Families with both parents working - what’s your routine and how do you manage to carve time out for yourself??

[Footache82]

4 school age dcs under 13 so have a busy house. Both Dh and I work, I love my job to bits but it can be demanding and I’m just coming out the other side of a stressful period at work where basically all of my self care/diet/exercise etc went to shite (and I possibly ended up a little burnt out).

Trying to get back into a good rhythm but struggling tbh and can’t figure out how I found time before!

Our current routine is that I leave for work at 8am, pick the kids up from childminders at 530pm. We have an activity 4 evenings a week (2 are family activities, 2 are kids clubs). Generally get in home after 7pm, then it’s quick dinner and whatever bit of time we can have with the kids before bed. By this time Dh and I are both exhausted and generally get to bed around 10pm where we watch a bit of tv before crashing.

We have a fairly even split of cooking/cleaning/pickup/dropoff midweek. I do a few hours cleaning at the weekend while Dh does house upkeep and garden. We do try and get out with the kids at least once too.

It’s flipping relentless! I have no idea how I used to fit an evening walk in before, or weekend meal prep. I’m badly in need of some self care/exercise/hobby time (yes I know this is a total fantasy) but have no idea where to start.

Moving to p/t isn’t an option, neither is hiring a cleaner for a number of reasons. I go for convenience at every turn with things like grocery shopping etc. Kids are ok at cleaning their own rooms when nagged, not to my standard obvs but it’s tolerable.

Sorry for long rambling post, I know there probably no real answer but am hoping that in the absence of a magic solution, some of you lot might have some tips at the very least!

Four activities a week seems a lot, could you cut it down to three and have an evening to yourself?

I had thought of this, but the 2 family evenings are swimming, and basically they kill 2 birds with the 1 stone with regard to having some family time together, and also showering all 4 kids without having to go through the routine at home. Also, it keeps the kids off screens at home, which is the alternative.

I should have added, in the past I would sometimes get up at 6am to do an exercise video but can’t seem to drag myself out of bed that early any more (thank you perimenopause) 🙄

Anyone have any further tips or is everyone drowning in the same sea of overwhelm as me?? 😆

I’ve brought my walking shoes to work this morning in the hope that I’ll get out at lunchtime, I usually work through lunch but we’ll see how the morning goes 🤞

I’d cut the kids’ clubs or the swimming.

Can you work from home and do a gym class over lunch? Or do you have a gym in / near your work place that you could go to over lunch? My gym has classes starting at 6am, which might fit into your schedule.

ETA - I need to book in a gym session as I know then that I’ll go! If it was just, “aaah I’ll try to go to the gym later”, then I probably wouldn’t do it…

When do you rest? It’s doesn’t sound like it’s lack of motivation it’s lack of energy with the gym . So when do you something sedate for you that’s fulfilling?

This is exactly what I’m looking for, to carve out some time to do something fulfilling for myself. I feel like at least if I had this, I’d be better rested mentally. Perhaps then I might manage to do a 6am start for exercise 2-3 mornings a week.

I have pushed myself to go for a walk this lunchtime so that’s a start, and lo and behold I’ve found some public gym equipment that I didn’t even know was there so there’s an option to use this.

The bigger issue is maintaining the walks at lunchtime, my days just get so busy!

Block out your lunch time on your work diary so there's no danger of anyone booking a meeting during that period