Not sure what to do ,need opinions pls regarding moving

[Notsurewhattodo2]

We ,2 parents and 2 adult DC live in a fairly built up ,but nice area.
Both adult DC are autistic and one has learning disabilities.
I also have autism,and find it difficult making decisions.
I'm a full time carer to the adult DC.( ADC )
Living near us independently in said built up area are two other adult DC .
The two adult DC living at home with us ,will not live independently,so will need to live with us ,or some sort of supported living.
Currently ADC are not leaving the house ,or wanting to go anywhere, occasionally we have managed a holiday.
I'm thinking we could move somewhere more rural,to give ADC a quieter area to live in ,with me hoping they would venture out more ,go for walks ,leave the house .
But then I'm moving them away from their siblings who would be their only support when we have died .
If we stay in built up area ,the ADC would have support from siblings
,if we move away ,it's going to be tricky with jobs and families for their siblings to be much help.
Or we could move to a nice rural area ,and they could still not leave the house ,not enjoy the area ect .
I'm not sure what's best for ADC
Any thoughts?

I would be focusing on finding them supported living.

I did ,he refused point blank to go .won't even entertain the idea .
Social worker said he had to go before a panel and get approved,and obviously be willing,which he wasn't.

But are your other DC likely to stay in the area? What if they want to move?
It’s very difficult but I’d be leaning on staying put, unless YOU want to move more rurally. I just think everything is harder and requires more independence if out of the town/city.

Currently both DC living independently say they will be staying in this area

I don't even know what I want .I gave up thinking what's best for me a long time ago.
It's been a blur of putting them first since they were born.
Not that I resent that ,I don't at all.
It was to difficult to move in the past with EHCPs tied to the local area for bespoke education

As the mum of an adult DC who lives in supported living close to home, I would personally stay close to facilities and any other family who are able to offer additional support as what would happen if either you or your DH is taken seriously ill, becomes disabled or dies? Would the remaining parent be able to cope alone in a rural area?

That is a very good point seahorse,I'd not considered that at all .thankyou

I agree with PPs who said stay put. More facilities, more support.

Keep gently trying to get DC willing to look at supported housing options and understanding that you will not always be there and that the help that can reasonably be expected from siblings will be much less.

Think about yourself too. Would you like a holiday or weekend away somewhere rural? Start trying to get DC to accept some short-term external support/respite care so you can have a break. It is in their interests to get them used to you not always being there. (If you can, I know it can be very hard).

I've seen there is supported living for over 50s ,and mentally decided we would aim for that .
Or they could mature in time to go the council waiting list with social services support of a package of care ..that has been discussed,but everyone felt DC wasn't quite mature enough yet.
I think it's probably best staying put to ,but I guess the grass is always greener on the other side ,kind of thing ..would they suddenly change and become more outgoing in a quieter area