Lost my shit

[blandana]

This is just a thread for venting when your precious darlings press your buttons and make you (temporarily) lose your shit.

I’ve just lost it because:

no one cleaned the table before we sat down to dinner and it was covered in crap from last night

their table manners were so bad, shovelling food in like feral animals

they started clearing plates up and got up without asking while I was still eating

they have tried to go back to screens instead of helping with washing up and clearing away

I’ve switched off the WiFi and they are not getting it back

Fuck screens and screen addiction (yes I’m aware I’m on one now)

HOW do they make a person so damn angry?!!

Winning @blandana!!!!

Ours have changed at bedtime now that I insist on remotes and phones being left at my dressing table. Bedtime is so much better. Ours are 17 and 18. Brilliant people. And also little horrors. Elder is suffering from a hangover and is exhausted post A Levels.

My mum was like this. I kind of admire it really. My SIL is also very military with her kids to the point I'm not sure having fun is allowed 😬.

I must admit I'm a very relaxed parent. Basic Manners are very important and insisted upon, and there are rules, but I tend not to be too fussed about strict table etiquette. Just basics : no screens, must eat what they're given. I'll probably enforce washing up etc in a couple of years but at the moment I pick my battles. They're good kids. I don't want unnecessary stress all round to be honest.

By all means have a rant. We're all human and lose our shit occasionally. I'd probably pick your battles sometimes though.

I’ve lost my shit tonight.

Asked DD to walk the dog while I popped to the supermarket. She didn’t walk the dog, lied telling me she did take him out, dog had an accident next to the front door which I stood in on the way back in the house, had to clean that up and then take the dog out. DS raided the shopping for crisps, put those away but left the rest of the shopping sitting out. Finally started cooking dinner at 9.00 - DD left her full plate on a low coffee table where the dog ate her dinner, cue a call to the vet because the meal wasn’t dog friendly and splitting my meal with DD. I’m now just waiting for an epic case of the shits from the dog. Went to load the dishwasher to find it still full because DS didn’t unload it when I asked him too.

Yes, I lost my shit, they’ve both been sent off to bed with a good telling off. Tomorrow is another day.

I lost my shit with DS17 yesterday. His room is a tip, and he has started to move into a different bedroom and made that an absolute tip as well. He's not inherently lazy, but I had asked for his room to be tidied three times across a fortnight and he said it was. I can't abide being lied to. 15 minutes later I heard him plugging in the vac.

I don’t think asking for basic manners is like a military operation.We ate at the table every night and had some of our best family conversations. The children would always ask if they could leave the table if they had finished . I recently went to Iceland on holiday and was told that if you go to someone’s house for dinner it is expected you will leave your phone in a basket at the door .

@mumofoneAlonebutokay

I guess you have a lot of omelettes and scrambled eggs in your house?

Yes because that's good manners.

@Jellycatspyjamas it would take me a few hours to calm down from that level of teenage fuckwittery,

It's not a military operation. It's basic manners to ask to leave the table when you're finished, and bring your plate and cutlery to the kitchen. Then you bugger off quietly and don't bother people who are still eating. Children of three are capable of this.

If you want teens who treat you with respect, you need to establish who's in charge early on.

I appreciate the solidarity - I’m much better at dealing with the “big” things than the cumulative impact of a dozen silly choices.

My four year old is obsessed with the hosepipe as well. DH lets him; I don’t. Pisses me right off!

I think you need to chill tbh… some of these are OTT. First you weren’t happy table wasn’t clear (surprised it’s the first time you noticed!) but then you’re annoyed they start clearing it rather than sit twiddling thumbs watching you…

Lying about taking the dog out is bad but the rest of these are minor. You overreacted to the other stuff as you were already wound up

I just did this with my dogs. Let them outside to do their business and it's like a game with them. One woofs at nothing and the other goes apeshit. It's driving me (and probably my neighbours) insane.

Yes it’s entirely possible I over reacted, but the knock on effect of each small thing meant a very late meal for everyone and me being on the go from 6 in the morning til 10 at night along with me rearranging my day for a vets visit this morning. As I said, the big things I deal with very well but the cumulative effect of lots of interconnected small things tipped me over the edge.

Ooo my kind of thread
I lost it at DD this morning. She still gets universal school meals (Y1) but refuses to eat them so gets a packed lunch alongside her pre school aged brother. Last week she asked for different lunches as it was generally the same each day. So this morning I did something different for her then telling me she didn't like what I made. I may have then told her that in September she was going back to school lunches along with her brother who starts reception because I didn't care any more. She told me she'd starve all day then... Yep crack on then kid.

For a time I wondered if she had Arfid. I don't think she does but is incredibly fussy (think whole food groups refused) so meal planning each week is extremely hard as it is. Lunches are generally the same as to not stretch my brain any further.

@Jellycatspyjamasthat’s exactly what it is, it’s not necessarily a single thing that riles you, it’s a series of irritations and repetitions building up till you finally snap.

it wasn’t just the table, or the leaving early, it was the attitude and the lack of respect, when they know how we normally behave at such times.

This isn’t about judging individual family codes and etiquettes, it’s just about losing it as a parent which we all do sometimes, don’t we??

DH has manflu. I have a cold. He's been telling me constantly about his sufferings but didn't ask me once how I was. It ended with him telling me he thought I was better because I didn't tell him I had a cold so he didn't need to ask.

@Chocolateorange22 I understand your frustration with school meals. I can’t wait for DS to start secondary school in September so I don’t have to worry about ruddy packed lunch any more.

I certainly do - I get the meal time thing, it’s like they’ve forgotten how you’ve done things every night since they’ve been old enough to sit at a table.

Honestly, I think ive been so focused on making her feel safe with mummy that ive not seen that its time for discipline tbh

Like, I tell her 'no' and when she hears me coming she runs off looking guilty (😭😅) but the second my back is turned, she goes and does it again!

Honestly, I felt so pissed off. Plus it was boiling hot, just a mare

I've got some ice in the freezer, shes been kind of uninterested in it tbh

But shes also 😭 learned to get an ice pole out of the freezer and use the scissors to open them, from watching me! Its insane here, she thinks shes the boss!

I'm not sure what she thinks shes doing with them either 😭 she just cracks them into a pot, im wondering whether she planned to start cooking them!

I could try, ive never done that before. I'll also grab some tomy eggs from argos, thanks @gamerchick and @thatsawhopperthatlemon

I also had got her some plastic eggs that separate randomly, after Easter from Tesco, which she LOVED but has lost most of the pieces

Thanks @Cantwaituntiltheyareover I didn't know that 😭 - I could've frozen them but they went into the bin, along with the remains of my sanity

😄 they were from the monthly bulk shop, but I love to bake and we do like eggs

Dd loves a shakshuka

Sorry but you take your 17 & 18 year olds phone and remote off them at night. If I read that right your 18 year old is allowed to the pub but not allowed their to remote at night. Mind boggling