I've becoming incredibly antisocial lately. I have zero time or interest in anyone! What's happening to me?!

[ReallyMiserableFucker]

NC just in case 😂

I've always been a home-bird and preferred my own company. But until recently I've been nonplussed about social events, being comfortable chatting to people, shown interest in them etc.

But recently, I just want to stay at home with DP and not talk to anyone. I'm not at all anxious about anything social. I just don't want to do it.

I just find socialising mind-numbing and frustrating. I just don't care about other people's lives. And I'm increasingly struggling to even feign it anymore 😅

I was due to get my hair cut next week but I've cancelled because I can't face a couple of hours to chatter. I'm off out with friends tonight and I'm already making my exit plans.

Does this just happen? Is this just it now?

I'm 39. I'm not menopausal.

Your peri- menopausal!

I had blood tests recently and FSH and Estradiol were normal. Periods are normal. Sleep is normal. Mood is normal [apart from becoming an antisocial fuckhead]

Ignore the blood tests, hormones fluctuate so much it’s normal for peri menopause to not show on them.
it does sound like first steps into peri menopause. Over the next couple of years get ready to welcome irrational rage and massive anxiety. Along with physical symptoms including aching all the time, itchy legs and waking up constantly throughout the night. I ended up on HRT at 45 to combat the symptoms. Best thing I’ve ever done!

@shedroof What joy 😂

Embrace the not caring and putting yourself first

I find it liberating

No longer giving any fucks is one of the first signs of peri I reckon. Shortly followed by giving so many fucks you are perpetually enraged by anything and everything and everybody. 😂

Might just be general life overload. We are constantly on the go always switched on, work, home, kids, social media, news etc. My social battery is pretty depleted at the end of the day I mostly just want to be left alone in peace and quiet.

I feel exactly the same OP. I used to be able to pretend to be interested/sociable, now I massively struggle to do even that. I simply don't want to do things and love nothing more than cancelled plans.

Im assuming it's peri, although SIL and I are the same age and she's got a new lease of life since her DC grew up and is always out and about. It's literally one of my worst nightmares. When things cant be avoided I always drive so I can scoot home whenever I choose, and I deliberately meet people rather than having them round to the house so im in control of when the evening ends.

+1 for peri.

It's a strange time. I'm even winding down a very successful business (not my main one) because I just can't be arsed with the grief. Burn out & overwhlem definitely coming much easier in my mid 40s.

I am the same these days OP and lately I really hate answering the door to the postman or deliveries, going the counter at the village shop or chemist or even bumping into people we know when walking the dog that want to stop & chit chat. I just can't bear small talk anymore , I just dread it and it feels awkward somehow. I used to be fine with it as working in hospitality I'd be chatting away through every shift it was part of the job I enjoyed but now I'm retired I just want everyone to leave me the F alone 😊

😂😂 I know! But as PP have said, the suddenly not giving a flying fuck what people think is massively liberating… I’m loving that bit! 😆

🙌 yes this exactly! 😆😆

look up Just Being Melani
on facebook. I often feel like this.

It is genuinely fab, isn't it?

I sometimes wonder if this is a reaction to people feeling able to be more open and instead of saying “I’m fine thanks very much” when asked how they are, and as they would have done fifty years or so ago, it often feels like people need something from you all of the time, Or maybe they don’t, but we feel obliged to be a sensitive, good listener with endless patience and there are massive expectations on women especially to “give” or “facilitate” all of the time and be empathetic.

And along the same lines, maybe it’s a reaction to people being more self-centred? Just thinking about the last four conversations that I have had with people, all of them, except the very last, consisted of people talking all about themselves and their problems, and in two of those, people talking over me when I tried to get a word in edgeways. It doesn’t exactly make you want to get out there and socialise!

Last theory is that perhaps we have had enough of other people’s input if we are on-line and viewing even cursorily, all of the people demanding that we eat perfectly, exercise perfectly, dress perfectly fly, wear make-up perfectly, renovate our homes perfectly. It’s a constant noise if you allow it to be. So it’s calming, and a huge privilege, to be able to close the front door behind ourselves and just be silent for a while and be our real selves without any outside pressures.

Edited: thought of one more; parenting sucks up a lot of your emotional and physical energy and often means that you don’t have a lot of bandwidth left over for anyone else. I found this to be particularly the case when my dc were teens.