A thread about irksome things

[ChippySauce]

Anything!

Mine is my washing machine.
It's a pathological liar - tells me there's 9 minutes left of the cycle, half an hour later...it's still merrily swishing around.
Yes, merrily...

What's irking you tonight?

@dontcomeatme or these 😅

Oh dear, image didn’t add

Hahaha I need the laugh button back! I'm going to buy these and see how long it takes my OH to notice them all over the house 😅

In our house short periods of time are judged as “minutes” or “washing machine minutes”, with the former being precise, and the latter being any fecking thing from minus three minutes to 47 days. Bloody thing.

More irksome right now is the bastarding gas hob/saucepan pairing which are conspiring against me to make boiling anything at a predictable rate impossible. I don’t know if the gas isn’t coming out properly, the hob rings are blocked or the saucepans are staging a coup, but regardless, boiling a pan of the same amount of pasta takes anywhere from nine minutes to 25.

Squirrels. What the fuck are they playing at? Heard a thumping sound when passing a public waste basket yesterday, then a blaze of murky grey shot out. I dropped dead and remain decreased today.

My father was a writer. He had a particular pen he loved that was always going missing. He referred to it as Old Malevolent.

🤣🤣🤣

I'm with you all on the twatting printers, gas hobs and squirrels!
In the spirit of @CurlewKate 's father, my washing machine shall be known as Bosch the Barstard 😌

It took me a minute but I get it now. Just black it out and you won’t know. Good idea.

Washing machine time is a worldwide conspiracy. I've just been to a launderette in Thailand. Set my phone alarm down to the minute because I don't want to be out of air conditioning for a single second longer than I have to. Arrive back at the launderette with 10 seconds to go on my alarm, but 9 minutes to go on the machine, which turns out to in fact be 10 minutes. Evil spinning arseholes.

At the self checkout, the thing knows how much everything weighs right?

You put it all on and pay and then start loading the shopping back into your trolley and the thing says "Please take your shopping" in a snippy tone but I'm going as fast as I can! How come it knows how much a packet of fig rolls weigh but it can't tell you are taking your stuff and just keep it's rap shut?

I tell it to fuck off every single time now.

My husband. He was home for 18hrs between trips and he's left so much mess. How can they make so much mess in less than a day, with most of that asleep?