Body Insecurity and lonely

[SwanS0ng]

lately I’ve been feeling particularly self conscious. I think it’s a mix of being exhausted with both work and then childcare, on top of my disability and feeling lonely. I look in the mirror and I just feel so insecure about parts of my body. I’ve got a mum tum, stretch marks, cellulite etc. I’ve been single now for 3 years, and I do miss that connection but with work and son, just don’t have the time to date. Even friends I had have moved away or drifted apart. Sorry for the depressing post, just felt like I needed to vent a bit haha.

Sorry you’ve been feeling down. Go gently on your body, it did a truely amazing thing by growing and delivering your lovely son. It takes time to recover from that… both in healing time but also in having enough time in your life to do something about it.

My kids are slightly older than yours and it’s only in the last 6 months I’ve had the space to think about diet and exercise in the way Id like to because they are more independent.

Being a mum is so full on! Is there a small thing you can do that’s manageable to help you feel a bit more like yourself? A bit of me time?

Thank you SparklingMetre, that’s very kind fo you. I fully agree that our bodies are amazing, and I do feel proud that I gave birth to my wonderful son. He’s 11 now, but I think evern though it was 11 years ago my body was never the same again (first world problems I know).

do you mind if I ask what changes you’ve started to make now you have more independence? I am dieting via a calorie deficit which is working, it’s less about my weight and more I look deflated haha. Like a flabby bum.

i don’r at the moment, at least nothing I can think of, do you have any suggestions? X

Yes exactly the same, my eldest is now 14 and honestly it’s only been recently I’ve felt like I’ve had the head space to start looking after myself as more of a priority.

So, for me, I’m working on having more low processed food (but of course not always- too much pressure!) and it seems to be making a difference to my tummy. I think I was over eating carbs, so now I’ve cut those back quite a bit and I don’t really miss them.

I’ve been following a guy on Facebook reels ‘tonic health’ and he literally says what to buy in the supermarket to eat well, easy swaps, and I’m finding it much easier to understand than general principles.

Plus I’ve started doing some weights at home, bought a pack and follow random videos on YouTube tube. It’s fun and I always feel better after.

small steps is best I think, maybe look at one area to have a bit of a focus on and get that habit going then find another little one?

Yeah I get what you mean. Do you mind if I ask if your pregnancies were smooth?

ah that sounds great! Have you noticed any improvements in yourself or your mood since starting with the weights and less processed food? I do go jogging with some friends, usually at least once a week, does make me feel good

I think a part of my issue is perimenopause and all the hormones and emotions that come with it. Without grossing everyone out with the tmi, I miss having intimacy in my life, and I just don’t think realistically I will have that anytime soon

Aw, it’s ok and completly normal to miss the closeness for sure. Would online dating be an option? Have you tried it before? Sometimes seeing a massage therapist to have that human touch can help to feel a bit better.

Yes pregnancies were smooth but my first was 10lb 3oz (I’m only 5’4”) so my poor tummy couldn’t quite meet the demand. I had to have emergency section so I’ve got the shelf from that too. Sigh. But I have noticed feeling brighter in myself with the weights and the food choices. I think it’s because I know I’m caring for myself rather than ignoring my own needs which I’ve done for so long. I’ve noticed that my face isn’t quite a puffy too so I’m not hating seeing myself in a video call as much either. Gosh we’re tough on ourselves!

I haven’t tried online dating yet, I am a bit intimidated about where to start or if I’m too okd for it haha. I’ve never actually had a massage before, that might be nice

aw bless you! That’s one big baby! I agree, we can be hard on ourselves too much at times, it’s hard to get out of that mindset being mums. Aw I’m really glad to hear that you are feeling better in yourself and seeing improvements! That made me smile

Def not too old, my mum met my step dad on OLD. It’s a bit of a numbers game and you need to have a well tuned red flag filter but there are some real gems if you’re feeling brave. Maybe get yourself feeling a bit stronger and then give it a whirl. I can tell from your writing style that you’re very kind and have so much to give so they would be lucky to meet you!!