Fathers' Day problems

[MyDadWasAnArse]

My dad is dead now but he was a rubbish dad and I find it hard to think of positive memories of him. He was verbally abusive and hit me and was a terrible provider. Very selfish. I also feel guilty for verbalising this.

I struggle with Father's Day. He stuffed up my childhood and adolescence leaving me poorly equipped to be a functional adult.

Any suggestions?

Be kind to yourself. Father’s Day is optional, you can spend today doing anything you like.
Can you do something you love today?

Sorry OP

Thinking of everyone who Fathers Day is difficult for

I think distraction is probably key

It can be a hard day for many. Different situation but DH's dad is very ill and this will probably be the last Father's Day he's here. You don't have to celebrate it......in your shoes I'd treat yourself today and do something that you'd really enjoy whether that's a walk and then coffee and cake, a long bath, going to the cinema..... whatever you like!

Father's Day is hard for me too but in a different way to you. It's hard to see people celebrating their DFs especially when yours was so awful.

Be kind to yourself. You are an incredible person in spite of his abuse.

Hard for me too but trying not to think about it. My child doesnt know its fathers day today, his dad doesnt bother with him much. Will probably get snacks and watch a movie at home or play at the park.

Very very similar situation here @MyDadWasAnArse . My dad was physically and verbally abusive, we were beaten, starved etc etc, and yet when I went to his funeral I cried bucketloads! Father's Day was difficult for years because I wasn't sure how I was 'meant' to feel - you'll understand exactly what I mean, I'm sure.

DH and I don't have children, but we have a new tradition on Father's Day now which makes it into a positive day now - I get him the daftest card I can find and sign it in really wonky handwriting from all of our pets (even the snakes!), I give them all different writing styles too! We then have a proper little picnic lunch (nice sandwiches, coleslaw, potato salad, crisps, salad and a fancy wee cake each) , we really enjoy it, daft as it sounds. (And since my mum died, he does the same for me for Mother's Day!)

It's certainly taken the negative association away from me anyway and while I appreciate that DH and I are a pair of daft old buggers, maybe you could think of a positive thing that you could start to make it your own happier tradition?

Hope today isn't too difficult for you.

Me too.
My siblings and I cut contact about 7 years ago after a significant event made us all realise how abusive he had been to all of us.

I have mixed emotions on days like today, but I know he wasn't a good father and I never will speak to him again.

The kids will make sure dh enjoys his day though.