How do you move on from difficult events.

[topcat2014]

I'm wondering how people move on from difficult events or disappointments?

For context more serious than a small bump in the car, but not bereavement or divorce

I'm struggling with it, and it's taking any joy out of life.

I know I have things to be grateful for.. but that makes me feel worse

'I know I have things to be grateful for.. but that makes me feel worse'

Rather than forcing yourself to 'move on', sit with the difficult feelings. Try to identify them - anger? Shame? Sadness? Etc. Try to really feel them and allow them in. Let them out - cry, rage, do what you feel you need to (safely). The feelings need to be felt, and running from them or trying to hide them really won't help you. It will take time but it's the start of healing

What @Lottapianos said. Sit with the feelings.

I agree with the above poster.
I don't think it's helpful when we say to ourselves that there are people who are worse off therefore we should be grateful. It minimilises our feelings and emotions. That's why it makes you feel worse.
Acknowledge your emotions. Let them be. Accept them. Feel them. Allow them. Don't push them away.
Talk about how you're feeling, to a friend, to a trusted family member, or to someone from a supportive charity or talk to a paid professional. Contact your GP surgery and ask if there are local talking therapies available. For example, in our area we have 'Time to talk' which is a GP referal 12 week course of talking therapy.
Talking things through will help you move through this.

I have recently had something happen, I’m desperately trying not to dwell on it. I spent the weekend chatting to DH and a friend about it. I talked about it rather too much, the incident had shaken me up. It’s good to talk it out but I was aware that by rehashing the events it was poking the beast. I am distracting myself by being busy.

What PPs said. Sometimes you’ve got to allow yourself the time to wallow in it - let yourself feel whatever comes up, without judgement or censoring yourself. Journalling is good - write as if no one will ever see it and burn it afterwards if you want so you can write in total freedom. When you feel things, they pass. If you get tied up in thoughts like, ‘should I feel this? Is it right? Do I have it as bad as other people?’ - your feelings get stuck and will keep whirring round inside you.

Go through the motions a bit, one foot in front of the other, do some nice small things for yourself. Acknowledge the feelings and let time pass.

Thank you all x