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So angry and frustrated, blaming self

6 replies

ByLimeAnt · 14/06/2025 07:39

I've got a long history of intermittent tachycardia, no trigger, just starts and stops. Normally manage fine with this (Valsalva/ cold water helpful about 60% of time). Very occasionally it goes on >6 hours and i get short of breath and very very tired but otherwise fine. All investigations normal. It really isn't a major problem.

I'vee been feeling rubbish for a couple of months now, getting fatigued very easily, needing to sleep through afternoon so went part time (no one, least of all me is happy with this).

Bloods done, showed low ferritin, started on iron and colonoscopy performed; polyps but not thought to be related to blood loss.

1 week ago I was driving when I suddenly felt - odd, bit unwell and then realised that something awful was going to happen. I pulled over, turned the car off, got out of driver's seat and put my head between my legs. I woke up in an ambulance.

Apparently I was grey and unresponsive. Very weak carotid pulse, x 1 round of CPR (wheher that was actually needed I don't know. Someone for a defibrillator and attached it and a shock was not advised).

Doctor thinks my heart may have stopped for 3-4 seconds causing collapse and I have recorder fitted for a fortnight.

And I cannot drive for 6 months. I cannot tell you what a problem this is. Live VERY rurally- closest public transport ten miles away. Taxi company closes at 6pm. No family remotely nearby. Some great friends but they live in town even further away and have their own jobs and family so can't rely (or ask) for much help.

Sons need lifts to college/football/etc. Can't KEEP asking for lifts from school friends etc.

Only (kind of !) hope on horizon is that is the recorder picks up an arrhythmia of kind, Dr said they will insert a pacemaker immediately and I can be back driving the week after as they have identified a cause and have fixed it.

Am furious, devastated and frustrated.

Don't know what I'm asking for. Sorry.

OP posts:
CalicoPusscat · 14/06/2025 07:43

For starters, don't blame yourself 🙁

It is a difficult situation if public transport is limited. I guess the boys' father can't help out?

Wishing you the best and hope medical assistance works out 🌺

CrowMate · 14/06/2025 07:45

I’m so sorry this is happening to you, it sounds
frightening and frustrating and just awful.
I think we blame ourselves as it makes us feel like we have some control over situations.

You absolutely can lean on others for lifts while this is going on. If you let friends’ parents know, I am sure they’d be happy to help.

Be gentle with yourself. I really hope that they find something that’s easily sorted for you.

ByLimeAnt · 14/06/2025 15:44

Thank you for all your kind comments! Hopeful bump in case anyone else has any thoughts or experience

OP posts:

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jasdf · 14/06/2025 15:48

if I lived nearby and was doing lifts already or was able to give you lifts, I’d be happy to help for as long as needed. People like to be helpful. Ask for the help you need and deserve.

NeedForSpeed · 14/06/2025 15:49

No advice for your medical situation, but if your sons are at college, they are old enough to ride mopeds.

Maybe look at cheap run around mopeds and get them their provisional driving licences and booked in for their CBTs. Gives them some independence and takes pressure off you.

Smartiepants79 · 14/06/2025 15:51

I can see why this is very frustrating and worrying but why on earth are you blaming yourself? What do you think you should have done differently?
Let other people help. Hopefully it’s not for long.

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