Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Would therapy fix this

1 reply

missingouts · 27/06/2025 10:09

I gave birth last year 4 weeks early 1st baby so I assumed I was likely to come late and if early not 4 weeks early. Husband is self employed and had wound down his diary for when baby was due but not for 4 weeks prior to my due date. This caused me to be home alone with a new born from day one. He was coming home in between appointments but there wasn’t much of a gap. He feels so much guilt for not being able to be around and I still feel really upset by my post birth experience. I was really unwell caught an infection and had family who where useless at helping all my friends had husbands at home for weeks. My husband job was at an extremely busy time and he had booked in all the last minute stuff to be done had he moved or cancelled anything we would of lost out on half a years earnings which we couldn’t afford. I’ve spent the past 10 months going over how we could have done things differently and we couldn’t have he had to work and that’s that. The only thing we would do next time is employ some help for a few hours a week to help me post birth if the same happened. My post birth experience was horrible and I’m wondering would therapy help me get over this I also had a terrible birth but that I can deal with as it was out of my control. My husband and I have discussed it a few times but he feels awful and like he had no choice as finances are tight and we needed the money and couldn’t cancel clients at the very end of a long road for them.

OP posts:
QueenoftheTambourine · 27/06/2025 10:16

Therapy would only try to get you to understand why you're so retrospectively struggling with something you say yourself couldn't have been handled differently, and what's really going on here for you -- do you feel unappreciated in your relationship? Did you have difficulty bonding with your baby? Might you have lingering trauma from a bad birth? (Just as examples.)

I think it's less a matter of 'fixing' this, or 'getting over it' than figuring out what exactly is causing you ongoing discomfort about this, and feeling it.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page