Do I tell him I’m pregnant or say nothing?

[TickettoMajorca]

I’ve been seeing this man for about 2 months. Old flame. He was my first ‘love’ as a school girl and I’ve always thought about him. When he got back in touch, I couldn’t help but beam with happiness! Obviously just the thrill of it all and not based on anything sensible.

He got me pregnant on the first night. I am heartbroken. I know, should’ve used condoms etc, but due to a coil, I didn’t know dates. Scan from today puts me at 8 weeks so must’ve been the first meet that this has happened

Found out a week ago and booked in with a private scan company. Regret that for the fluffy, blue and pink themes stuff with purchase options like ‘your baby’s heartbeat’ in a bear etc

I have had a call back from British Pregnancy Advisory and I’m booked in for a consultation on Thursday over the phone. Just have to send today’s scan report otherwise they’ll need to scan me again

Do I tell him? He’s an atheist, does that make a difference? Silly question. I know that only answers a moral, religious side.

I know this abortion is the right choice. I have a 6 year old son with non verbal autism, that needs a lot of care. I’ve only been seeing him for a couple of weeks and he’s never met my son of course.

My heart is aching at the thought of a baby Brian growing right now. So clever and loving books like his/her daddy. The thought of him supporting me through a pregnancy. His hand on my bump. The thought of him with a baby on his chest in a maternity unit and making him a daddy.

I am being ridiculously daft. In over my head and a fool!

I don’t need a baby. My son and me are off on holiday with my sister to help. I’ll be getting some respite and enjoying life

I have recently made the garden perfect for my son. Above ground pool, loads of play things like trampoline, slide, sand station

A baby would ruin it all. I don’t want my son’s perfect bubble popped by a baby he didn’t ask for.

Do I need counselling? And am I being unfair to not tell him I was ever pregnant? I feel like telling him and IF he asked about keeping it would have me so emotionally screwed.

I am 27. So is he.

I was widowed because of drink driving at 25. I probably need emotional support and that’s why I am so ridiculously silly about keeping a baby nobody needs or wants.

But oh how I imagine this baby would be :(

Just to clarify, I have changed the name of him! For obvious reasons

Gently, I think you need to work out how you feel about it first. From your post you vacillate between not wanting the baby because of the situation with your son and the timing not being good, but then thinking about being in a committed relationship and raising a family with this guy. Work out how you feel about it all first - it sounds like you and your sister are close, can you have an honest chat with her about all of the permutations of the situation to try and determine what it truly is that you want to do? Then once you know, it’s up to you whether you tell him or not - personally I would tell him as he has a right to know (in my eyes) but he doesn’t have a right to tell you what to do. If he’s as nice a guy as you say he is then hopefully he will support whatever decision you make. Good luck.

Thank you

The reality is that it simply doesn’t matter how I feel. It needs to be done.

I haven’t told my sister, she’s suffered horrendously through infertility for years

But ‘it needs to be done’ is a feeling, that is how you feel. In which case I would find a good friend I could confide in if it would be too insensitive to broach with your sister, just so that you have someone who can offer you a bit of support and a shoulder to cry on if needed. As I say, I would tell him, but be very clear about the decision you have made. I hope he is understanding and kind.

If you're sure about having a termination then I wouldn't tell him. What good would it do?

Thank you. Feel a bit crappy about not at least telling him his balls work!

But I suppose there’s no point telling him really