Work feels hopeless, and I feel stuck

[BlueWorkDay]

I have a fairly senior role at a fairly well known company. I earn a fairly high salary, and we have a fairly comfortable life. Which all sounds great and like the intro to a wonderful humble brag.

But I'm miserable at work. Senior leadership are toxic, bullying is rife, there is a culture of misogyny, reprisal, and everything is high pressure, even if there's no reason for it to be.

No one has bullied me, but I see the way senior leadership treat people and it horrible.

People don't feel safe or valued, instead it feels like the next round of cuts could come for any of us.

I know what I'd tell a friend, I'd say to leave, it's not worth it.

But, the job market is tough, I don't have a clear idea of what I'd want to do instead (that'd pay an equivalent amount).

On the plus side, I get to work from home, I like many of my colleagues, I enjoy the actual job role. I just find the company culture stiffling and unpleasant. I've been with the company five years.

I'm the primary breadwinner in our household, we need a job like mine to pay the mortgage... so I feel feel stuck.

What would you do? Suck it up, focus on my free time, or try to get out of the rut and find something new?

Like many you do it for the money, you're lucky you can work from home so just get on with it. The grass ain't greener on the other side.

You know what @Safxxx that's a good reminder that bunches of people stay for the money (and that not loving your job isn't a fail!).

And working from home is definitely a bonus, though I do travel a fair bit (usually 8-9 hour flights, 3 nights in a shitty hotel, and 12-hour boardroom meetings, every couple of months (four times so far in 2025)). I think that's the bit I like least, because I'm in a boardroom full of a bunch of twats, willywanging for three days (and secretly crying in my shitty hotel room, often out of pure frustration, but also because i'd far rather be home with DH, DD, and DCat). Maybe I could find a way to reduce those types of meetings...

No advice but solidarity, as am in similar position. Though without 12 hour board meetings, mine are a couple of hours max - I'd go mad at more!

This sounds really tough, op - and unpleasant.

I would quietly look for other options if you can as life is too short to feel like this.

But as you are the main breadwinner, only leave if you think you have definitely found a better, less toxic option.

The fact you can wfh is a big plus to me but I don’t like the thought of you crying in the hotel at board meetings. Life is too precious for that shit. Look and then decide, op.

So you’re paid very well.

You work from home.

Every so often you go on an overseas jolly so can get a bit of sightseeing done, few nights in a lovely hotel etc

Sorry but sometimes you have to see the plusses in a situation rather than the minuses.

Also if you’re senior management why don’t you call people out on bad practice or bullying behaviour?

I would start looking for something else while you are still in the job.

Staying with a toxic organisation is just going to make you miserable and increasingly unmotivated.

Many people are scared of change as demonstrated by some of the comments on this thread but life is too short to waste it like this...

Thanks folks... I think looking in the background is a good option. Just to reassure myself that there are options (I think feeling trapped is the worst thing).

The challenge is that my job is wide and broad (I oversee a team of 30 people, who are split into 4 teams with different disciplines), so getting that breadth in a new role will be hard.

@THisbackwithavengeance
The point about jollies - they're really not very jolly... I fly for 9 hours in a Sunday (economy class), I get an uber for 1.5 hours to a Hilton Garden Inn in the suburbs, arriving at 6pm... I wake up at 4am (as I'm still on UK timezone), work until 7, and I am in meetings from 8.30am to 8pm, I eat hotel food, and repeat for a second day, then fly home over night, arriving at 7am, and working a full day. It's basically horrible. No jolly 😔

And of course I regularly raise issues as I see them to leadership... but because the issue is at the very top level (C-suite) there's only so much I can change. My team are happy, motivated, and high performing, and largely shielded from the downflow of shit from the top.

Hi OP, I am in a very similar position (albeit I travel to London from the north once a week)

it’s so tough, I don’t have the answer yet but things I have found that have helped me - investing in a coach to help navigate the environment and your reaction to it. Secondly speaking to some recruiters and job hunting.

I’ve found both these things remind me there’s a bigger world outside of the toxic environment, and also remembering what I work for (for me it’s the holidays!)

im still in a really low place, but not as bad as I had been and I’m just holding out for an offer soon. I’m also similar on the breadth of the role but actually similar things do exist, or you can take a small step back in responsibility to go forward again