Child with SEN had a major meltdown at DC’s school today

[Classroomdisruption]

Child with SEN had a major meltdown at DC’s school today. Last year of primary. Chairs thrown. Tables overturned. A teacher injured as they tried to calm him down.

Class next door to DC. The kid broke away from the teachers and got into the classroom where DC was. Lots of artwork and other things torn off the walls. Equipment thrown. Their teacher told the other children to get under their desks. I asked DC if they can lock the door from the inside, apparently not.

Feel really sorry for the kid who had the meltdown. But the risk of injury is frightening. I anm not overly protective. DC plays a contact sport at a regional level (in Europe, not UK). But this incident crossed the line to violence. Completely messed up a school day.

poor kid who had the meltdown. Poor teachers. Really sad for the other children who were terrified. This is just difficult for everyone.

That must have been incredibly frightening and distressing for all of those involved and clearly highlights the lack of SEN provision, funding and understanding. I bet the little boy mid meltdown was also terrified. Im not condoning it but I wish everyone could approach this with a bit more of a compassionate viewpoint.
As a mum of a 4 year old with ASD & suspected ADHD i cannot describe to you how incredibly difficult it is parenting a child like mine and do not underestimate how mortified the parents will be, & know that they are likely doing everything they can to try to stop this happening again. My son has been in a mainstream private preschool since September. And overall it's been a great success, lots of progress largely thanks to the small class sizes (15 kids - 2 teachers & 1 assistant), being an inclusive school with very experienced staff. We have had 1 incident in the year and fairly recently where my son kicked an assistant, tried to pull his teachers hair and tried to scratch them on the same day. As a parent I was mortified. I'm always on egg shells, always worried about what the day brings, always trying to keep my son regulated as much as possible at home to diminish any undesirable behaviour in school. We had a meeting with his teachers and we agreed to meet with the school psychologist, identify triggers and work on what we could at home, and thankfully that worked and so far it has been an isolated incident. We have been attending parenting coaching classes (outside of school) once a fortnight to develop better strategies for parenting our son, as well as occupational therapy. We are overseas and lucky that there is plenty of support available. But i do agree that the whole education system in the UK needs an overhaul to accommodate the rising number of SEN kids. All kids, parents and teachers are being let down. Having experienced all the problems my son experienced in his previous school- 30 kids, teachers without SEN training - I've seen firsthand how much the right school environment can make all the difference.

There's 3 in my town. None of which would be suitable for my own disabled son.

One is for autism and the other two require a diagnosis of global developmental delay.

He doesn't have meltdowns, any learning disabilities or behavioural issues but because he is quite severely physically disabled, he has a EHCP and 2:1 TA support.

I'm very happy with him in mainstream education which is probably a good thing since it seems like there wouldn't be a local alternative for him.

That could have been my child having the meltdown. He is 17. Mostly he has shutdowns but sometimes, when he is extremely distressed, he will have a meltdown where he will either lie on the floor, screaming and thrashing or he will stay standing and kick furniture. He has never injured anyone but that is more chance than anything else.

He has no diagnosis (apart from hypermobility), no ehcp, no pip, virtually no help at all. Various people have written reports about him but no support has been forthcoming. I can't remember the terminology but he gets the lowest level of SEN support at college, always has done since he was on "school action" in reception.

He was on DLA from when he was 5 months old until he was 10 but then it stopped suddenly at renewal even though his needs hadn't changed. We went to tribunal but lost.

Camhs assessed him aged 12 when he took an overdose but closed his case because he couldn't engage with them.

He is meant to be having an operation soon and I worry he is going to have one of his screaming meltdowns but again my concerns have not been listened to.

I read about this kind of thing all the time on mumsnet and people say it shouldn't be allowed, should be in special school etc but what are we as parents supposed to do?

That's not how SEN schools work in my county. The schools cater to a fixed need. So across the school your need is eg LAN / ASD SLD etc. Small classes of 7-8 and we are viable because your funding is not 4k per head. One child leaves there's 25 waiting to take that place. We dont just lump SEN kids into one size fits all SEN schools.

The classes can not get bigger either. Because then what your doing stops working. In my ten years plus of experience the need the places only ever increases. So the bar gets higher to get in. Yet neither can we cope with violent disruptive children. Children in SEN schools as so vulnerable.

From a SEN perspective I see the bright SEN mainstream kids who meltdownn frequently manged out to plus then fall out of education. That's not good for society when they hit 18. It kicks the can down the road

There are a lot of factors that are already known, Need. In part, numbers haven't risen as much as a member of the general public might first think - in past times kids with these sorts of behaviours were in institutions, special schools or managed separately in school or even managed out in some way (or allowed to truant). So they may have been having meltdowns somewhere, but it wasn't in a classroom with other mainstream school kids. Out of sight, out of mind. But the proportion of kids may also be growing. Things like older fathers and kids who were born very prematurely are both known risk factors which have increased in the last 30+ years.

I suspect that one contributor is that classrooms in general are less suitable for all children, and so they are all more stressed, and the ones who have the least coping skills, for any reason, can't manage.

Also, more children used to be kept home and in truth I don't think that was always a bad thing.

Honestly, I’m not sure what other options might work. They all cost money (whether that be additional TAs, having a SEN unit within a mainstream school, adapted classrooms separate from the others with lower student levels and a different approach to learning) and it seems like no LA is willing to give a penny more than they already do.

Agree that diagnosis doesn’t equal a need for dedicated SEN school provision; these should definitely be reserved for the most in need. It’s a very difficult issue to solve without infinite money to do so. I suspect that many people (especially those with kids being injured, scared or harassed at school) wouldn’t support an increased cost to them to fund this.

Agree.
There was a child who frequently threw chairs and the like in my son's class, along with a couple of other disruptive SEN kids. Nobody got a decent chance in that class when that was happening.

Seriously?
You think parents of other children don't deserve some sort of explanation and plan going forward? They're victims.

One violent outburst is more than enough. 🫣

Why especially that child?
The other children were possibly just as terrified.

We have incidents like this occasionally and there is never any comms from school about it. Which I find weird. Teacher was attacked and pushed to the floor in front of the whole class last week, which my child found distressing - they like their teacher!

Violence in schools is not acceptable. It’s not acceptable that children witnessed this had to hide under tables for safety and a teacher got hurt. It’s not okay that children were in danger, it doesn’t matter is the violent person is a child or adult, SEN or no SEN. I hope the school address this properly, and the children are not exposed to something like this again.

So sorry your DC had this horrible experience. It is scary for the children if it seems like the teachers don't have a handle on the situation - it sounds like this incident got out of control.

Have worked in a PRU and this wasn't an unusual occurrence. Our protocol was immediate removal of all other children from the room and containing the young person until they were able to regulate themselves. De-escalation techniques applied and waiting it out basically.

I would hope that following this incident, the school will be looking again at their risk assessment and putting measures in place to support the child and make sure it doesn't happen again. The child should not have been able to access your child's classroom during the incident.

Money will fix it and it does. For the parents that can take their local authority to court of appeals.

Funding specialist education, catering to need is exactly what is missing in this situation for a child that’s stuck in the mainstream system

Over 50 years ago, in primary school we had a boy who was obviously SEN in our class. He couldn't cope with school work at all but he was a gentle soul who just went his own way and was pretty much ignored by the teachers. A few boys I think teased him. I always thought it was pointless him being there as he never learned anything. Perhaps it was a break for his mother though. And he was never allowed to interrupt lessons. I often wonder what happened to him and remember his name to this day. This was an era in which many people with SEN were institutionalised so I suspect his mother had made the choice to keep him with her.

This is the only reason we have chosen private school.

90% of children are being failed with inclusion.

In Scotland some primary schools have a learning centre attached for those with varying disabilities. The aim if possible is to integrate the child into mainstream classes, this will look different for each child. Children still follow the curriculum where possible and have their own care plan. This works really well for my grandson who has had his share of meltdowns and needs a lot of support.

This kind of attitude towards special schools really angers me. Special schools are amazing places - no there are not enough of them and yes there should be many more that offer a calmer more specilaised environment for academically able children. But children are not carted off to them, they are not lesser schools and they are not holding pens for disabled children. They are thriving, nurturing, accommodating environments where at last disabled children can be themselves and get the education they need and parents can relax a little knowing their child is understood.

What age group are we talking about?
I don’t blame the dcs for being frightened. I recently witnessed a child having a meltdown which got me really rattled and I have been working in schools for many years and dealt with a lot of SEN. I can understand children feeling afraid. Things are getting worse and I don’t know why.

Council rot is obscene.

Its also worrying that there is NO performance review process in any of the children services.

But teachers and pupils can't keep getting injured either.

That is quite shocking @elliejjtiny that your son doesn't have a diagnosis because he couldn't engage. It sounds like he is very obviously autistic and not being able to engage with services shouldn't surprise anyone. Shocking that evidence from you and his teachers and the fact he can't engage, shutsdown/meltsdown isn't enough to get him a diagnosis of ASD.

I would definitely consider pushing for a diagnosis again using the reports that have been written, any video evidence of his behaviour that you can get and writing all the evidence down that you can that suggests ASD - research as much as you can.

I can't believe how shit all that you have written is - make a huge fuss. If he melts down at the hospital see if you can tell them that you believe he is undiagnosed ASD and really need help but CAHMs have been useless and stopped his assessment because he couldn't engage. Maybe they can help get him seen by the right people to get a diagnosis.

We had such an easy road to diagnosis with a brilliant NHS paediatrician who diagnosed DS in 45 minutes. I really hope you get some understanding and support.

@JSMill final year of primary. Younger children also impacted as the child went through the school, including into the sports hall and other class.

Really scary. It could have been worse. Lots of big glass windows, etc.

Whichever catchment area you live in, there will always be children with adverse childhood experiences, trauma, attachment needs, vulnerability and SEN. You are naive if you drop your kids at any school not knowing this.

And the children there, including in this situation, were kept safe and protected by the adults by being directed to under their desks. Other times the teacher response might be to evacuate the room to keep everyone safe (rather than hide under desks) and let the dysregulated child regain themselves with support of a familiar adult and without an audience. The space would be reset to near normal before the others return. The evacuated children often don't even realise because they end up with extra play time or a story with a neighbouring class, or continue their learning in the hall/outside e.g. and those that do would be offered support which would be communicated with parents. "This thing happened today, we dealt with it and are engaging with the child's family, your child has extra support in the format of xyz." The teacher will have had support as well in all likelihood.

You are very lucky (or privileged) to have not had the same experience as some of these dysregulated children.