Help to help someone find adopted child

[THEP0PE]

I have googled and can only see the registration. Are there any organisations that could help with counselling etc?
im helping a very vulnerable lady, she wants to find her daughter who was removed from her care when she was in her 20s. This lady had a learning delay but understands enough to know that she has been hugely affected by this and just wants to meet her daughter. I don’t want her to join the register and then her daughter find her with no support as she wouldn’t cope. Any ideas very gratefully received

I’d take this one very, very slowly. Fairytale reunion highly unlikely.

About 20 years ago I put myself on the NORCAP register, which only put you in touch with birth relatives if they were also on the register, and they did it via an intermediary, with counselling offered as well at every stage.

My birth mother was also on the register when I went on, so a councillor helped us navigate the situation. To be fair, we didn't really use the councillor with the exception of some advice on how to make the initial contact, but they were there if we needed them.

NORCAP closed down, but the register has been taken over by Family Action. They may offer a similar service, I'm not sure. But it may be worth looking into, and getting some advice from them if it is offered.

But please, please do proceed with extreme caution. I was lucky, it worked out very well for me and my birth mum, we love each other, and we are in regular contact. But neither of us are what I would call vunerable.

There are specialist agencies which offer support to birth mothers. If you Google for it, you will get details. Barnardos and PAC do it. Most adoptions in the UK in the last 30 years or so include at least letterbox contact between the birth family and the adopters. Did your friend not have this?

This sounds very much like my daughter’s birth mother. My daughter also has limited capacity, so wouldn’t understand her bm’s feelings. She is extremely egocentric because of her LDs. I could imagine her wanting to meet, but then being rude and hurtful.

Norcap seems to be up and running again - I used to be a member anbd counsellor with them back in the day : https://www.norcap.org.uk/index_php.html

They used to facilitate contact - possibly still do.

Yes - I see they have intermediaries.

You don't.
You can offer support and try to find counselling and put her name on the register but you don't try to trace the child, neither of you have that right.
I they wanted to be found they would reach out.

Is it really in the interest of the child?

It doesn't seem to be.