What's the weirdest thing you've heard about a neighbour?

[CircusofPuffins]

Meant as a bit of a light-hearted thread, and wondering whether anyone can top this?

So, the other day my mum told me something odd about someone who lives nearby and I can't stop thinking about it. Technically this person isn't a direct neighbour, but he owns a small piece of land very close to my mum's house, so he's a neighbour of sorts, I suppose?

Anyway, there's a river that runs at the bottom of my mum's garden. Lately she's been using the Merlin app on her phone and she was excited that it had detected a kingfisher. I was doubtful about this, as I didn't think there were even any fish in that section of river, due to past pollution.

However, my mum said that she'd spoken to the man who owns this land - let's call him David - who, apparently after the village suffered bad flooding in 2019, found a dead fish - and has kept it in his freezer ever since! Apparently, this is proof that there are, in fact, fish in the river and that the kingfisher recording was accurate. 😂

All I could think was that keeping a dead fish in your freezer for six years has to be up there as some of the...umm...most eccentric behaviour I've ever heard of. But has anyone else ever heard anything about a neighbour that has made you reconsider everything you ever knew about them?

A kingfisher is a bird though and they don't always live near water. I know that is not the point of this but that is all I can think of sorry!

Weirdest rumour here was about myself actually that I was having an affair with a married man. He was my very own husband and we were newlyweds when we moved in but yeah I was having an illicit affair with the man I was married to. I am a brazen hussy clearly.

My just along the road neighbour is one of those always watching septuagenarian doo gooders.

If its windy, she's straight into folks gardens tidying away kids toys to stop them blowing away.

Police car in the street and its straight on FB.

House on fire which resulted in a fatality, straight on FB before the Police had tracked down family.

Stands in the garden singing opera.

She has weird spider senses that tell her a neighbour is about to open their door and she's there to chat within seconds.

Abandoned bikes/balls/washing/random shit in the street get squirrelled away in her back garden and it appears on FB 'anyone lost a thing, come to number #93'. This includes the kids friends bikes left propped up against the fence for 5 minutes 🤣.

Cats are risking 'being rescued' by just thinking about venturing into her (obviously) immaculate garden. 'Anyone recognise this cat, look like a stray'.

She's a total flipping batshit menace.

My downstairs neighbours used to run a “massage parlour”. The sort that was open til midnight, not the sort you go to for a spa day. Ironically, this was at the same time as my office was above a BDSM dungeon with working dominatrixes.

It was rumoured that the previous occupant of the council flat I moved into as a newly single parent of a baby, was a lady of the night.

Never met her so couldn't comment but they had a lot to say about absolutely nothing, round there.

A woman in our town was sadly murdered and a man arrested. my neighbour (who I rarely spoke to) mentioned it and told me she was worried because she knew the guy and had helped him dump some carpet near where the body was found. I told her she needed to tell the police she seemed surprised as if speaking to the police hadn’t occurred to her

Lady who lives 2 doors up from me is a massive wildlife fan, she feeds over 100 pigeons that appear at 8am and again at 5pm, she's had court orders etc to stop but just carries on, when spoken to about ( sick of having to pick food up before I let my dog out) she claims she doesn't feed them, they are just drawn to her garden, about 5 of us have had cats go missing, only to see them at her living room window, spoke to her again, she claims they just walk in.and are drawn to her house. When asked to shoo them out she claims that that wouldn't be fair as they like her house! She once came round to complain that she had seen my son walking our dog and that he would let her give scraps to my dog even though he explained that we don't give him table scraps the woman is bat shit crazy!

I had a neighbour a few doors down who would dance naked in her garden when she was drunk, which was often as she was an alcoholic. I used to work with her years ago too, so we know each other.

Recently my mum met her in a social setting, someone asked my mum about me and this woman realised who she was, my mum. My mum thought she was lovely, and mentioned her to me. She was shocked when I told her she was ‘that’ neighbour. I feel bad for mentioning it as they are firm friends now. She’s a recovering alcoholic now, so very much changed.

A freind who lived close told me all about the brothel that was on my road which turned out to be me and my house. One neighbour phoned the police about me.

My former neighbour has long rants on Nextdoor, followed by sessions sitting in the garden alternately singing and weeping.

When that happened I knew I was going to get nasty emails from her the next afternoon. Hangovers made her a vicious bitch.