Please help with my 4 year old's sleep

[Rosieposy89]

My dd is 4 in a few months and this past month her sleep has been a nightmare.

Normal routine:
Bed at 7
Couple of bedtime stories, one of us sits on the end of her bed until she sleeps. Sleeps through until 6.30. Usually asleep by 7.30

Now she just will not settle at night until 8.30-9.30. She climbs out of bed, messes around. Very hyper She loses it if we leave her to come downstairs. Gets very distressed.
I've now starting putting her to bed at 7.30 in case she wasn't tired, but it's had no effect. Sticker chart has had no effect. If she would just stay in her room and be calm it would bother me.

Room has a blackout blind.

What can we do, I'm so stressed

Are you having to wake her in the morning? Is she tired during the day? If not to both it sounds like she needs a much later bedtime.

Stickers leading to a big reward worked for me. At four I walked my kid round a toy shop and found something he was super invested in and then worked towards that with sticker collection.

Talk to her about the change. Tell her she's going to learn to sleep on her own and then spend a couple of nights outside the room putting her back to bed. On the worst night I think I did it for three hours. Deep pressure compression helped (search bedtime burrito) but it's shit and it takes time.

Now I give him a kiss, pop him in bed and leave him for ten minutes of audible/reading and then he turns his light out and goes to sleep. I would also say that at 6 his bedtime is only just now 7.30. Maybe consider 6.30-7 again for her, she might be over tired.

i was also going to ask if she is over tired?! My DD went through a spell of being hyper before bed and initially we put her bedtime later which made no difference. Then I read somewhere that over tiredness can manifest as hyperactive behaviour and unruliness before bed and we brought her bedtime forward by 30 minutes which had a positive impact. Everything is just a phase though so try not to worry! Why don't you give some thought to switching up the routine a bit? Change the time, insert something that makes her feel independent like picking a book to take to bed to look at on her own after you've gone downstairs? Or a new lamp? Or... anything to try to 'reset' routine xxx

What if you got rid of the blackout blind as she'll probably feel happier being alone in the room if its a bit lighter in there. Perhaps let her look at a book or even do some colouring in bed until she wants to settle down by herself?

Thank you for the reassurance. I need to be a bit stricter with her, but it's hard when she's distressed.

I think she might be overtired as we do have to wake her in the morning and she does look exhausted teatime.

I think I'll try the conversation with her and that she's a big girl now and do the sticker chart. I'll try bed at 6.45 tomorrow in 32 degree heat 😫

Thank you- I have got her a nightlight. I wouldn't mind her colouring or listening to her Tonies until she fell asleep, the problem is she won't stay by herself and runs out of her bedroom. If we shut the door she gets very distressed. I nearly ordered an extra tall gate in my desperation.

Could you put a fan in her room, like directly on her (well over her to cool her) as a treat for her? Might make her stay in bed? Especially if you say it's a polar bear bed or something?! I have found reason worked with my daughter but imagination works better with my son. Go easy on yourself OP!

With my kids, I found the only thing that worked was just putting them to bed later. That instantly changed things from bedtime struggles to them going to sleep within 5 /ten minutes.

The only other thing to suggest is a tip I picked up from a sleep scientist. He said that we need a dark environment well before we go to bed as darkness signals to our brain it’s time to sleep so our body and brain can start all the processes that will put us to sleep. I draw all the curtains in our house ideally 60 mins before we go to bed, or at a minimum 30 mins. It’s really helped me to get to sleep in the light summer months and my kids go to sleep easily even in the light summer months too.

Thank you all for your advice. I had a chat with dd today and she said she doesn't want to go to sleep on her own as she will be lonely, so hopefully can reassure her enough that we're still here

Thought I would update:
We seem to have turned a corner:
We still sit with her until she sleeps, but making sure TV is off 2 hours before sleep, later bedtime of 7.20 and a calm Tonies after 2 stories is doing the trick. Dd has been asleep by 8-8.10 🎊

That's great news. It's so hard when you're deep in the middle of sleep crisis, but solid routines now will pay off later.

You're doing great.