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If you a first generation immigrant in the UK, how much money do you send “home”?

3 replies

CeRaVie · 18/06/2025 11:01

I have been supporting my parents financially over the last few years and while I have no issue sending them a fixed amount each month and more for birthdays that I can budget for, they have grown to rely on me for larger amounts when they needed - from healthcare to property maintenance, we are taking few thousands at a time. My Dad in particular is very comfortable asking and I am starting to resent spending my savings on them. They have no concept of how much I earn and how hard or easy it is for me to get the money, they have no idea if it’s my savings or if I borrow. They ask - I send.

They have £3k in savings but consider them untouchable, it’s emergency fund that they can never get to in an emergency because they lock it into annual contract for the last 10 years. I am at the point where I want my saving to grow for my retirement (age 46) and to help set up adding life (26).

So, how do I say no to the next request? I am feeling guilty that they have less in life than I do and I can’t let them go without. But I would never dream of asking DD like this, whatever my circumstances are.

OP posts:
Holluschickie · 18/06/2025 11:04

DH is. He sends zero because his parents don't need it. They are not wealthy but very frugal.
It'a a hard situation and YANBU.

Ariela · 18/06/2025 11:48

Just say 'I can't afford this '

CeRaVie · 18/06/2025 11:48

Thank you. For the first 10 years I didn’t send either - parents were doing OK, occasionally sent money to DD for a special occasion, I had nothing spare. But since 2014, things have changes as I made career progress and they have retired.

OP posts:
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