Kids and putting dog to sleep

[Taximother]

We’ve come to the heartbreaking realisation that it is time to put our 16 year old terrier to sleep. We’ve had her since before kids and are dreading it. We will probably do it in the next week or so.

We have 3 kids - all love her and will be devastated but our 10 year old in particular is very attached to her and I know will totally heartbroken. He’s a sensitive kid and I just know he will take it really badly.

So I need advice on the logistics of it all. Do we tell them and it happens that day? Do we say it’s happening and give a day or two to spend time with her? Do we do it on a Saturday and have a weekend to get the worst of the tears out or in the week and they miss school/go to school?

I'm dreading it enough personally let alone how to best help them through the process and the aftermath. Anyone been there and have any advice? I’ve never had to do this before and don’t want to get it wrong. How long did it take your kids to get over it? How long did it take you?! Thanks X

I would tell them, whether they know or not its going to cause them alot of upset so at least let them say goodbye.

I have 2 dds and we've been through this three times once was a cat and a car accident so rather sudden and the other two were planned.
It definitely helped them knowing what was to come.

When you tell them don't use the term put to sleep
It could cause worry over bedtimes and sleeping.

With one of our dogs dds were both under 5
We explained that he was in a lot of pain due to his cancer and that he wasn't going to be able to get better.
Becuse we knew it was coming we were able to arrange a last weekend where the children got to do lots of nice things with him like loads of treats and a nice tea for him.

Dds both still mention him he's been gone 6 years
Dd2 who was only 3 still crys about him occasionally but I think she dosent really remember him only the stories of him now.
I'm still not over it.

Be prepared as well, we thought we'd get longer with him maybe 2 or 3 weeks but he went downhill quickly and we only managed to get through the weekend before he told us he'd had enough.

I’d like to do a ‘last weekend’ but worry it’ll make it even harder and they won’t want to let her go! Did you do it when they then went to school? We’ve already decided we wouldn’t do it at home but it’s the thought of having to carry her away to do it 😞

I agree with a pp about not using the word 'sleep'. Timing-wise, maybe on a Friday afternoon while they are at school.

Tell them as soon as possible that it’s going to be happening soon. And then once you have it booked, I’d make sure they know. If any of them ask to be there, I’d consider it.

I had to put my dog to sleep as a teenager. Literally me. My mum went away for the week and left me home to fend for myself with the dog, who was old and poorly. She went downhill quickly and I had to get a neighbour to drive us to the vet. So I was there by myself with her. It was actually really nice closure. My dd, who was probably 9/10 at the time, was there for her rabbit to be PTS. She was okay and I think grateful she could be there.

Definitely do not spring it on them. They need time to prepare and say goodbye. I wouldn’t worry about school. More than likely they’ll be okay to go to school, but I would just keep them home sick on the day or after if you need to.

Does your vet practice have a trained bereaved counsellor? If so, take their advice. My dcs were older and she advised it was best for them to be present. It was a highly emotional experience but we are all glad we were there. However I do not know about younger ie primary school age so I would rather you consulted someone trained in this. Blue Cross have a lot of resources for this issue and they also have a great support group on Facebook.