Birthday Gift - what’s acceptable?

[TheMumEdit]

I started a new job last year and it’s quite a small business. I’m an introvert and hate parties etc. One lady, who’s lovely, has invited me to her 60th party. It’s in a local hotel to her but quite far from me. What would a suitable gift be?

Financially, I’m struggling just now with some unexpected house costs. I originally intended not to go (due to finances) but she was upset when another colleague said they couldn’t go so feel pressured. Is wine too stingy? Never been to a party for a special age. It’s fancy dress as well so will need to buy a specific outfit.

In all honesty if I was having a 60th and inviting colleagues or friends I wouldn’t expect any gifts, at all, especially if they coming a distance.
Could you ask other colleagues what their thoughts are regarding a gift? If it’s expected maybe could all split between you to buy a gift from all the team instead? If not, of course a bottle of wine is fine.
What’s the fancy dress theme? We could give you some low cost ideas for the fancy dress to keep costs down as well.

I'd go with a bottle of wine or a nice box of chocolates if colleagues didn't want to alll chip in for a voucher

I have put towards a team gift. £15 each. Would have done that anyway though if no party. Team gift will be given at team lunch, not at party.
It’s a guys and dolls theme. I’m quite sporty and rarely dress up so will need to buy something.

If you really don’t want to go I’d just make an excuse - family event or something (or is it too late and you’ve agreed to go?)

I would not take wine or chocolates. Rather boring. I think flowers are far better. Gifts probably are not necessary and there might be an office whip round. I would quietly ask what others are doing who are going.

If you’ve already chipped in as your work team then there’s no need to take anything else!