To feel a bit worn down

[Notsurewheretoturn]

Recently I just feel worn down. I feel like I can't move on from my past and low in mood. I've been on anti depressants for years and they do help but rumination and regrets are rife at the minute. Any idea how to move on

What is work, family life like?

Exercise?

I like my job and do the gym 3 times a week. I don't know I struggle to move on from things and cringe at past behaviour. I think I was so desperate to be liked alot of people took the piss leaving me a bit open

You’d benefit from therapy.

any children? Partner?

do you get lots of fresh air?

Husband and 1 child whose from my 1st marriage.

Deleted wrong thread

Happy marriage?

If it’s any consolation OP I feel EXACTLY the same as you

This is my 2nd marriage and yes it's so much better. I didnt want to marry my 1st husband really if I'm honest.

How do you get past it?

I can’t lie OP - it’s very difficult.

I’m not on any kind of medication but I do find it difficult.

I want to start a diet today and exercise program as I’ve been overeating. This has helped me in the past a lot. The feeling of week by week getting fitter and thinner. Weigh myself once a week in Boots. That’s very much needed to see the progress.

In general - I want to move forward for the sake of someone I love - but it’s easier said than done OP I feel your pain. Try and enjoy the small things - if this makes sense - programmes you like etc as a reward - anything that helps you move on with your life to a better future

I agree with the person who said you would benefit from therapy. It will help you to forgive yourself (for whatever you are unhappy with) and to move on. The British Psychological Society has an online directory of qualified therapists that you can search by area and specialism. Even a few sessions can make a big difference. Wishing you all the best.

We cannot change the past. It has happened and been and gone. Stop beating yourself up or over analysing things that cannot be changed.

Try to make a real effort to live in the present. Focus on 24 hour or week blocks and keep a diary where you can write down goals or intentions for the week. Even simple things like drinking plenty of water, making sure you get out in nature, making time to light and candle and read a book.

We can’t control the past or the future all we can do is live in the present and do our best.

I can relate to all of this

OP also what’s helped me is

KEEP A MOOD JOURNAL !! if you’re feeling down it really helps you stay on track with your goals !

Sorry the only reason I’m writing in caps is because I can SO RELATE to this!

Thank you this is so true for me as well as I suffer same problem as OP

Another great point to focus on @Notsurewheretoturn is that you’re able to look back on past behaviour and experience and learn lessons from them. Some people go through life never learning or growing. You have been able to change yourself for the better by reflecting on past behaviour. That’s a great thing!

I mean I married someone I didn't like ? And had a child. That's not normal in anyone's world. Wtf.

hindsight is a wonderful thing. Plenty of people have been in relationships that aren’t good, healthy or with a person they should really be with but sometimes we don’t see these things until they are over and done and we can look back.

it sounds like you’re being overly harsh and critical of yourself rather than looking at the positives of how far you’ve come and how much you’ve grown and changed.

I was always the periphery friend and still am. I wasn't overly wanted as a child. My mum shouldn't have had kids really.

i was with someone I didn’t like for 7 years and we bought a house together. It’s not as uncommon as you think

Why though?!?

I was from an abusive home and wanted security- also I had low self esteem

But all that in the past.

You left, and now you’re with someone you don’t just like but you love!

I just wish I wasn't such a serious person I guess.