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Original poster

Add him to birth certificate ?

26 replies

Nestegg222 · 22/06/2025 22:30

Dd has recently started seeing her father. She's coming up 15. They have not had any form of contact. Until 6 weeks ago. He and dd want him added to her birth certificate and to have her surname double barrel.

I feel like its to soon. But am I putting my issues onto them. Or do I have a point.

Im not going to explain why they didn't have contact as him or me can't change that.

OP posts:
Original poster
Nestegg222 · 23/06/2025 00:00

Sayithowiseeit · 22/06/2025 23:41

Is her Dad the type who may have spun a lie to DD and is intended on having DD live with him and essentially "take" her from you.

Because that is the only reason I can see why he would be pushing it so much. As as it stands, you could call the police and have her returned. Wheras if he is on the birth certificate, they will say its a civil matter and youd have to take it to court and given her age, you wouldn't get far. If this is what he's doing, then your refusal could give him a chance to "prove" how difficult etc you are.

I think your best bet is to find a middle path. Rather than messing around with thr birth certificate, suggest deed-poll for the double barrelled surname. Suggest this only to your daughter and get her reaction and then see what happens. You'll be able to see dad's influence on her after she's told him.

Although double barrelling is still a bit of a blow, and yes its too quick after 6 weeks. Its meeting in the middle and if something does go wrong its easy to change back. There's no real NEED for him to suddenly be on the birth certificate.

Also, why has he been talking to her about money? That's a bit odd. Im wondering if he's trying to spin a lie about why he hasn't paid CMS or has paid only a small amount? Possibly turning this into "your mum takes so much of my money and I only get £600"

I have never had a penny from him. So it can't be that. The deed pole seems like a good idea. I will suggest that.

I don't think he would be planning on dd living with him. His wife it struggling with the situation. I won't rule it out though.

I guess I will have to be the bad guy for a while its to important.

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