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Advice needed

2 replies

Colinisatwat · 15/06/2025 23:25

Oh wise mumsnetters I am looking for someone advice for a friend of mine. Ive name changed but been here since my now adult kids were babies.
Friend (male- not that it makes any difference) was with his girlfriend for approx 10years. They never married and no kids however she had a kid who he has raised since they were 6 months old.

They bought a house together (tenants in common I believe).
There is approx 100k equity in the house.
DFriend moved out and has been paying just over half the mortgage. He wants to do the right thing by his stepdaughter as he very much views her as his own. She stays with him 2 nights a week.

He just found out that his exgf has moved someone else into the house - the man she cheated on him with.
My view is that he should insist exgf buy him out or sell the house so he can have a clean break from her. As they were not married he isn't liable to pay CM - although I know he will want to support his DSD as much as possible.
He doesn't have alot of money, is unlikely to be able to afford another property, and is currently living in a shared house- hes almost 50 so not how he saw his life going.

I have advised him not to stop paying his half of the mortgage as he doesnt want to screw his credit rating but is there anything else he should consider or any action he should take?

I know he could walk away once the house is sorted but I know he wants to maintain tain his relationship with his step daughter- which i believe is the right thing, however hes struggling financially right now. He's also hurting alot from the break-up.

TIA

OP posts:
MiloMinderbinder925 · 16/06/2025 07:30

I don't really understand what he's doing. He seems to be paying the majority of a mortgage for his ex and her new boyfriend. Is that correct?

His ex should buy him out or sell the house. As for maintaining contact with his step daughter, as long as his ex doesn't mind I'm sure that's not a problem. He may run into trouble if he stops paying for her and her bf to live there. If he's paying money towards her upkeep yet has no money himself, then he's a bit of an idiot.

Colinisatwat · 16/06/2025 15:55

I agree he is probably being a bit of an idiot. He's quite a softy and wants to do the right thing- but this seems to be at his own expense.

I wanted to check I'm not missing anything with any advice. It should be more straightforward as they were not married and no mutual kids.

Thanks.

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