What did you do to prepare your child for school bullies?

[NC28]

Or what do you intend to do?

Some of the threads posted on here with kids being violent and bullying from reception age (probably even earlier!) make for hard reading.

I am keen to know what parents did, or wish they had done to minimise the chance of their child being the victim of these kids. I know you can’t eliminate the possibility completely, but what did you do to reduce it, or to ensure that they stood the best chance of handling a bully if the situation arose?

My son is really quite sensitive and him being bullied was my worry. He went to karate from a young age and it was brilliant for him, the discipline, how and when to use karate as defence. It built his confidence and strength too. Incidentally, he has sufferer from bullying and I mentioned it to his instructor who then did a fair few weeks where he talked specifically about bullies, bullying and how to handle it. His 3 instructors were brilliant with the kids.

The main thing a parent can do is respond quickly if something does happen.

Ask the school how they deal with bullying and make that part of your school choice.

No point in worrying young kids unnecessarily. They should already know they can tell a parent or a teacher if something is upsetting them.

Exactly.

I didn't feel there was very much I could do apart from try to instil the confidence in her to speak up when she witnesses something unfair - which I think is important in ensuring she wouldn't be a bully either. She does have a strong sense of justice and tells me about unfair things she witnesses and experiences, and she will stick up for friends very easily - but not so much for herself which is a worry. But if she keeps speaking to me then I will do my best to model the right response while making sure she knows I've always got her back.

Despite being physical and active she's reluctant to do any kind of self-defence as she's worried about hurting someone but we've agreed that when she goes to high school we will look at options.

I got a job in the school 😂

I took ages telling my boys that people have different ways of seeing things, and some people do and say mean things and sometimes it’s not their fault but you must tell an adult (if not mummy and daddy then your teacher etc). I said that people who are your friends are not rude and do not say hurtful things. They knew that hitting is wrong and that they should tell adults if this happened to them.

I also tried to instil self worth and self esteem in my children so that they valued themselves and understood their own value. This way they would not think that they somehow ‘deserved’ poor treatment from others, and would make sure to notice it and avoid people like this as they grew.

Their father told them “don’t start a fight, but if someone hits you then hit them back”.

Not sure which part worked, but thank God neither of my sons have been bullied. We’ve never had to deal with anything like this at all, and both boys have good friends.