Mindfulness versus doing nothing in the olden days

[Platypusdiver]

Before smart phones, if we had nothing to do, we did nothing. Maybe read a book/newspaper or idle chat. But often we did literally nothing during many parts of the day.

I was wondering if we were getting the benefits of mindfulness just through everyday life. Or alternatively now, our brains are constantly working because we have unlimited distractions, and this is causing alot of mental health issues.

If I am not careful, my entire day is filled by distractions. Listening to podcasts when getting ready and driving to work, scrolling when waiting, reading the internet instead of even watching TV.

Yep!

I purposely do things in silence like washing the dishes or cleaning the bathroom. I observe people on the train or look out of the window. 95% of people on the train are generally gawping at phones.

Our brains need time to process and distill our thoughts, reactions, feelings, ideas, memories etc. That used to happen organically, while having to do boring tasks or walk to the bank or wait for the bus or hang around your house chronically bored on a Sunday night. The person in the video was saying now our brains don't get that chance to just think about stuff, let it slowly work things out or piece things together, and it's having a terrible impact on mental health.

Thanks! I believe this too.

I’ve found myself turning the radio off in the car now. I seem to want peace and quiet, whereas previously I’d be singing along.

If you're watching me on my commute, it's because I've been doing the same journey for nearly 20 years. I know where the pretty/interesting bits are without even looking up (often by the feel of the tracks), so I'll look up just as we go past that field with cows, or the interesting graveyard, or the house with a pony in the garden. Most of the journey is very boring through cuttings.

Pre-smartphone I read a book, or more likely one of the awful free papers.

Try Radio 4 😃

Definitely this. Scrolling standing a supermarket queue, walking from a to b, headphones in a cover lesson at school where they need to just get on with work, my DD has her headphones on when tidying her room or baking. There's never a moment for some people where they just idle their thoughts or observe the world without another layer of input. As a teacher of teens I am100% convinced this is a contributing factor in the rise of anxiety and loss of attention span that we see now both at that age and in older people who do it.

I didn't do nothing! I read a lot more, did crafts, concentrated better on films and tv, listened to the radio or cds, did crosswords and sudokus in newspapers and books, played card games, maybe even more housework, (though I was never that committed).

I agree though that a smartphone is a huge distraction and I find it easier to 'scroll' over getting on with other stuff.

Mindfulness for me is to get fully immersed in something - gardening, jigsaws, country walk. I still do all those things.

I made a conscious decision about a year ago to get back to reading more. I never stopped but it was mostly only at bedtime and not for long but I started choosing to read instead of scroll and Ive read 26 books this year so far. I feel so much happier, like I've accomplished something. Children are teens now so need me less and I can settle down for a chunk of time knowing I'm unlikely to be needed for a while (I mean, they WANT me to get up and serve them like a maid, I just don't). 🤣

Yes that's right. Planning took longer too, as shops shut for lunch, banks were almost never open because they were keeping manual ledgers and data entry, cheques really did take 3 days:)

There was no fast fashion and cheap socks.

No one did nothing. There wasn't time. How people scoffed at needing more than a couple of TV channels.

I am 75 and I think the thing that is always forgotten now is how much people danced. My mother worked full time, did the shopping by bus, made all our clothes and did the washing by hand. She also went out dancing twice a week.
I was a ballet dancer so hopeless at dancing with a partner, but dances were where you met people, got lots of exercise and had the music in your head then and afterwards. If you watch films of the Home Front during the war, you can see how essential it was to people's lives.
i spend quite a lot of time online and reading my Kindle: gardening is my joy and my refuge. Mindfulness with flowers and vegetables. 😂

No, I'm not. I travel off-peak, so lots of families and randoms going out for the day.

Yes, i agree with this. I remember walking to the post office as a child with my mum to collect the child benefit. So that would have been 45 minutes walk there, 10 minutes in the post office, we'd probably call in to a few other shops and walk home. Now it's all paid straight into a bank account. There was definitely more to do.

seems strange - there was more downtime

people had fewer tools and machines but they also had essentially lower standards - no one showered every day , although we had moved away form the once a week bath when I grew up. Clothes were washed weekly big thrown in the laundry after one wear

and this is the bit I think people are missing - walking to the shops is downtime - it’s less stressful than driving - requires les brain power

ni ine was driving around rushing form work to collect the kids from school because even the primary kids walked home by themselves - even if mum wasn’t working

and no one did anything but cook the dinner on a Sunday ( perhaps go to church )

Sundays were always busy in our house. It was when my mother entertained friends and family, so lots of time cooking and preparing teas - meringues with cream, trifle, Victoria sponge, egg and cress sanwiches, sausage rolls etc etc. My disabled father did some gardening and we finished our homework and helped get ready for the working week.

That’s impressive! Maybe I should take the plunge too. I think I’ve been musing about starting with childhood favourites.

About walking/ buses- I put on a stone when I got my car. All that walking to and fro to the bus made a big difference!

That is such a wonderful reminiscence, @HilaryThorpe. I’m in my early 60s and most of the photos of my parents dressed up were related to their going out to dances - before I was born.

I do feel lucky to have been born in the sweet spot between the advent of helpful household technology - washing machines and fridges and freezers and central heating made life easier for everyone - and the deadening impact of the Internet. I spent my childhood summers out on my bike all day with my friends, winter evenings curled up beside the radiator with a book. As teens we certainly spent plenty of time on the phone - sitting on the stairs in the hallway; so no, or very much less, opportunity for the sort of sustained bullying mobiles make possible. Life isn’t nearly as relaxed nowadays …

People do seem to spend their entire lives on mobiles, tablets etc these days, guess that’s what I’m doing now, back in the pre internet times definitely didn’t do nothing when not watching tv, we talked, read, went for walks, did jobs around the house etc, pretty sure we were happier and less stressed

I hated Sundays as a child and especially as a teenager.

Sundays were entirely driven by my mother's idea of how to Sunday properly - we had to be up and dressed with pet related chores done by 8am for breakfast together before walking together to 9:30 church, where we had to stand by the door handing out the hymn books.

After church we had to "help" cook Sunday lunch, which my mother micro managed and got incredibly stressed about, and inevitably served much later than she'd announced it would be, despite it only being our household - woe betide any child / teen lazing around while she was cooking as we should be helping and were given a dressing down for our ungratefulness (once when I was 12 I used the Mrs Beaton cookbook and cooked the roast chicken, roast potatoes and vegetables by myself perfectly successfully and on time, and although my mother proported to be impressed, she wouldn't let me do ot again because I'd used the experiment as a way to stay home and avoid church...).

After lunch we children washed up while my parents "had a rest with a cup of coffee" - despite the fact my father was not involved in the cooking circus and it was unclear what he was resting from. Then we were all packed into the car and driven to a "scenic" location a good hour's drive away (not always the same place) feeling slightly sick due to full stomach plus bendy roads and being squashed together in the back of the car (less nauseating for my parents in the front presumably...). We'd then spend two hours "blowing the cobwebs away" (this phrase was always used, at least three times by a parent) walking at a very slow pace before being packed back into the car and driven the hour home for the sacred ritual of "Sunday tea" which was the only meal of the week eaten in the living room in front of the TV - it was compulsory to watch the family series shown at teatime (The Borrowers, The Railway Children, that kind of thing) before being sent in reverse age order up for a bath, down for hair drying and then to bed - as the oldest I got cold, grey water in return for the latest bedtime.

The only time I got to myself on a Sunday was while my sisters were in the bath, when I could read but wasn't allowed to turn the TV over or off until 'Songs of Praise' finished.

I remember Sundays as always being overcast and semi dark, though they can't always have been. My mother thought this was how to be a good parent/ woman on a Sunday and put a lot of effort in and got herself very stressed when we weren't grateful, but honestly it was quite shit.

On Saturdays however we children were completely ignored unless we were making noise or mess in the house, and I mainly remember being outside. This was infinitely preferable as long as I could scoot out before being made responsible for my younger siblings 😝

Oh, @TabbyCatInAPoolofSunshine - you poor thing! . My childhood Sundays followed much the same pattern - but without any of that habitual tension or stress. We did have more restful mornings - tea and toast surrounded by newspapers, sitting on the floor in my parents’ bedroom, radio 4 on in the background. It was heavenly.

Only occasionally went to church. There was a brief period of Sunday School but it petered out and I went back to a leisurely morning. I was always chased into the kitchen to help with lunch prep, but I never minded much as my parents were both interesting and entertaining so I enjoyed their company. And I was hugely grateful when I went up to uni, as I’d absorbed all their cooking skills without any conscious effort.

Definitely a trip out after lunch! National Trust flavour, usually. Back for homework and ironing and yes, A Little Princess on TV. And then home made apple pie and Bird's custard. Obviously there must have been quarrels and crying and slamming of doors - but all I really remember now is the gentle predictability of those days.

"People do seem to spend their entire lives on mobiles, tablets etc these days"

Given that you can be accessing basically anything on your device at any time, this doesn't really mean anything. People could be looking at anything. I don't consider it a problem that I read books and articles on interest on my device all the time, its exactly what I did pre internet, I just have more choice now. If you saw me sitting in a restaurant looking at my phone, would you judge me, whereas if I was reading a paperback you wouldn't? Yet I am doing exactly that same thing. I used to get a physical newspaper delivered and read it every morning. Now I get the same paper on my phone. Nothing wrong with that.

No one is stopping from still living that way if you so wish.

I agree, it seems there is less resilience in people nowadays.

Another thing I'd do is listen, and sing along, endlessly to the album Facades, thank you for reminding me of it 😍

So go back and live like that if it's so wonderful - nobody is stopping you.

In my experience of the olden days people were less quick to bitch at other people for no reason.

True, they just did it behind people’s backs and looks and whispers.