Anyone here, without children (either by choice or circumstance or fertility issues), who has lovely, close relationships with nieces/nephews?

[buzzheath]

It looks like I probably won't end up having children - mostly due to chronic health issues that I won't get into here. I'm working through the sadness of it, part of which is (not sure if healthy or not?) hoping to have a great relationship with my niece, who is currently a baby, as she gets older. I live pretty close to my DB and DSIL, and likely will for the forseeable future, and see her on a weekly basis. But she's still only one, so true "bonding" opportunities are obviously still limited! But I do hope we'll develop a great bond when she's a bit older. I know it's not the same as having a child of my own, but knowing I'll have something of an opportunity to be a close adult in a child's life is helping a bit. But in reality, I imagine this will depend on a lot of things; how she develops, her personality, whether or not she actually likes me(!), and how my relationship with my brother might change and evolve etc.

Just curious to hear any nice accounts of people who are either childless/childfree, or even people who day have their own children, who have genuinely close, affectionate relationships with nieces/nephews.

Hello!

I have no children and adore my niece and nephew (brother's kids). They were born when I was at university so we're about 20 years apart in age. I feel close to them even though we have never lived nearby, they would come to stay at mine as a treat, and I would make an effort to go home and see them, take them out, babysit all day/night so their parents could have time off etc. They're now both in early 20s and after slightly less contact in their late teens they are in touch lots and they're very important to me, as I hope I am to them. Last saw them both last week, last spoke to them today/yesterday. Incidentally my sister (also no children) lives round the corner from them and is also very close to them. My niece even had "the talk" with my sister when she (niece!) got a boyfriend at 16, rather than with her own mum. Sister would drive them to and from school/college so lots of one on one time.

On top of that, I had an extremely beloved auntie, also childless, who I was very very close to as were my siblings and lots of other cousins. She lived 5 minutes away growing up and I saw her about twice a week. We would send her mothers day cards and gifts until she died a few years ago. I miss her very much and she was extremely special to me and to my other siblings.

So that's a long way of saying YES you will have a lovely relationship with your lucky niece because you'll get out what you put in. Learn what she's into and you get all the fun bits of being around, seeing her grow up, playing, gossiping, and still get to be the cool auntie with her own life and house.

PS nothing will prepare you for the first time your "baby" niece or nephew buys you a G&T! Life really does come at you fast ha ha :)

I have several 'godless' children - most of whom are grown up now. All of them friends children, I have no siblings and am child free myself.

I am closer to some than others but in touch with all of them.
Obviously our relationships have changed over the years and have become less entwined with my friendship with their parents. To some I am still very much their parents friend, others we have formed a more independent dynamic.

One comes on holiday with me most years (sometimes just us, but my dad joined us on the last one) we have fab days out shopping/lunching and text each other at least once a week.

Another (who has his own family now) still meets with me - usually to watch horror films!

I did a lot of babysitting, treating them and taking them out/away when they were young. Took them to gigs, made sure I had celebrations and parties that were family friendly. They have bought me a lot of joy (and some frustrations). I made time for them and their interests, acted as a sounding board or advice giver in difficult (teenage!) times.

I’m not sort of overtly maternal but I have developed a really great relationship with my niece and nephew, so I think if you are maternal you most likely will. The fact that you live close by is a big help because there’s that familiarity with you. If you’re someone who’s around a lot and you help look after them and play with them a bond just builds up. Like you say it’s not the same as having your own children but I do feel so happy and proud when they achieve things or have learnt something new.

I’m sorry about your struggles though.

I have children but my best friend does not. She has formed a really close bond with them. When they were small she visited anijt every three months. It has got less as they got older but they remain very fond of each other and close. I think as they all get older, my children will go to visit her on their own.

This is lovely, thanks so much for sharing! Do you have any tips/advice in terms of what you did to cultivate such strong relationships with your niece and nephew?

Offered a reasonable amount of childcare (when I was around) which was a win/win as I got to spend time with them and parents got to go out/do stuff. Took an interest in what they were interested in (dinosaurs, magic tricks, animals) and obviously when they got a bit older, made an effort to keep in touch despite teenagers being very crap at responding. But honestly there's no magic, just be there and love them and I bet it'll come naturally!

Not me….im the one with the litter of children! But my best friend since we were 11!

Shes the eldest of 8 siblings. Her mum wasn’t ever in the best place health-wise and her dad was never around as he was a long distance driver in an effort to support such a large family. She did her fair share of child-rearing when she was just a child herself, so is very happy with the decision not to have children of her own.
She is the most wonderful “auntie” to my children. They adore her, she will spend hours playing with them, treating them to the little things, always checking up on them, celebrates every achievement and milestone they reach - I’ve got close blood relatives who don’t even do that. She’s particularly close to my eldest DD who reminds her a lot of herself at that age.

Me!

Love my nephew to bits. He’s an only child so incredibly confident around adults and you can have great conversations with him. He‘s just fab. 😊

I’m on the fence about ever having a baby, I’m in absolutely no position to right now, and soon enough the choice will be taken away anyway because of my age, so I suspect I’ll be child-free. Staying close to my nephew is how I plan to stay young / down with the kids 😎

Yes. I took my nephew on a once in a lifetime holiday when he was a teen as he'd never been abroad. I'm about to buy my niece (different sibling parent) a car - she's also a teen.

I've never wanted kids and tbh don't really engage with my numerous DNs until they're about ten and can hold a conversation but very close after that!

I think it’s great that you want to develop a close bond with DN. It’s great for you and DN, plus it could be really helpful for DN’s parents if you offer to babysit.

I have adult children of my own, but I do have a close bond with a friend’s granddaughter who is 4. The little girl is probably neurodivergent, as am I, and I think this is one of the reasons why she likes me so much. Our friendship certainly adds to both our lives.

I have a friend who is very close to her Auntie. She lived with her Aunt for a while in her 20s as she was based in a city and it was an easier commute for her to work. Now she has children of her own and her Aunt looks after her children twice a week when she is at work, so she gets the experience of being a grandmother too! I think as long as you make the effort the bond will grow ❤️

I have great relationships with my nieces and nephew. Maybe not as close as you would like with your niece but I love the bones of them and I think they love (or at least like!) me too!
My Auntie has one adult son, but me and my sisters have been super close to her all of lives. I think of her as more than an aunt. She’s one of my closest friends as well and she would literally do anything for any of us. My mum died four months ago and I’m so glad to have her as a link to mum. There is no closer relationship than between siblings. She knew mum first after all. If you have the sort of relationship with your niece that we have with her you both be blessed!

I have 2 daughters but my sister is childfree. She has the most amazing relationship with them both and deserves it as she’s put so much effort into developing that.

For example - She encouraged various hobbies and paid for them to participate, takes them to see west end musicals, keeps rabbits because the girls wanted them but I’m allergic, texts them daily, and has regularly taken them on holiday - the 3 of them are going glamping in July!

My sister drives me potty sometimes but she adores my girls, before the oldest one turned 18 she was their nominated guardian and, as a single parent, I have also benefitted from the role she plays in my girls’ lives.