Public toilets and "the rules"

[Pebbles16]

Not a TAAT I hope, but I have been truly amazed by some people on another thread who would absolutely refuse to use a public toilet for a poo (and not just public, but also work and other spaces)

Disclaimer: as a person with very limited bowel control, a RADAR key and a card that I try to use as little as possible, when I need to go, I need to go.

However, for many people, I would have thought that "relieving yourself" when you feel the need is normal, and a healthy response is to visit a toilet. It is not some shameful social faux pas.

Perhaps some people can time it all perfectly (a nirvana that I cannot imagine); but surely they must be a small percentage such as us who "cannot wait".

Holding it all in cannot be healthy - would it be like not going for a wee and getting a UTI?

So, as a conversation starter: is doing a poo in a loo anywhere that isn't your house a complete no no?

Two threads about this tonight 🤔

You go when you need to go! People who are so self conscious about this are potentially causing themselves longer term problems.

nobody cares, do what you need to do. Obviously being at home is better, just like I prefer my own bed but that’s not going to stop me going away. Live your life op, and use that key and card as much as you need to without concern.

I usually only need to go when I’m at home (unless I’m away for a few days). No idea why. I can be fine all day and then need to go urgently almost as soon as I get home.

I can be in pooed, wiped and out in about a minute so it really draws no attention to myself. Dh takes forever to poo and leaves the toilet smelling like there’s a sewage leak so I understand why he holds it in until he can use his own loo.

Though as a ps I was quite careful in India not to need to use a toilet away from our hotels, they vary way too much though dh did venture at the services and said they were fine. Luckily hot weather means dehydration so 6 hours wasn’t an issue for me and unlike most people it seems, no issues with the other, I eat 60% Indian food at home which probably helped

I agree that holding it in is a stupid irresponsible thing to do. I have to go when I get the urge and in the event the loo isn’t very clean I have some paper seat covers that are totally flushable.

Yeah…..it’s a shit life………🤪

I guess it's good for people to hold it in as it leaves the loos freed up for people like you.

I wouldn't go outside of the home in an ideal world. But I wouldn't hold it in. I just am lucky that I usually just have the one BM a day on waking up.

I used to go more when I was younger so had to use the pub one or something. Or the one at work occasionally.

If it's enclosed and nobody can hear you it's fine. As long as there's ventilation and a air freshener!

Well said. I 'prefer' to go at home where I can take my time, no one judging me, I know what toilet paper, soap, cleaning stuff there is etc, but if I need to go I go. I certainly have been in public toilets, work etc - I don't have a regular time really so it's unavoidable sometimes. And surely people trying to hold it in just fart more, so it's no more considerate?

I'd say public toilets are preferable to work toilets in a way, as any disapproving fellow toilet users don't know me so I don't care if they are disgusted/ giggling behind my back. (Like little children who can't deal with normal bodily functions or cope with any unpleasant smell ever, even for the presumably seconds they then need to be in the toilet for since they never do anything other than wee in there!)

Unfortunately both my kids struggle with constipation at times, and I'm sure attitudes like some in this thread make it worse. It's noticeable that if dd has been away with school or scouts she'll need to spend a LONG time on the toilet when she gets home. She's clearly avoiding going in public. I do think attitudes in school probably are part of what causes a problem for a lot of people.

My kids' issues have made me less self conscious though because when ds was very little and taking medication for constipation, he'd be really explosive when he did go. I'll never forget the volume of the noise he made in the toilets at a zoo once, I kept having to avoid the woman who was on there the same time as us afterwards as I was mortified! Better that he got it out though. Nothing toilet related has ever seemed so embarrassing since...

Holding a poo in can cause health problems. Ironically, one of those is a loss of control because your muscles dont work properly anymore!

Plus, is it not uncomfortable?

I think I have IBS or something. I often need to go at work and there is no way I can hold it. I try to be discreet though eg make sure no one has to hear it etc. by using one of the quieter toilets. I think people only ever go in those for a poo so it's always a bit awkward walking in/ out when someone else is. 🤣

@SoScarletItWas The first one wasn't. It was about travelling culture shock. Mine is about this because I was so surprised that so much of the travel thread was taken up by it. HTH 🤔

Yeah if I need to go, I go.
It would be painful not to.
If I can hold off without discomfort then I do, but then that's not a desperate need to go.

Hope THIS helps.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/5361248-pooing-in-public-loos-yes-or-no

If I need to go, I go. No matter where I am. Think people who won't are strange tbh.

Obviously I'd rather not.. but having had stomach issues recently I've realised if I want to leave the house there's a risk I'm going to have to poop in public 🙃 but why do people always end up rattling the door trying to get in as soon as you sit down? 😭