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Having trouble with 6 yo, lying

4 replies

Halloumiontoast · 14/06/2025 21:53

DS is a lovely clever boy but he's really pushing boundaries right now. I feel like I have a mini teenager, "I don't want to eat, I'm still doing Lego/reading/etc." and then after the fourth time he comes and whinges "my eggs are cold." Or, grumpily, "I don't want to go to X/Y/Z," Or my favourite, "Why do I have to do SO MUCH?" when asked to tidy up his dishes after a meal. And being a pest to his 2 yo sister (snatching, screeching in her ear, etc). I know he gets jealous of her, so I do my best to reprimand her immediately if she snatches from him or strikes him, but it's really quite annoying! I try to talk to him about being kind and acting towards her how he'd like her to act (he often instigates) but it doesn't seem to make much difference.

He's also started lying. We walked out of the tube last week and he must have picked up a small piece of metal (there were works, perhaps it was a bit of leftover metal) as I heard it clank as if thrown or kicked. (I was walking a bit in front of him with the pushchair, he was scanning the pavement for rocks and sticks as you do). I turned and asked him what happened and he said he didn't know, he thought it must have come from the skips about 300m ahead of us. I could tell he had done something but I couldn't quite sort it (there were several cars parked there and I was concerned he would hit one)

He also does things like turn the tap on and run it for ages, I don't know exactly what he's doing but just messing about I reckon. He says he's not doing it but I hear the water in the pipes and see water splashed all over the countertop. Or he emptied the toothpaste and filled it with water and denied it.

He's quite clever and I love him to bits but my patience is wearing quite thin. DH is much more easygoing and can say "look, the toothpaste's turned to water" and laugh about it whilst I'm more likely to be annoyed and then doubly annoyed that he's lying about not having done it, and we end up in a conflict. Is this just a sort of phase? Any suggestions for managing 6 yo cheekiness or lying? Or for maintaining my patience? I know he's young and I'm sure pushing boundaries is developmentally normal but it is really quite trying.

OP posts:
Halloumiontoast · 15/06/2025 05:42

Bump?

OP posts:
TulipDaff · 15/06/2025 06:34

That sounds just what 6yos are like, I think. Often very annoying, but none of it is very serious.

There was a radio 4 programme recently about lying and it said that 5 is the peak age for it - they’re old enough to construct a false narrative, and are just working out what’s possible/ sensible / socially acceptable in terms of lying.

Halloumiontoast · 15/06/2025 18:43

@TulipDaff thavk you, yes annoying is the right word for it, isn’t it? I love him to bits but wow, I hadn’t expected this back talk and cheekiness! Anyone have suggestions for addressing the lying?

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Mjayy101 · 01/09/2025 20:08

Mama of 4 kids here, my oldest 17 and youngest 4…. 2 boys & 2 girls and what’s worked best? Behaviour/Reward chart! Order a big colourful fun one from Amazon, different colour whiteboard pens and stickers (reusable preferable) it’s sooo easy to get caught up on all the negative stuff when it’s constant and your repeating yourself over and over again and wanna scream, but trust me the chart and focusing on the positives it will work! We did tasks like, brush teeth, eat veg, be kind, tidy up etc there’s so many great tasks to choose from, and how many stars to win say a late night? 10 stars by Friday, or 15 stars by Saturday and you can get a new toy (pocket money £5 and under) we would bake cakes etc to try get it cheap and cheerful cause that adds up lol yous will find a way, just don’t beat yourself up too hard, your a human not a robot 🤷🏻‍♀️

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