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Original poster

Sports Day- worried about DS

26 replies

driftingintheair · 19/06/2025 09:32

DS(10) has sports day tomorrow and is not at all sporty, has asthma that is sometimes exercise-induced and it’s going to be 29 degrees here tomorrow (he hates the heat and doesn’t cope well).

He is also being bullied by a group of boys including his former best friend who’s joined the main bully’s group. We have contacted the school earlier this week and they have acted quickly, and from what I’ve heard there has been other parent complaints about this group. It’s all still under investigation.

So, DS has signed up for the long distance run which is 2 laps around the field (about 800m total I think)- but he struggles with running big time. I don’t know what possessed him to pick this option - he said he wants to challenge himself, and sorry to he negative but I would be surprised if he can’t complete the race. He absolutely will come last by a long shot right in front of the whole school (large primary + parents).

What I’m most concerned about is the bullies - they have already made nasty remarks to him about his choice (I have told his teacher), and this race has disaster for DS written all over it. I don’t want him to do it - not because he may not finish/come last (because someone has to) but the bullies will undoubtedly be nasty to him afterwards (they are all sporty types too).

I don’t think I can bear to go and watch. This concern comes from a good place - but of all the bloody races he could have picked he’s gone for the long distance run in a heatwave 😢

OP posts:
MumChp · 19/06/2025 09:36

I would consider a no because of his health. It doesn't sound as a great idea. Can't he choose something else?

I would observe the bullying and notify teachers if any children are bullied.

Icanttakethisanymore · 19/06/2025 09:36

Oh gosh OP, this sounds so tough. If he wants to do it then I think you need to support him. Tell him you think he's really brave (because he is) and that you are so proud of him for trying. Tell him that he will find it difficult and that he might come last but that's ok and that taking part is the most important thing. Tell him some people might be unkind to him but most people will be cheering him on so he should try his best to finish if he can. I hope it goes ok xxxx

pizzaHeart · 19/06/2025 09:38

I think you need to go to school and have a chat with them about changing hud option for lighter ones citing medical reason : asthma, heat and long run don’t mix well.
Im sure they don’t want medical emergency on the day.
And then go and watch.

Seeline · 19/06/2025 09:38

Good on your DS - he says he wants to challenge himself, so let him have a go.
Make sure he has a hat and plenty of water, and his inhaler.
Be there to support him, and be ready to boost him, if he can't finish - great that he wanted to challenge himself, brilliant that he tried his best, can't ask for more than your best etc.
If he has confidence in his own resilience, he will be better placed to stand up to the bullies. It sounds as though school are on to them and will keep an eye on your DS.

Personally, I think sports days should be banned - or at least not compulsory. I can't think of any other school subject where pupils are forced to humiliate themselves in front of the whole school.

Moveoverdarlin · 19/06/2025 09:40

I’d ring the school now and say ‘He’s not up to doing 800m in 30 degrees tomorrow. He’s getting hassle from these boys and wants to prove himself. But his medical history with his asthma is risky. I don’t want to sound like an interfering Mother, but I am very concerned. Can you take him out of the 800m please and put him in something else? Please don’t let on I’ve rung and just get the teacher to say there’s been a reshuffle due to numbers.’

Perfectly reasonable. 800m for a primary school sports day in 30 degrees tomorrow heat sounds ridiculous.

My son is the same age and his sports day is tomorrow too. He’s very sporty and competitive but the furthest they’re running is about 50 meters!

Definitely ring or go and see them. If you mention his asthma there’s no way they’d risk it. If he’s 10, he’s been in the school for six years, they’d be aware of each child’s limitations. Ring, sort it out.

Luggagerackistopheavy · 19/06/2025 09:54

Icanttakethisanymore · 19/06/2025 09:36

Oh gosh OP, this sounds so tough. If he wants to do it then I think you need to support him. Tell him you think he's really brave (because he is) and that you are so proud of him for trying. Tell him that he will find it difficult and that he might come last but that's ok and that taking part is the most important thing. Tell him some people might be unkind to him but most people will be cheering him on so he should try his best to finish if he can. I hope it goes ok xxxx

Way to build his confidence

aredcar · 19/06/2025 09:56

I wouldn’t let him on health grounds. 800 metres in 30 degree heat with asthma is really not a good idea. Tell him and school he isn’t doing it on health grounds. Make sure you tell DS it’s not that you don’t think he will do well, but it isn’t safe for him to run that far in such hot weather with his asthma.

DoubleShotEspresso · 19/06/2025 09:57

Am with you OP. London has a weather warning today & my DC’s school are going ahead with sports day, this afternoon for 2 hours, temperature expected to be 32 degrees.
I will be collecting my child at lunch & bringing them home.
Keep him home.

Icanttakethisanymore · 19/06/2025 09:58

Luggagerackistopheavy · 19/06/2025 09:54

Way to build his confidence

Show quote history

OP doesn't think he will finish the race, I assume she knows her child. There is no point telling him he is going to win if he might not finish; it's about supporting him to do the best that he can and reassuring him that whatever he can manage is a good effort and that he should be proud of himself.

Aworldofmyown · 19/06/2025 10:00

Would he go for a day at home 'sick' instead? Just tell him your really worried about the heat and his asthma.

Luggagerackistopheavy · 19/06/2025 10:38

She won't tell him he's going to win but equally it's incredibly damaging to say you'll lose, you'll get bullied and all these bad things will happen to you.

SeaDragon17 · 19/06/2025 10:42

Let him do it, be there and support him, and be ready to act if there is more bullying. He is as likely to be bullied for pulling out as for doing it at this point, and if it wasn’t this it would be something else. That’s the nature of bullying sadly, all you can do is deal with it as it comes.

Respect his choice and admire his bravery and resilience - they are great attributes to show and will take him further than being cottonwoolled.

wastingtimeonhere · 19/06/2025 16:03

If the school has any sense they will pull the race anyway.

stichguru · 19/06/2025 16:09

If you are really worried for his health, keep him at home. But please don't tell him not to do it because of the bullying. The fact he wants to do it despite the bullies is confidence building. There will be times in life where there will be serious repercussions of pulling out of an activity, teaching him not to attempt something because he might not be as good at it as someone else is not a good idea.

Bigtom · 19/06/2025 16:16

800m is not very far at all - 2 laps round a running track. I would be shocked if a 10 year old couldn’t complete that. Let him go for it!

Louoby · 19/06/2025 16:17

if I were you I would phone my child in sick.

mimbleandlittlemy · 19/06/2025 16:24

A while back when DS was at primary, it hit 30 degrees on Sports Day - and it was cancelled. I think it highly unlikely they will go ahead with Amber advisories from the Met Office.

LoafofSellotape · 19/06/2025 16:27

It's a shame that the heat will being on an asthma attack and you will have to keep an eye on him at home 😉

Karatema · 19/06/2025 16:37

This is a safeguarding matter - primary aged children should not be doing sports in this searing heat! It would have been called off if it was raining; this weather is just as bad!
The heat alone is likely to start an asthma attack, I would be having words with the school.

coxesorangepippin · 19/06/2025 16:51

He's asthmatic?

He cannot attend

Lavenderkitty · 19/06/2025 16:53

Icanttakethisanymore · 19/06/2025 09:36

Oh gosh OP, this sounds so tough. If he wants to do it then I think you need to support him. Tell him you think he's really brave (because he is) and that you are so proud of him for trying. Tell him that he will find it difficult and that he might come last but that's ok and that taking part is the most important thing. Tell him some people might be unkind to him but most people will be cheering him on so he should try his best to finish if he can. I hope it goes ok xxxx

I agree with @Icanttakethisanymore
I would mentally prepare him for it being hard and the possibility that he may come last. And that is ok.
Tell him to start slow, 10 year olds always go out so fast on an 800m and many drop out or start crying on the 2nd lap. There will be really experienced kids who know how to pace themselves. Tell him to take the first lap easy.

If he's keen, get him down to a junior parkrun on Sunday mornings. It's a fun way for kids to get used to running.
Good luck for tomorrow, whatever decision you both make. X

Icanttakethisanymore · 19/06/2025 16:57

Luggagerackistopheavy · 19/06/2025 10:38

She won't tell him he's going to win but equally it's incredibly damaging to say you'll lose, you'll get bullied and all these bad things will happen to you.

I said 'he might lose' which is clearly true given somebody has to and OP thinks it will be him 'by a mile'. My point is, if the OP focuses on taking part and doing his best then where he ultimately comes doesn't matter.

Also he is being bullied, that's what's happening; they've already made comments about it. Resilience isn't about pretending it's not / won't happen, it's about learning to deal with it in a way that doesn't negatively affect him.

Parker231 · 19/06/2025 17:00

I’d be querying with the school that running type events shouldn’t be held in the heat.

Original poster
driftingintheair · 19/06/2025 17:04

They’ve just postponed sports day, thankfully! The humidity here is oppressive too.

I’ve taken everyone’s comments onboard thanks. It’s a delicate balance between protecting your child but also encouraging them to do things and stand up for themselves and be proud.

OP posts:
madaboutpurple · 19/06/2025 17:09

I can see no point in attending and many problems if it goes ahead. If I was the head of the school I( would cancel it .Your DC could end up needing to stay in hospital. It is not worth that risk.

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