Self esteem: what makes you feel better?

[NestingBird]

I’m feeling so rubbish. Went to a wedding yesterday & I look dreadful in the photos. I made the mistake of wearing a dress I wore (beautifully) about 20 years ago & now I’m fat(ter) and my body’s changed. My hair got cut too short & my teeth are crooked. I was seated in the “cheap seats” with all the glowing, successful people in all the photos together. I feel incredibly left out.

Thej I noticed it’s spread to other parts of my life. I’m working but earning peanuts. I have written a book but nobody really talks about it any more. I feel really stupid. I got my PhD years ago and everyone is now in a high flying career apart from me.

I am divorced & I feel like my bf takes me for granted. My mum is dead is dad has issues so NC. I don’t have anyone to lavish me with praise but I feel I don’t deserve any praise anyway.

Maybe it’s normal once your dcs leave home & menopause hits & life is half over, to feel like this. I had had therapy during & after my divorce but stopped as I felt I was even boring the therapist.

How do I get my self esteem up again? What do you do for this?

Does anyone else get this way?

Not the same but I can empathise. I used to be very beautiful (not bragging, just stating a fact) I was a head turner. Now past menopause with all the aches, pains, lack of confidence, brain fog, low self esteem, lack of fitness… oh the list goes on. However I’ve managed to keep my figure even if it is a bit slack and wrinkled in places.
Earlier this year I broke my leg which obviously placed me in a state of inertia, I subsequently ended up with general muscle wastage from lack of exercise and got very down and depressed, I have friends but didn’t even want to bother with them.
I’ve just started an at home ‘beauty regime’ (do t know what else to call it, I’m a bit old school). Bought myself some new cosmetics, researched online for cruelty free natural cleansing and anti-aging products and it’s given me a focus, it’s a start!
My skin is looking fresher, my body feels better because it’s soft and smooth from body lotion. I’ve bought some cook books, changed my diet (mostly vegetarian) and eat healthy. I interact with friends every day even if it’s just on FB or WhatsApp and I go for a walk. It all sounds like not very much but making the effort to look better has lifted me out of my misery. There’s still a way to go but I’m on the right track.I hope this helps, you could start right now by treating yourself to leisurely morning, have a soothing bath (I use lavender aromatherapy oil in mine) then go for a gentle walk and take in the beauty around you. Even if your view is a row of houses look for the good, the nice garden, the greenery, the fluffy clouds. Say good morning to people.
Exercise is important and it will tone your body.

Thank you, really grateful for the reply. I was like you, people described me as “stunning” but now feel like I photograph badly & I don’t know what to wear or how to act.

Sorry about your broken leg, that must have been v difficult. Yes, maybe I need the same a sort of glow-up. I probably lack the interactions too. Great idea walking, that does make me feel better. I wonder if I should try getting out more.

thank you!