“100k isn’t a big salary”

[cadburyegg]

I’ve just logged onto instagram and YET AGAIN a post comes up headed “100k isn’t a big salary, here’s why”. I’m so sick of seeing it. Most of us earn nowhere near 100k. I don’t spend my time moaning on instagram about how hard done by I am and there aren’t news articles about it. I don’t even feel like I AM hard done by. I feel lucky to be earning less than half that and to have a reasonable flexible job. I’m not going to the press saying poor me poor me because I don’t feel sorry for myself. Yet there seems to be shitloads of “awareness” posts about how shit it is for high earners and how it’s so sad they don’t have free childcare. I know people can have high expenses and I know it’s all relative and I’m probably overreacting but I seriously do not care anymore. It doesn’t mean the salary isn’t high. I’m so sick of seeing these out of touch posts. 🤯

If you go in with that attitude you are not going to go anywhere. You could make the effort to change this up so you start to feel good about yourself. I refuse to believe that you are ugly and you need to start having confidence in yourself

If you're clearly as brilliant a candidate as you deem you are, it's most odd that every single competent, intelligent, experienced employer looking for someone like you is unable to see that.

Like you say, it's definitely not down to you. Someone else had better hair.

In what way is that telling?

Do you seriously believe that everyone who can't progress is inept or incompetent?

That is literally not true.

I work in a highly competitive industry. I’m also (self confessed) overweight and have had a deeply unpleasant conversation about a medical issue that causes excess sweating in every job I’ve ever had.

My salary has quadrupled in the last 5 years. Because I’m good at what I do, and can prove it in my work.

Don’t make excuses where there aren’t any.

Some people are indeed ugly.

I think rather than (incorrectly) telling everyone "no, you're not ugly," would it not be more productive and inclusive to build a culture of understanding towards ugly people, and to encourage employers to be more accepting of differences in appearance?

I hired someone last week who failed two separate interviews at my work. They aren't high paid jobs, but the principle is identical.

She ended up doing some volunteering at my work instead, and demonstrated she was very capable at the task in hand.

In interviews she was abrupt, sour faced, had terrible answers to the questions, a shite CV. Weirdly when she handed over said CV, she was incredibly smug, as if it was amazing and I'd barely need to interview her after seeing such finery.

If it wasn't for her volunteering, she'd never, ever been employed. Not because she'd got her foot in the door. But because she interviewed horribly and her CV was nowhere near as impressive as she obviously assumed, compared to others. She went straight in the "no" pile immediately.

She's only been doing the job 3 days and someone's made a comment about her not being that nice to work with though, which is marvellous.

Is she attractive? Haven't even thought about it.

It's generally the case, yes. People who don't have the ability don't get the job.

Not consistently anyway.

You cannot continue to blame your lack of progression in your career on everyone else. It’s down to you to change it. Get rid of the pity party and do something about it. Why should they give you a job out of pity?

I think this is fabulous (not your medical issue!) but the fact you haven’t let anything stop you from achieving. My second well done you in this thread. 👏

@HopscotchBanana She ended up doing some volunteering at my work instead, and demonstrated she was very capable at the task in hand.

I have put myself forward for voluntary work many, many times. The offer has never been accepted because that requires other people to do a little bit of work too, and everyone just wants to take the path of least resistance.

In interviews she was abrupt, sour faced, had terrible answers to the questions, a shite CV.

I'm not abrupt because I rarely speak, I always prepare answers beforehand (STAR method), and my CV must be OK because I regularly get interviews (but obviously, never an interview for a colossal £100k salary, which is unthinkable as that would be Director level and above).

Sounds like you are in the civil service?

@nouht Sounds like you are in the civil service?

No, private sector.

Someone has to be pretty shocking in my place of work to not be taken on as a volunteer.

For a company to decline for you to do their work for free, it's not because it's "effort" for them. Or are you trying to insert yourself in companies who don't have a volunteer programme, so of course they aren't going to take you.

If you've never even got to the interview stage of a £100k job, then you can't blame that on being ugly.

I’m not doubting unfairness exists, unless you are very lucky it affects everyone at some time - it’s your reaction to it that will mark you out. Over and over I see successful people get rejected - lose their job, not get the promotion they wanted but it’s their self belief, flexibility, resilience and of course connections built up over the years, that powers them on to further success.
You say you don’t speak much, that might be holding you back, relationships are a big part of many jobs.
If you live in an area with only one employer that suits your interest and skill set and you’ve failed to get promoted there and can’t move location to a different employer that will also hold you back.
Blaming everyone else for your lack of success will get you nowhere.

My kids school did an exercise with them - they picked a job out of a hat, each job had a salary attached and the kids had to work out a budget. They discussed with the class their job and their lifestyle. Many were horrified that they couldn’t afford a holiday😂. It was a sobering lesson about how important a job with a good salary is and they should chose their careers wisely if having the comforts associated with a high salary was important to them.
By contrast (before the internet) my careers teacher refused to supply salary info to us when we were applying to uni - he thought we should choose a career we liked and passively accept the salary.
I think kids need to have their eyes open - some people stumble into well paid careers, many don’t.
I hope something changes for you and you get the job you have worked towards.

@HopscotchBanana For a company to decline for you to do their work for free, it's not because it's "effort" for them. Or are you trying to insert yourself in companies who don't have a volunteer programme, so of course they aren't going to take you.

I'm saying I've put myself forward to do voluntary work for other managers and other departments to build experience and a breadth of knowledge regarding the employer. This type of voluntary work also requires a little bit of legwork from the managers at those departments, so often they will turn it down. It's more complicated than just asking everyone if you can work for free.

If you've never even got to the interview stage of a £100k job, then you can't blame that on being ugly.

You're being obtuse now, and comments like this suggest a lack of contact with reality. Obviously, I can't go directly to a £100k job (as I said previously, those are generally company director level positions and higher). There are a lot of stepping stones that I would need to climb up to to get there (a £100k position would be about 3 levels higher than where I currently am).

So if I interview for one of those stepping stones and I am rejected, then indeed I can blame that on factors including being ugly.

OMFG.

So you're nowhere near being able to even apply for one of these jobs anyway.

Fucking hell

Must be your outfit....

@nouht It was a sobering lesson about how important a job with a good salary is and they should chose their careers wisely if having the comforts associated with a high salary was important to them.

Picking a career with a good salary is not possible because it's not predictable.

• Salary variability within careers is far greater than salary variability between careers. My profession is known as a well-paying profession, but I probably lie on the slightly lower end of the scale due to circumstances that I couldn't control. In contrast, there are people who take unconventional career pathways and become well-paid.
• The personal circumstances of individuals will influence where they work and who they work for.
• Unpredictable career events will impact salaries, such as certain vacancies being available or not being available, or being bullied.
• Salaries for careers will vary according to demand, which decreases and increases unpredictably.

I think in reality senior management don’t care what people look like, as long as they can effectively complete the requirements of their job (+some if they’re looking for promotion).

I have genuinely never considered someone’s physical attraction in my hiring or promoting decision making. Firstly, because it’s objective, and secondly because you could look like Worzel Gummidge for all I care, as long as you’re doing the job I pay you for.

I’m not on £100k either, FYI, but it’s not because my boss thinks I’m ugly (?!?) it’s because there’s one spot that pays that salary in my business, and he’s in it.

Your attitude is what holds you back, but I doubt you will ever want to face that - easier to blame other people. Good luck to you.

Stop being so ridiculous

@DipsyDee Stop being so ridiculous

Please quote the part of that comment that is "so ridiculous."

@nouht Your attitude is what holds you back

How so? I am not applying for a job on mumsnet.

Well to be truthful all of it. I think it’s your attitude that is holding you back. I know that’s unpalatable to hear but unless you try to change that you won’t get anywhere.

You seem to think that because we don’t have a mortgage we live for free. There are many more bills than just housing costs.