Fed up of alcohol

[CatloverNY]

I’m mid fifties and married. Stressful job. I grew up in an alcoholic household.
The thing is I’ve never considered my alcohol use to be a problem. It was only when a friend went sober that I started to think about it.
I drink approximately once or twice a week however I’d happily never drink again. Never drink on a work night and can go weeks without drinking.
But I am surrounded by people who like to drink a lot. My friendship group and husband are heavy drinkers.
It’s starting to get me down that all husband ever wants to do is drink or go to the pub (with me). We do very little else, though walk most days and watch TV.
His job is completely wfh whereas mine involves travel so as soon as we finish of a Friday he suggests straight down the pub as he’s been bored all week stuck at home, whereas I often just want to crash at home.
Im starting to feel unhappy with our lifestyle. We’ve both put weight on, Feel in a rut.
I want to change our lives to living a healthier lifestyle but I can’t get husband to buy in.
Any suggestions or do I just breakaway and do healthy by myself.

Rather than it being about telling your husband ‘no’ to the pub (which at once or twice a week isn’t so bad anyway)…

… why not focus on what healthy things you can be doing in the already non-pub time? So eg plan a long walk for a Sunday, a bike ride somewhere etc?

You could even plan a pub into the walk / at the end, which might get him engaged…!

I agree with @MidnightPatrol
Agree to the pub on Friday with the condition that you don’t stay too long as you’d like to get up for a walk/bike ride/swim tomorrow morning.
Find a local walking group if he doesn’t want to come and you go and do this yourself.
I do this and so does my friend in a different area to me. With found local walking groups on meetup.
Sundays are good for a walk and a pub lunch or a walk and a nice dinner at home.

I was an alcoholic and honestly, when I got sober, it was very eye opening all the stuff I wasn’t doing because I was planning my life around drinking.

Firstly, there are enjoyable fulfilling things that you can do without going to the pub. Go out for a meal at a really interesting restaurant (there are some really interesting ones that aren’t licensed so no alcohol to be found anyway). Sign yourself up for a Friday evening class. I started going to a sound bath. Sometimes I’d go for a swim. Go to the cinema (I got a membership at our local independent cinema and we go all the time). Go cycling or walking with a little camping stove and have your dinner somewhere beautiful.

Secondly, your dh needs to embrace doing things on his own. You don’t need to do things together. You can say I’m going to the beach to watch the sunset. If he wants to be boring and go the pub again, fine. He can go on his own some weeks or he can go on a Wednesday while you’re away. If he wants to spend time with you, he’s going to have to come out of his comfort zone more. He also needs to build his own social network. If he’s bored and lonely all week, he needs to take a class, join a club, go to the pub with Bob next door. He doesn’t have to rely on you for all his socialisation and he also needs to be a bit more responsible for creating a village for himself.

It’s also totally possible to go to the pub and not drink. I just did. Though I get bored after about 45 minutes. It’s not something I’d want to do on a weekly basis but once a month is okay.

I'm in 40s & have a husband who's a heavy drinker. We live next door to the pub which is even worse. I've struggled for years trying to change his habits and drove myself crazy trying. In the end I focused on myself. I've joined a womens only gym (and love it), we got a dog (much to his disagreement) he now loves the dog, and we got a 2nd, I do 90% of the walking, but I love walking my dogs, which gets me out and about walking. And I've taken a leaf out his book & make my own plans. He still goes to the pub and his social life revolves around it and everyone who goes there. But what I've realised is I can't change him. This culture had been part of his life for as long as me, if not longer. I can hope that my healthy habits filter down (so far they haven't) but I can focus and change my life and do more of what I love. It's frustrating at times, but you can't change someone who doesn't want to change, especially when it involves alcohol. So I'd say focus on yourself and ask yourself what would I like to do, and do it. If you don't know, find out.
And try to set boundaries to protect yourself and your energy. If you don't want to go to the pub don't. You get one life. So don't spend it doing things you don't want to do x