I used to live in the same city as one of my oldest friends for almost a decade. She’s not had the easiest life and there were often dramas we went through, but because we were only 20 or so minutes walk away we stayed v close throughout.
I moved away when I had twins a few years go (so 3 dc now) and she has also moved out somewhere in another direction with her dc. We are now approx 2 hours drive.
She is absolutely useless at replying to messages. She just doesn’t read them, esp when stressed, won’t answer calls etc. she is continuing to have a hard time with family / health but I’m at a total loss as to how she expects me to support her (and she does seem to expect it) when I can’t physically meet for a drink or go for a quick walk like we used to for her to talk it out. She doesn’t seem to understand that either the way we communicate and talk has to change (and she needs to accept replying to messages) or our friendship changes.
she has got v angry at me recently as another friend of ours knew some stuff which had gone on with me but she didn’t. However she hadn’t replied to any of my previous messages, but my other friend had, so we’d then met up (as we’re closer distance wise). And my old friend was furious she hadn’t been invited.
but it is unreasonable to say - you get out what you put in. I can’t forever be worried about someone who lives so far away and won’t rely to my calls or messages. She obviously needs the geographical proximity which I can’t give her, so she needs to accept things will change, and she can’t be angry at me for getting my support elsewhere?