Moving in with my boyfriend, my best friend and her baby

[Rosehipsandlavender]

Myself and my boyfriend are in our early twenties, living together in a little studio flat. We are looking to move out within the next month or so. My best friend is pregnant, due in the next couple of months. She is in a bit of a complex situation with living arrangements etc. We were thinking of renting a 2 bed flat together, as this would solve her problems and would also mean we could all live in a much nicer place for cheaper.
Has anyone got any advice or even had the same sort of set up?

Yep, I've got some advice - don't do it! Living with a baby is enough to turn married couples into basket cases, let alone anyone else. If she's an easy going sort of young woman now, look out because she won't be after giving birth - I can guarantee it. You'll have to be careful with every sound you make, when you come and go - god the list is endless. Your lives will literally be dictated by the baby and it's routine/needs and your friend will change after having a baby. Even if you think you can handle it (although I doubt you will like it very much), do you really think your bf knows what he's getting into? I'm also concerned about the practical implications of this agreement in terms of the tenancy. Seriously OP, this situation is literally asking for trouble.

What??
they will have a joint tenancy agreement, she will be able to claim benefits towards her share. I am not sure why people are struggling so much with the idea of someone on benefits living in a house share. It's really not complicated.

It’s a lovely thing to do but I suspect you and your boyfriend have little experience of being with a newborn and baby for an extended period of time. Their stuff, their noise and their routine becomes all consuming for the whole household, and that’s even with one who is generally content. Should the baby have colic for instance and scream around the clock living with that child is incredibly upsetting and stressful. I also think there’s a risk that your friend might come to expect you offer parenting support, which with time you might resent.

Have you lived with a baby before? They don’t sleep much, need a lot of looking after, she might ge5 jealous if you are out lots or come in and wake the baby. Or make noise at other times and wake the baby. A couple living with another friend can strain relationships never mind throwing a baby into the mix. But if you are all easy going it could be amazing.

What are you talking about?

I expect she will be entitled to less benefits if she lives with other adults as her housing allowance will reduce. It sounds lovely to live together but in reality it would be stressful new babies are loud!

She'll be entitled to have her rent paid up to the maximum LHA rate for the area. If that's more than her rent she will have to pay the shortfall.

It's a lovely idea in theory and I get you want to help your friend but this will destroy your friendship and put a huge strain on you and your BF relationship.
Help her look for somewhere nearby and offer to help with the baby instead

Babies and toddlers are so loud that even neighbours complain at the crying and early wake ups. Imagine having the baby in the next room to you, waking up every hour and mum up most of the night making bottles, changing nappies etc.

If there is any crisis (baby has a disability or issue, or any health issue with mum), it will be almost impossible for you to refuse to help, if the hospital or social services put pressure on you to step in.

Fucking he'll no! It's such hard work with a new baby and it'll have an impact on you and your boyfriend's relationship not to mention your BF!

Oh GAWD no!!!

Yep, my advice would be don't do it.

No. If they are joint tenants her share of the rent is her share of the rent, thats it, its nothing to do with whoever else is the joint tenant

If the LHA for the 2 bed flat is 800 a month and her share is 500 a month then she has to top up. (for example)

The tenancy arrangements are the last reason for not going through with such a plan for the OP. Bad idea, but not because of the rent.

Depends on how well you all get on, and whether you like small kids. If she's someone who feels like family, and you know that she's easy to live with, it could be a lovely way to provide company and share in her child's early life.

Crisis or no crisis, there will be times when the mum is at her absolute wits end with a screaming baby and it is simply not going to work if OP and her boyfriend think they can kick back with a bottle of wine and Netflix and ignore it.

They will have to commit to providing support - fine if that’s what they know they are signing up for. But it would be complete naive to think you could have a harmonious household if OP and BF aren’t pitching in.

Don't do it. It will end in tears.

This is what I’m thinking.
Thank you for everyone’s responses regardless of opinion, I’m taking it all on board.