, as long as it doesn't affect his go, which I do think is next week since you could have gone this week but choose not to.

Also, once you said you definitely weren't going, he should have just gone.

Why don’t you guys talk to each other, you know, like COMMUNICATE…

So you did go, but you joined online instead of physically being there.
then DH buggered off so you had to leave the online meeting and do kids bedtime yourself?
Id say it’s definitely your turn next week as he prevented you from having your turn, in the way you chose, this week.

I don't think this is last minute.

You knew well, well in advance that it was your turn to go, so therefore it was up to you to make arrangements and to get yourself there at the right time. You had plenty of time to plan that. It was only "last minute" because of your failure to plan and to prepare yourself.

But yes, if I had intended to go, I'd be ready and prepared and would be able to attend at a moment's notice.