Do you think Mumsnet represents real life?

[NewTiger]

Is it just me who feels lot of people here say things they wouldn't say to people in real life?

No, I have to say I really don't know many women in real life who won't actually use basic verbal communication, or who spend so much time shaking and crying over trivial things.

@Bathroomfloor agree entirely. It’s so extreme!

This is what I’ve always thought too

Posts saying I would have done this, I would have said that

This is what people would like to have done but didn’t actually do

In family planning? In romantic relationships?

Me too
If one of the many,.many awful threads was written by one of my.friends of be so sad that they are living through that

Romantic and sex, seems to be huge hate here, and I seen it online with some friends too, but never face to face.

What if I swore blind to you I was sitting here in my house, having cut off my two best friends because of a misunderstanding about bridesmaid dresses and tattoos in which I am steadfastly refusing to use my words (because obviously they should know without me telling them that I will cover my life-sized Amy Winehouse back tattoo for no one), while shaking and crying because someone just rang my doorbell to drop off a parcel while my DH was unavoidably absent on his Mysterious Hobby and my children were torturing the neighbours by taking it in turns to give a blood-curdling scream on the trampoline every thirty seconds?

It's the same everywhere on the Internet. Personally I don't find MN as bad as most sites, probably because there aren't any - correction, there are fewer - men around!

What I sadly think it does represent is the nasty things people often secretly think but wouldn’t dare say to your face but is fair game behind a keyboard and a fake name.

I really hope not. Before being on MN regularly I did not know that:
So many people don't answer their door if they weren't expecting someone.
So many people wash their towels every time they use them.
People assume that if someone is doing a wedding vows renewal that one party had to have been unfaithful.
You are the devil incarnate if you so much as raise your voice to a child.

And I'm sure there are many more strange things that only seem to be a "thing" on here.

This isn’t that mysterious. Obviously when you show up to the pub, proud as punch, with your teenage toyboy or a man who still talks about shillings and pence and is a decade older than your dad, your friends will, by and large, be polite.

I'd blame the patriarchy.

Nope it does not at all

Some People can be extremely rude and arrogant on here, as they are hiding behind a username and a screen, if they were like that in real life someone would smack them

Not enough feminism imo…

Domestic martyrs, too many threads about women going mental over the minutiae of nice smelling laundry and perfect Christmases, too many women in relationships with abusive selfish men ‘but they’re a good dad’, too many threads about feeding families (men ‘cook’ apparently but only women get bogged down with the daily drudge of mass catering), knackered older women with no libido medicating themselves to maker sure their husbands can still get their dicks wet… And that’s even before you get on to the structural and political inequalities on the FWR board.

It’s all quite infuriating to me. Most thinking women I know talk in feminist terms. I wonder why you find it so baffling to see it on MN?

I've thought that about vowel renewal before l even heard of MN!

I am talking about men though. I don't think a woman would receive much hate if any, it's older men who are criticised, not women.

It's not even that most people wouldn't be so nasty in real life, it's also that they wouldn't be as nasty on other online forums where name changing isn't allowed.

Because no fucker would reply to them.

On MN people can name change, be nasty, argumentative etc as much as they like.

And then slip back into their 'nice' name and chat about kittens and roses.

Bloody hell, I hope not. So much blind conformism, narrow-mindedness, intolerance and all-out vitriol spouted by far too many on MN. I often find myself thinking 'Is this what people are really like under the surface?'

I don’t see it as ‘nasty’. To me it’s just honesty. It’s what people think without having to adopt the veneer of politeness or social niceties. I like it. I prefer honest to RL fakery.

Middle class middle aged mother of kids who talk without filter.

OK so people say things on here that might not come out of their mouths in real life - that's probably for the best.

But they think those things. So it represents a broad spectrum of people's opinions and feelings that they might not actually say.

The only area where I don't think it accurately represents real life is the focus on trans people. IRL people don't give a shit and the extreme campaigners on both sides come across as loons.

I think mumsnet is largely people just airing shit that really doesn’t need airing. Some threads are good, but the vast majority is either looking for a debate, or anxious thoughts people can’t let go until they discuss.

Agree fakery isn't helpful, but surely you'd agree that politeness and social niceties do sometimes serve a purpose in avoiding hurting people's feelings? I think it's possible to strike a balance. Can't abide these people who go all round-eyed and 'But I was only being HONEST! People like me because they know what they stand with me, because I'm HONEST!' as they walk away from someone they've reduced to a sobbing wreck.

Not suggesting you're like that btw, just saying I think there's a happy medium and kindness has a part to play in getting along with people.

Yes I find a lot of the salaries bandied about on here quite extraordinary.
I know there is a variation in earnings depending on location but I'm left wondering what on earth jobs the OP's , and their partners, actually do that commands these high salaries.

I also feel dubious about the number of woman who purportedly hold down very high powered " executive " or professional jobs and yet seem absolutely without any sort of commonsense or emotional competancy in their personal lives. And really, if they have so much money why are they asking strangers on the Internet rather than buying specialist advice?

This.

I've never met anyone in real life with health anxiety. Never heard it called that other than in here.

Same with emetophobia.

I suppose it's logical that those with anxiety are more likely to be online but I'm not sure this is a good place to reduce it.

I drop into my friend's houses (and then mine) and I went to visit new babies well before the two week mark because everyone wanted to show them off or an adult chat/someone to make them a brew/hold the baby.