Child with SEN had a major meltdown at DC’s school today

[Classroomdisruption]

Child with SEN had a major meltdown at DC’s school today. Last year of primary. Chairs thrown. Tables overturned. A teacher injured as they tried to calm him down.

Class next door to DC. The kid broke away from the teachers and got into the classroom where DC was. Lots of artwork and other things torn off the walls. Equipment thrown. Their teacher told the other children to get under their desks. I asked DC if they can lock the door from the inside, apparently not.

Feel really sorry for the kid who had the meltdown. But the risk of injury is frightening. I anm not overly protective. DC plays a contact sport at a regional level (in Europe, not UK). But this incident crossed the line to violence. Completely messed up a school day.

poor kid who had the meltdown. Poor teachers. Really sad for the other children who were terrified. This is just difficult for everyone.

Where people say the child’s needs were not being met:
How far does this go?
How much time can a teacher dedicate in a large class?
What activities shouldn’t happen?
At what point are the needs of the other children not being met?
What about the pupils who are threatened - should they be doing more to try and prevent meltdowns?

I always made an effort to not exclude SEN children - inviting to birthday parties, inviting their parents when younger, checking if there was anything they needed/to avoid. Speaking to DC about being kind and helpful to children who are struggling in class. But the serious disruption and injury risk is a red line.

Writing this while the incident was fresh so apologies if it comes across harshly.

This is a beautiful school with a lot of large glass windows. It could have been worse

A Year 8 pushed another pupil through a window when I was at school.

I think you can write to the headteacher and/or the governors and outline what was reported to you, ask what will be done to address the impact of what the children witnessed and experienced and ask what is being done to keep your child safe and prevent similar incidents happening in future.

There should be a balance and everyone's needs should be met.

My opinion is that children lashing out so severely need more support. This could be as simple as needing movement breaks built into the day, more details around what's happening, an adult to touch base more often, visual timetables etc right up to requiring a full time 1-1 or a specialist school.

I dislike when the child gets blamed as it's usually a failure of the adults around them to give the right support. That's not to say it's always the teachers or schools fault. Sometimes it is, for example where they don't make reasonable adjustments or follow a child's EHCP (did you say you're in a different country, so you might not have these and things will probably work differently in terms of send support, but an EHCP is a legal plan that sets out what support MUST be given). Other times it's because the education services who schools and parents go to, to get these plans or get additional funding to meet a child's send needs are failing to provide them/it so schools can't afford the support the child needs. Send children are often left to languish, get excluded, be too anxious to attend before appropriate support is given and everyone suffers, them, their peers, staff.

You're 100% right.

It should not be the point.

I have an autistic child, who has had to attend mainstream because no specialist schools would take him without an EHCP. Fab. We got him his EHCP, he was declined a space in specialist. He's meant to be entering year 2 and instead hes going to be kept in Reception... again. For the third year.

We've got mainstream saying they can't meet need. We've got specialists saying they can't meet need. Meanwhile we're playing hot potato with his case, and the LA saying we should keep him in mainstream and want inclusivity for our children.

What about equity? Why can't we have equity in education? Why is it such hard work getting a child with clear needs into a setting that can meet them where they're at?

Equity should be the goal. Not, loosely said inclusivity. Without equity there can be no inclusivity.

This is exactly how I feel.

As adults, we would not be expected to deal with this level of chaos, so why are children?

Why the hell are the school taking his 1:1 away then
His EHCP pays for the 1: 1 the 1:1 wouldn't have a job of the child didn't have an EHCP ,the school can't just decide to use the 1:1_for other things.

A pp wondered why there are more incidences. One reason is in a bid to save money, a lot of preventative measures get thrown out and then it costs Local Authorities a whole lot more when children with SEN can't regulate themselves and it becomes a crisis. That's just the financial cost, not even the emotional, physical and mental cost to the child and those around them. For example, our Local Authority only funds one session a term with Speech and Language, to give a list of activities for school staff to deliver, and yet regular, high quality Speech Therapy helps them communicate and regulate emotions, as well as helping to be more independent - lack of it will mean higher staffing needs, more likely to need intervention etc. It's really a false economy and that's just one type of therapy/intervention that's being skimped on.

Edited to make more sense.

What ‘the child’s needs being met’ means will be specific to that particular child.

There was perhaps an obvious (in hindsight) trigger to their meltdown that could have been avoided, that will be easy to avoid in the future with care and planning.

Lots of children with that level of SEN require a regularly updated plan that outlines all of this and a full-time 1-to-1 to implement it and support them. A lot of the time this makes all the difference and prevents incidents like the one you describe from happening. Everybody’s happier.

If a child has this level of support and still cannot cope well and meltdowns, I believe a specialist setting is the best option for everybody involved.

It's so hard, isn't it? A child in my son's class has had this kind of meltdown on about 3 occasions. So it's beginning to be a regular occurrence. I'm not sure where the line should be drawn. My son even got (very slightly) hurt during one incident.

I work in a SEN school and even when you know the child well, you can't always avoid this type of melt down. We have one child who's home life is so turbulent, it's impossible to know how he'll be from day to day, even hour to hour. One minute he's fine, the next thing someone had bumped into him and he's lashing out and needs restraining.

That said, because we deal with this every day, our staff are used to reacting quickly and using positive handling if necessary.

This is the fault of the school using a funded TA elsewhere in the school. The funding is for the child, not the school to use the TA to cover staff shortages.

And it's about to get worse for both SEND children and those around them in mainstream. Local authorities and central government will be cutting even more from thr SEND budget and getting more SEND children into mainstream schools where they can. That includes those children with EOTAS budgets who are receiving alternative provision.

There isn't enough money at the moment to support children with additional needs and mainstream schools are not set up to offer the appropriate support either.

It's not just the support in schools in either, it's the support for the parents that's lacking. I'm overseas and my son has ASD and likely ADHD. He's 4 and his meltdowns at home towards us have become more violent in the last 3 months. We were lucky we only had a 3 month wait for diagnosis and immediately saw a child psychologist for parent coaching who we continue to see on a regular basis as well as an occupational therapist. My point is in the UK you have to wait such a long time for a diagnosis and even then it's slow to access support. Some kids will have undiagnosed SEN. Alot of my son's behaviour can be minimised with the right tools but early intervention is needed and access to those who can help to support us. He masks at school so we have only had 1 incident at school but his outbursts at home are explosive. We know that if we can keep him regulated we can reduce the outbursts but it's knowing how to do that. There are so many families in the UK struggling without a diagnosis or any access to support.

I was thinking the same thing. We need to look in to the causes here . I don’t think it’s a coincidence sometimes that these children often come from problems in their parents lives. Relationship breakdowns etc

@Hummusandcrisps yes the support for parents is so thin on the ground, it can be really hard to navigate having a child with SEN.

@kerstina I would imagine having a child with disabilities and severe SEN makes it a lot more likely a marriage will fail/couple will separate. It’s certainly put strain and pressure on ours over time.

But then you have another child who needs 1:1 and their TA has called in sick or left

so do you try and keep both children in school?
or pick one?
or juggle to the best of your abilities?

should a child who could break an adults wrist be in mainstream even with a TA?

these are not easy questions and with tens of thousands vacant TA posts clearly full support is becoming thinner on the ground

you could say ok you have been given this TA they are your child’s and they won’t be assigned to anyone else - but if they leave your child can’t be in school until we fill that post. Is that the answer?

Because there are a finite number of trained professionals who can advise and help families and increasing number of families who need bespoke help

creating incentives for people to train in these areas is art of the solution but that will take years so little use for children in the system now

That's not what the school were doing by all accounts ,they were using the paid for TA whenever they felt like it for other activities that's how i read it
But tbh it's irrelevant , the TA is employed to be the child's 1:1 they only have a job becsuse they are the child's 1:1 so the school can't just decide to use the TA however they see fit .

If a child is having to be restrained or has violent outbursts it should be included in their EHCP where a school will say they can either meet their needs or not. If they say they can then they have to put appropriate strategies in place to say how they will.be supporting this child.

Thr problem with 1:1 TAs is that they are being used elsewhere in schools as floating staff to cover other children who need extra help but don't have 1:1 named in their EHCP or no EHCP or to cover staff absences. This is not what they are for.

It is usual in many schools where 1:1 has been named to have a back up member of staff in cases of absence. It certainly is in special schools. The problem with mainstream is, as I've already mentioned, they are not set up to deal with many SEND children as the OP demonstrates.

There needs to be far more special schools for children with needs that cannot be met in mainstream. This is not to separate or 'other' these children but to ensure that everyone's needs can be met appropriately. Not all DC with SEN will need a special school- my eldest DS has ASC and a mild learning disability and coped very well in mainstream with a little extra support. But not all DC can.

My younger DS was similar to this child but in secondary rather than primary. In primary he was 'just' anxious and sensitive and would flee rather than hurt anyone. In secondary he could become aggressive because he could not cope in a mainstream classroom. He was very academically capable but completely dysregulated. He was passed around mainstream schools and nobody could meet his needs and he was very challenging. By 15 he was in a pupil referral unit because he didn't meet the criteria for a special needs school but mainstream couldn't handle him. He left school with no GCSEs. It was embarrassing and difficult- when he was 13-14 it was a miracle if we made it to lunchtime without being called to come and collect him. Our other DS had SEN needs but did not meltdown like he did. We had no idea what we were doing wrong and we were genuinely concerned for our other DC's safety at times and me and DH even considered separating so one could look after DS and the other look after the other DC. We knew he was very difficult to manage and at times, intimidating. I'll always remember the time we arrived at school and he'd reduced a teacher to tears. I felt so guilty. But we begged for help which did not come- CAMHS discharged him because he refused to speak to them, specialists dismissed him because he has a high IQ.

He's an adult now and massively improved and works in a SEN school supporting children with complex needs, primarily ASC and learning disabilities. He loves it and says that he wishes he was in a special school as a kid. There is a focus on regulation and life skills with small classes and adults that understand the child behind the complex behaviour. Yes, his curriculum wouldn't have been as rigorous as in mainstream. But he left school with no GCSEs anyway.

Agreed but it all costs £££££,s
My son is severely autistic and has severe learning disabilities, he's been in a special school since reception he's in year 10 now it's a great school but for obvious reasons wouldn't be appropriate for more academically able children who can't manage in mainstream it's these children that are mainly falling through the gaps.

TAs are difficult to recruit and retain

So perhaps if the school can no longer offer full time 1:1 this needs to be considered going forward as it’s summer holidays soon so it can be discussed if the child’s support needs can be met going forward.

And yes perhaps the needs have increased as the child gets older - which may make it increasingly difficult to remain full time in a mainstream class.

Schools can’t provide support they can’t put in place and parents need to accept that until they can it’s an unsuitable setting.

What else to do?

In primary it seems much worse than when our youngster left just 3 years ago, he has to years left and is in a secondary that has SEN rooms where pupils who are unable to remain in a class can go, which seems to work, there is very little disruption in his classes.

This is what the Government are proposing. This will not be a good move for SEND children, mainstream schools, teachers, parents...in fact, anyone.

I agree. There's definitely an 'in between' where children don't seem to belong in mainstream but have no chance of special school either.

As you know, I'm very happy with my son's mainstream primary school and he is capable academically but at the same time, he does need a lot of support for his physical needs and I hope that support can continue as he gets to high school age.

I agree ww have been on several threads together from what I understand your son should absolutely be accommodated in mainstream his disabilities are due to his illness and treatment in an ideal world there would be a perfect place for all kids but we don't live in an ideal world hopefully in your sons case wherever he goes to for high school they can continue to accommodate his needs