Infertility Struggling

[QuirkyAquaKoala]

Hi,

I'm not really writing for responses, I just need to get this off my chest somewhere no one knows me.

I'm really struggling mentally right now we've been trying for a baby for so long and it's just not happening, my husband tries to understand but I don't think he really does. His response is usually it's going to work out and if it doesn't blood doesn't make a family and there are other options. (Which of course is true but it doesn't stop me feeling like I've failed because my body doesn't do what I'm literally on this earth to do)

I've tried talking to my mum but she isn't good at emotions and just says why am I getting upset about it, I should be grateful for what I have.

Am I just being over emotional? Is it normal to feel like my life has no purpose because I'm in my thirties and everyone just sees me as the "spare aunt" or "the one with the dogs"

Thank you for listening if you got this far x

firstly im sorry you are going through this, I am too and its a very lonely place to be 💐🩷

Have you been to your GP for tests? Has hubby had a semen analysis to check his sperm? 50% of couples going through infertility its the men so try not to beat yourself up and take all the burden on yourself.

If you are in the UK you can be referred for testing after 1 year of trying.

Sorry if you have already had tests done but thats the best place to start 🩷

We had all the tests done at the start of the year including early menopause as I'm not getting regular periods, but the next available appointment for them to tell us the results is October and the appointment has already been moved once so I'm not holding much hope.

It is a very lonely place, I hope you are doing well and I hope it happens for you soon. 🩷

argh they are such a pain with getting things moving. if you are in UK you should be able to access your results from your blood tests so you can see if you are lacking in anything and may need to take some vitamins to help kick-start your cycles to be a bit more regular? mine are slowly getting a bit more consistent.

our fertility clinic hasnt been helpful at all, keep saying we should just go to IVF ICSI due to male factor infertility rather than actually investigating why his parameters are so low 😔 I really do feel for you.

Hopefully your appointment later in the year makes things a bit clearer. In the meantime is there a way you can start to try and get healthy as possible? We have to get our BMI down to under 30 before they'll even put us down for IVF so thats what we are focusing on so we are ready. We have one round on the NHS if we are approved.

thank you lovely, its such a sad lonely place to be isnt it. I try and be numb to it now but sometimes have a good cry to myself. It's a sort of grief you can't really explain to people. 💐 sending you big hugs. we will get our miracles some day, just wish we had a crystal ball to tell us when so we dont have to think about it so much 🩷

I'm so sorry, it's such an awful place to be. So hard to talk about it to anyone, so hard to see everyone else building their families. You ask "is it normal" to feel like this, and my honest answer would be yes. Unfortunately it didn't happen for me and I will never be "over it", but like most grief you learn to get through it. Many best wishes for a positive outcome for you.