Would you want to be friends with someone who

[Wouldthisbotheryoutoo]

can be fun you do like overall however always wants their own way
for example of you don’t want to go to the restaurant they want to go to they will cancel
if it’s a takeaway they are overly dominate on what to order how much, and where from

say you listening to music at their house, they pick all the songs then skip them half way through into the next so even if your enjoying it, and say you are, they then skip them and put the next song on

and just outtings etc they just want to go to places they want
and can be flake occasionally too
although not all the time
but also expects quite alot of support

Yes and no……if you enjoy their company overall then yes I think you accept flaws in personalities and oversee them….but it shouldn’t permit shitty/negative behaviour.
I guess yes but they wouldn’t be a close/best friend - friendship is a two way street with a bit of give and take, there’s got to be something in it for you also.

Of course not. You’ve painted the picture of a horrendous person who sounds like a narcissist bully so can’t imagine anyone will say they would like them as a friend.

Care to explain who this person is and give some context?

Sorry OP, but your post is incredibly difficult to follow what you are trying to say? I 'think' you are describing someone who sounds controlling?

No, I would be backing off as they sound painful to be around.

No, they sound like a selfish pain in the neck. I'd avoid them.

Which one are you in this scenario?

There would have to be something very very special about them to be friends and put up with half that crap.

No I wouldn't.

No because friendship should include compromise

No

Yes I do find her behaviour controlling

bit I also care about her and she can be fun

but it’s the lack of consideration I’m struggling with the most

I mean if your not going to come out unless we go to the restaurant you want to go to, it just seems extreme to me

I’ve tried to distance and back off, but she’s also quite demanding and needy in some ways
in a bad relationship and only has her child had the time so when she’s not got her child she gets v low
and wants supporting

I could never be friends with someone who would put a click-baity title on Mumsnet.

I'd know they were like that and accept it as I'm a bit flakey myself. I have friends who are a bit bossy too. I don't mean to be unreliable but I do have quite a few issues.

So I'm pretty understanding about friends and their foibles. I'd kind of go along with it or just politely decline.

I’ve tired backing off, being busy, not being avabaljbe not replying for a few days
trying to create space and distance

then I get why are you being off with me, why haven’t I heard from you or seen you in ages

and yes I could say about how you didn’t even want to go out unless we went to the only one place you wanted and I suggested many, yes I could explain that
but if I really need to explain to a grown adult how to show someone basic consideration
why should i

why do I even need to go there

like you know that saying, if you have to tell someone to help carry bricks, they are not the one too build with

kinda makes me think of that

if I’ve gotta tell you to give me basic consideration
your not for me

but I then I think
well is it me
am I expecting too much maybe it’s not as bad as I think it is

Sounds like you're friends with my sister! And no I don't spend much time with her for that reason.

Being flakey I can forgive as I can be the same due to severe anxiety.

What doenst make sense to me, is if this person just wants to be selfish have it all her own way

when I back off, why doesn’t she just let me go…..

she’s got other friends, not like I’m the only one

why get all needy and saying oh why haven’t I seen you in ages and why are you being off with me etc etc
just let me be busy

Meh I’d maybe see them like twice a year if I enjoyed their company and the place they were wanting to go was somewhere I was keen on but I would be best friends.

Yes but they won't accept that, they wil, harass you asking why they haven't heard from you etc

How would you prefer me to word the title ?

You just answered your own question.

She wants to be selfish and have it all her own way, and that includes her demands on you.

Oh yeah I know she's selfish and wants it her own way
But she does have a nice and fun too
And I wasn't sure if I was being too ott

As I seem to say an awful lot on here, you’re asking the wrong questions. The only behaviour here you can control is your own, and yours are the only motives you will be able to fully understand.

Your question shouldn’t be ‘Why doesn’t she let me go?’ but ‘Why do I not end a friendship I’m not enjoying?’ Or ‘Why am I not communicating my displeasure about elements of a friendship I do still value?’

I’m trying to end it but she’s not accepting and letting go
and I have tried to explain most of it
like we both have to have a say in what we do and where we do
but she doenst listen

I haven’t spelt out what is expected to be a considerate person as I’m not sure I should go that far as if I’ve gotta tell someone how to be basically decent
then really what is the point

Your feelings matter. If you aren't happy with the way the friendship has developed, then you are not being ott. She appears to expect you to jump to it whenever there's something she wants, and then gets in a strop when you don't. She doesn't appear to consider how you feel at all.

That’s exactly it to a T

Cause no one else would put up with her garbage maybe. A person can just take so much