TW - sexual consent

[SpringSephora]

Sorry if this is upsetting. On several occasions in my adult life, I have said no to consenting to sexual intercourse. The men involved have then badgered, nagged, begged, persuaded, etc. until it has become 'easier' to give in than continue to say no. I know this is a boundaries issue on my part and take full responsibility for that. Obviously, as I eventually consented, it would never be classed as an assault. I'm not sure if I should feel upset or what, really. Can anyone help me sort my feelings out?

Coerced consent is not consent.

Consent in and of itself is something that needs to be enthusiastically and freely given.

By badgering you, nagging and persuading, your consent was not freely given, it was coerced.

I’m sorry you’ve dealt with that. Do not ever blame yourself. We are programmed to protect ourselves from perceived danger. Even if that danger isn’t explicitly threatened. A lot of the time, coerced consent is given because we are worried about what might happen if we don’t concede.
The only people at fault here are the men who coerced you.

Thank you so much for reading and clarifying. I felt like I was stupid and gave in too easily out of some weird duty or misguided in-built politeness. It has played on my mind for years.

Sweetheart, you did nothing wrong.
You did what you felt was your only option to protect yourself - even if you didn’t feel explicitly threatened or in danger.
I think a lot of us have felt that way at some point in time - I know I have.
Just because those men weren’t violent or didn’t physically force themselves on you, they are still shit for coercing you.